Autobiography

Before I relate the story of my life, I will first describe the life of my mother, Kursinah, before she was married, as it is important to know what happened to her at that time.

When Ibu Kursinah was still small she lived with her parents in Juangi in the Telawah district of Surakarta. Her parents were then working as suppliers of materials for maintaining the Semarang-Solo railway line.

Mother told me that when she was small she would often sleep by the grave of one of her ancestors. She had been forbidden to do so by her parents, but nevertheless she felt a compulsion to go and sleep there.

One night, Ibu Kursinah was sleeping soundly at the grave, when she was startled by the approach of a large tiger with a fine coat of pure white fur. Mother was terrified, but her fear left her when she saw that the tiger seemed to know her and that -- she could tell from the way it behaved -- it was guarding the grave.

Later on, mother was told by her elders that the white tiger sometimes seen at the grave was the guardian of the grave. They also told her that the grave was that of Prince Suryaku-sumo, a prince from Kadilangu, Demak. After this, mother felt much more confident and she slept at the grave more often.

This went on until she was approaching adulthood. Then one night, while sleeping at the grave, she dreamt that she was bathed in a great light like the light of the sun and she felt the light pierce her very being. Mother was so startled that she woke from her sleep.

According to mother, her mother- Masiyah, the wife of Kiai Karto-Seh -- was the daughter of Nyai Singodirono, a refugee from Serang-Puguh, Surakarta. Nyai Singodirono was the daughter of Prince Purbokusumo -- the soul of Prince Suryoku-sumo from Kadilangu Demak -- who was also buried in the cemetery at Juangi Telawah, Surakarta. It was also said that my mother was related to Raden Ayu Mursiah, a heroine of the Dipanegaran war who was buried at Samigaluh Kalon Pengo.

My mother's father, Kiai Karto-Seh came from Cirebon, and when he was young he traveled continually from one religious school to another to deepen his understanding of Islam. It is thought that he was a descendant of Sultan Kascpuhan of Cirebon, but it is not clear whether or not this is true.

Mother also told me that when her parents moved with her to Kedungjati, which is near Semarang, the house of her father, Kiai Karto-Seh, happened to be close to the house of grandfather Raden Mas Sumowardoyo, who had moved there from Surakarta. It was not long before mother and father were married.

Soon after they were married, mother became pregnant. During the pregnancy, she had many strange dreams. By nature, mother was very reserved and she told no-one of these dreams, not even her husband.

As the month of June 1901 approached, a great roar was heard. This was the sound of the eruption of Mount Kclud, and it was followed by a great precipitation of ash. The days which had been bright and clear became pitch dark. Birds died, and the people were in a state of panic as they thought the world was about to end. In contrast, mother felt calm and safe; she felt an inner voice whisper that these troubling events would soon be over.

Then, as the time of birth approached, mother saw the mountains enveloped with clouds, like a belt around a person's waist; at that time many children were born but died immediately. Only then, with these conditions affecting the people, did mother feel concern for the unborn child.

Fortunately, through the grace of Almighty God, mother gave birth safely at 5am on Saturday Wage, the third day of Maulud in the year of Dhal, 1831 -- or June 22nd, 1901. Grandfather and grandmother Raden Mas Sumowardoyo were present at the birth, With a feeling of joy and praise to Almighty God, grandfather said, "Today coincides with the day, the month and thc year of the birth of Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him. And today a forty-cannon salute will be fired in the palaces of Surakarta and Yogyakarta to commemorate the birth of the Prophet, peace be upon him."

After the baby had been washed, grandfather Raden Mas Sumowardoyo held him on his lap and said, "I will look after this baby and will always keep him near me."

The baby was named Sukarno. However, because he was sickly, his name was changed to Muhammad Subuh by a mysterious old man that nobody knew. Grandfather accepted the change of name with a feeling of satisfaction as its meaning fitted exactly the time of the baby's birth: dawn. Thereafter, the baby was both happy and healthy.

This is what my mother told me about my birth.

My mother told me that after grandfather Raden Mas Sumowardoyo took me to live in his house his spendthrift ways vanished just as the morning dew vanishes when touched by the rays of the rising sun. Because of this my grandmother came to really cherish me.

This abundance of love that my grandmother felt for me stirred up feelings of resentment among members of her immediate family. It should be understood that grandmother was not my father's true mother -- she had married grandfather Raden Mas Sumowardoyo after he had moved with his children to Kedungjati.

My grandmother was called Raden Nganten Sumirah and had come from the Buyaran district of Demak. When she married grandfather Raden Mas Sumowardoyo, she already had children -- among them a daughter named Partini who later married Raden Sujio, an employee of the Nederlands Indische Spoor Maatschapij railway company (N.I.S.), who later became the station master in Telawah, Surakarta.

Returning to the special love that Raden Nganten Sumirah felt for me: its strength was demonstrated when I was working for N.I.S. in Surabaya in 1917. Grandmother fell gravely ill, and she ordered a telegram be sent to me urging me to return immediately to Kedungjati to visit her. I arrived in Kedungjati and went straight to grandmother's house and performed sungkern to her. It seems she could no longer contain herself and in a burst of emotion she hugged me and, sobbing deeply, said, "Oh, Subuh, my grandson, you have come. I had to see you before I leave this world. I want to tell you something: after I pass away, always pray for me. Perhaps I will then receive God's mercy and be forgiven for the sins I have committed during my life in this world."

I was unable to speak, and could only bow my head. My grandmother went on, "In the cupboard I have kept a diamond ring, a gold watch chain and some other small things for you." Only then could I answer, "I am truly grateful for your gift, grandmother, but it is best if you keep these things and sell them if necessary to meet your own needs."

Such was grandmother's love for me, a love that came from her inner heart. Really, as a child I was greatly spoilt by my grandparents.

Let me explain that "grandfather" Raden Mas Sumowardoyo was in fact my great uncle -- the older brother of my true grandfather, Raden Mas Sumosuputra (Sutodirono). So my father was his nephew and not his real son. Even so, my father had been raised by grandfather Raden Mas Sumowardoyo since his childhood.

Turning now to my own story, I had quite a strange childhood. Every time I accompanied grandmother to a wedding, I would always comment on the compatibility of the bride and groom. My grandmother forbade me to make such comments, but in fact they turned out to be true. When I said that a couple was not suited it was not long before they were divorced. After a while grandmother realized my words were true, with the result that I was not allowed to go with my grandparents to any more weddings.

I also saw things that friends of my age were not able to see. There were times when I could not say certain words that had a bad meaning. I even experienced this in school -- my mouth froze up if I had to read out certain words, to the point that I was shouted at by my teacher. Furthermore, I sometimes uttered words that I did not understand.

As for my schooling: when I was small, there was no school in Kedungjati, so I had to go to Semarang to stay with one of grandmother's relatives who held a good position there. But before I could start at the Dutch school -- Europeesche Lagere School -- my grandmother came and took me back to Kedungjati because she could not bear to be parted from me. So for a while I did not go to school, even though I really wanted to. Fortunately, the son of one of grandfather's neighbors had just graduated from the Dutch school in Ambarawa and had returned to Kedungjati to his father's house. He worked at the Forestry Office and in the evenings he often gave lessons to the children of the village. So for a time I went to school at our neighbor's house.

About five or six months later, some other children of my age and I were sent by our parents to be schooled in Ambarawa. We left early each morning and returned in the evening by train. As Ambarawa did not have a Dutch school for native children we studied in a Dutch private school.

Two years later a government school was opened in Kedungjati. This was a primary school and lessons were given in the Malaysian and Javanese languages. With the permission of my parents, I was taken out of the private school in Ambarawa and was enrolled in this new school in Kcdungjati. I completed my primary schooling, but I then had to repeat part of my studies in Dutch at the newly-opened Holland Iulandsche School (H.I.S.) school in Ambarawa. I continued my studies there entirely in Dutch, because the teachers were Dutch.

Fortunately, mother's elder brother, Bapak Daslan Prawira-kusuma, who worked for N.I.S. in Semarang, had been transferred to Ambarawa. Therefore, I no longer had to travel to Ambarawa each day by train, but was able to stay with him.

In 1917, I received news from Kedungjati that grandfather Sumowardoyo, at the age of 80, had passed away. I was very shocked by this news as I had not heard anything about his illness. After the death of my grandfather, I no longer had the will to study. In my heart I just wished to start work and decided that after I had found employment I would then study whatever was necessary while working.

One night in Ambarawa, while I slept on the bare floor without a mattress, as if in a dream I was approached by an old man clothed in black. When he was close to me, the old man said,

"You will soon leave this place to work, but always remember that later you will receive a gift from Almighty God and will become someone who is revered."

At that instant I awoke and sat up wondering about the meaning of this inner counseling. After trying to work it out for a long time without success, I went back to sleep. The following day I woke with the dream still in my thoughts.

As a result of the dream, it was not long before I pushed myself to ask Bapak Prawirakusuma for permission to leave Ambarawa and return to Kedungjati. He agreed to my request.

I stayed for a time in Kedungjati, and then moved to Solo where I stayed with an uncle, Bapak Sastratioso, who also worked for N.I.S. I was unable to find work in Solo, but fortunately I did meet Bapak Reksodiharja who was the N.I.S. station master in Kalitidu near Bojonegoro. Bapak Reksodi-harja was the half-brother of my grandmother, and he was in Solo on business. He asked me whether I wanted to return with him to Kalitidu and work there on a trial basis. I answered that I would like that, and so we went to Kalitidu together.

In Kalitidu my training in the new job began. I was diligent and within a short time I understood the nature of the work there. While learning this job I continued to do prihatin in order to find permanent employment that would provide the means to meet the needs of my life.

One night I had a dream. In the dream I saw a line of soldiers marching past me, accompanied by a sabre-bearing officer who marched in step with the soldiers. Suddenly, the officer threw the sabre at me and I caught it deftly. I was so startled that I woke up. After a short while my heart became calm again so I lay down and slept. The next day I went to the station as usual to help Bapak Reksodiharja.

There were many people waiting for the arrival of the Cepu-Surabaya train that morning. As soon as it arrived there was a scramble as each passenger tried to get onto the train first. In the middle of the crowd of people trying to get on and off the train, a Dutchman carrying a briefcase stepped down from the first class carriage and headed straight for the station office. He looked at me as he passed, since I happened to be in his way. I felt nervous, because he looked as though he was a senior N.I.S. official come to check on Bapak Reksodiharja's work as the station master.

I was right; this Dutchman was all N.I.S. inspector. He was' responsible for inspecting the stations on the Gundi-Surabaya line. As soon as the train had pulled out of Kalitidu, he started his inspection of Bapak Reksodiharja's work.

After a short while, Bapak Reksodiharja called me in to meet the inspector. Apparently, having completed his inspection, he had asked about me. By now I was even more troubled; perhaps I was about to be reprim

anded for daring to be in the station office when I was not an N. I. S. employee.

I stood before the inspector. Then he asked me in Dutch, Did I want to work for N.I.S? I answered the inspector's question by saying, "I am ready and willing to carry out any work that you might give me, sir, and I would like to express my gratitude in advance for any such help that you might provide."

To cut a long story short, everything happened very quickly. A week later I received a confirmation of employment from the N.I.S. inspection office in Surabaya and was sent to work in Bojonegoro. I was then transferred to Semarang for training. When I knew enough, I was transferred back to Surabaya, where I stayed with Bapak Harjowijoyo, who was also an N. I. S. employee.

I had just turned 17 and was starting to enjoy working. My only disappointment was that I could not study book-keeping as I wished, because my duties at the station were sometimes from 4am until late afternoon, and sometimes from 8am until 8pm. So after a time I felt restless living in Surabaya.

Furthermore, a cholera epidemic broke out. As each day passed, more and more people fell ill and there were many deaths. A feeling of anxiety only strengthened my desire to leave Surabaya.

One of my friends noticed and understood my feelings; he suggested I go with him to visit an old man called Kiai Sapuangin so that I might obtain an inner strength with which to face this frightening situation. In the end I went along with my friend's suggestion and together we went to this man's home. A strange thing happened when we reached his house: he ran out and sat down before me, saying,

"Master, forgive your servant; I was obliged to preempt your will, but now that you are here, I will hand over everything to you."

I was taken aback; I had had no idea that something as strange as this would happen. My feelings were compounded by embarrassment, as many bystanders were watching. I answered by saying,

"Sir, I don't understand what you mean. It would be better for us to talk about this another time, as I have come simply to introduce myself. So please accept my sincere apologies as I must return to my work; I have been away too long."

The old man stood up and said,

"As you wish, master, but your servant hopes that you will come again to this servant's house."

I left in a hurry, accompanied by my friend. As we walked together, he asked,

"Who are you really? Are you the son of someone of high rank, like a prince? Kiai Sapuangin called you 'master' when he has never been known to call anyone that."

I answered my friend's questioning by saying,

"I have no idea why the old man called me master; I am just an ordinary person as you know. So let's not prolong this discussion, let's talk about something else so that we reach home quickly and can rest."

As the days went by I became increasingly restless in Sura-baya, so in October 1918 I resigned from my job and went home to Kedungjati.

I recuperated in Kedungjati until I felt at peace once again and my body had regained its health. Then I left for Semarang to seek work. Fortunately, I found work straight away in a trading office. I even earned a higher salary than that I had earned in Surabaya.

In Semarang I stayed for a short time with relations who had lived there for many years. I then moved to Mlaten Tiangwi district, and then to the Sompok district. Once I was settled in a rented house in Sompok and felt capable of supporting my parents and younger brother and sister, who were still in Kedungjati, I brought them all to Sompok. It was my wish to live with my parents, my brother and my sister. I made many friends in Sompok, among them a young man who was Catholic by religion. We met often and became very close.

One day he asked to read my palms. I refused at first because I was not keen to have my life foretold. Nevertheless, he really wanted to see them as he said that he had seen unusual signs in me. So, smiling, I stretched out my palms to be read. He studied the lines and the fingers of both hands closely. Then nodding his head, he said,

"You can accept this or not: based on my reading you are the reincarnation of the saviour Wisnu Murti. It is he who can bring peace and calm to the heart of someone who is in confusion, and it is he who call guide someone to a direction that is right and useful for their life."

Immediately, I responded, smiling, "Oh, really! I am just an ordinary person; how could that be so?" But my friend kept to his story, "Look, I don't fool around or say things that are not true." I hastily changed the subject, and we talked far into the night.

After this discussion, my heart was stirred up and remembered the inner guidance given to me by the man in black in the dream so long ago.

Now, one of my colleagues from the office, Kadarusman Edhikusuma, happened to be, as he said himself, fond of studying mysticism. Consequently, I would often visit his home in Petelan Rejosari to talk with him far into the night. By nature I had a strong affinity for such matters, so my friendship with Kadarusman Edhikusuma became closer and closer, and even after I changed jobs and moved to the City Hall we remained close.

My move from the trading office to Semarang City Hall took place on January 1st, 1920. I held a position there in the bookkeeping department. At last I had an opportunity to fulfil my wish to study book-keeping.

Although I started to study book-keeping, I still preferred learning about spiritual ways leading to the perfection of life, so I tended to put that first and kept up my close relationship with Kadarusman Edhikusuma.

In 1921, through a friend at work, I was introduced to a spiritual movement called Setia Haft, SH for short, which was based on the martial art pencak silat. I was strongly interested in this group, and so I joined it. Well, that's the way it was: I was still young and while the movement practiced was a martial art, I felt it necessary to be able to defend myself and to fend off an attack at any time. However, by the grace of Almighty God, I have never had to fight in my life.

In 1922, I moved to a house in the Pandcan Lamper district of Semarang, though I was still renting. I needed to be closer to my office, as well as to Kadarusman Edhikusuma's house. After I had moved to Pandean Lamper my father fell ill, and died soon after. He was buried in the Sompok cemetery near Pandean Lamper.

At the beginning of 1923, a friend from the office, Saclan Sastroatmaja, invited me to be introduced to Sunariodigdo, the senior member of his spiritual movement who lived in the village of Mertojayan. Sunariodigdo accepted me as a student of Kiai Dcmang Poncokartoko. This man was said to be the spiritual guide of Kanjeng Gusti Pangoran Adipati Anom Mangkuncgara the Fifth, the Sultan of Surakarta.

I was not initiated by Kiai Dcmang Poncokartoko himself but by Sunariodigdo who was his most senior follower. In a short space of time I had experiences that are normally only encountered by a follower after a long time. For example, one night when I was meditating, I felt as though I was under the sea where I saw a small child approach me. I asked Sunario-digdo about this experience. He told me that this was a good experience, in fact this was precisely thc sort of experience that the other followers of this teaching were all hoping for.

And so it went on: almost every time I meditated I would have a strange experience. Once I met with a manifestation of a man that was as big as a mountain. Whenever I asked my senior brother about the meaning of these experiences, he said that I would get the answer later from the beings themselves.

One night, at a meeting of all the followers of the Poncokar-takan movement, Sunariodigdo announced that brother Muhammad Subuh would soon leave the movement. I said nothing and just stayed quiet. In fact, what he said was true and I did leave the movement shortly afterwards.

I started visiting my friend Kadarusman again. One night, I was at his house when his spiritual teacher from the village of Bedodo near Demak arrived. According to Kadarusman, this guide was a descendant of an astrologer from the time of Sultan Bintoro of Demak and he could foretell the future. We had just been introduced to each other that night but, even so, I stayed on with them until late into the night.

About a week later, my friend Saelan Sastroatmaja and I set out to travel to Bedodo, in the Buyaran district near Demak, the village where this teacher lived. We left Semarang on Saturday at 3pm and arrived in Bedodo at about 9pm. Kada-rusman had told me that the name of the kiai was Kiai Saman, so it was a simple matter to locate his house. Fortunately for us he was at home and he greeted our arrival warmly. He asked us what we had come for, to which we replied that the main purpose of our visit was to ask to be accepted as his students. We would leave it to the kiai as to what he would teach us, as he would surely know our true states.

Kiai Saman smiled and smiled and then he said,

"In truth, Raden, you don't need to study with me. What you are looking for is already within your being and you just have to wait until the right time comes."

I repeated my request, "I believe what you say, Kiai, but as we are already here, we will hold in the highest regard and will truly observe whatever you care to pass on to us by way of advice."

Kiai Saman was quiet for a moment as if he was meditating, then he stood up and asked that we stand to the east facing west while he stood to the west facing east, so that we would be facing each other. We promptly stood up and did as he asked. When we were both facing the kiai, he whispered something to me very softly. He returned to his original position and repeated this. Then it was Sadan Sastroatmaja's turn.

After this, we sat outside on a large bamboo platform -- this is all there is to sit on in the villages. While we sat together and sipped hot coffee, the kiai gave us some advice to the effect that we should truly perform our duties in this life, both our outer duties and our inner or spiritual duties. In this way our life in this world would be ordered and would prosper, and in the next world we would find the right path as decreed by Almighty God. "Within his inner being," said the kiai, "man can find everything he needs for his life; man needs only to carry it out with perseverance and faith."

This was the kiai's advice. Then we stretched out on the platform and slept. The following day, after we had been led in communal prayer by the kiai, we left his house for Buyaran station, where we caught the morning Demak-Semarang train. This then was our meeting with Kiai Saman -- teacher in the perfection of life.

After nearly a month had passed we returned to see Kiai Saman again. But this second meeting did not result in anything other than my being given further advice. This advice was merely that I should not neglect my worship of Almighty God. The kiai went on to say that it was not his place to teach me anything, because, according to his inner vision, I had appeared far above him and had had a brilliant halo.

These were the words of Kiai Saman an old man of 80, reserved and wise. The following day we took our leave and returned to Semarang. After we arrived in Scmarang, I heard news that as soon as we had departed, the teiai had left his house and headed for the graveyard in Kadilangu, Demak, where he had died. He was buried there next to his teacher.

In 1925, I was encouraged by my friends Kadarusman and Munandar to become a follower of a spiritual teacher from Cirebon who was, according to them, a teacher of the perfect life. Kadarusman had approached this teacher, so he gave his guidance in Kadarusman's house. To my regret, only Kada-rusman and Munandar were allowed to listen to his advice; I was told that I had to wait for the right time. After three months had passed, thc teacher told Kadarusman that I was not allowed to become his student, as he had seen me in his inner vision as Bima radiant in the sky.

Later in 1925, I was invited by these friends to seek out a teacher who lived on the slopes of Mt Kendalisodo. It was the last day of the Ramadhan fast. We left Semarang at 8am on the bus travelling to Yogyakarta. When we reached a point where we saw a small road leading to Mt Kendalisodo, we stopped the bus and continued our journey on foot.

The road came to an end at a village that lay on the mountainside. There Kadarusman asked everyone, "Is there an old man or a teacher living in this area called Kiai Sidik Wacoho?" But he always got the same reply, that nobody knew. We were all determined to go on; we were sure we would find him in the end.

Then we arrived at a wide, open area of uncultivated land where we met a short, fat old man. This man smiled as he approached us and asked, "What brings you to this area, brothers?"

Kadarusman explained that we were seeking a teacher called Kiai Sidik Wacono, who was said to live on the slopes of Mt Kendalisodo. The old man spoke again, "Indeed there is such a teacher, but he lives further on, another two thousand paces from here."

The man pointed with his forefinger as he spoke. He then added,

"Kiai Sidik Wacono is a clairvoyant. He is much older than I am: when I was still a child, he looked as old then as he does now. Maybe he is a hundred years old or more. Even so, he is still strong, stronger than I am. Kiai Sidik Wacono's gift is that he can read the true nature of anyone who comes to his house. For instance, if his visitor is of noble birth, he will treat him as a nobleman should be treated; if his visitor is a kiai, then he will treat him as a kiai should be treated; if his visitor is a mystic he will treat him in the way a mystic should be treated, and so on. So pay special attention to the manner in which the kiai greets you and receives you."

Kadarusman then said,

"Very well; we thank you for your advice, Kiai." Then we left him. Curiously enough, when we looked back and the old man had vanished, even though less than a minute had passed since we had left him. So we continued while speculating, "Maybe the old man was an angel or a messenger from Kiai Sidik Wacono."

This was how we continued our journey towards the village indicated by the man. Finally we reached it. We were startled to see an old man approaching us with his hands extended in greeting. Together we entered his house which was in the shape of a joglo. While walking, the old man said, "Brothers, I have waited for you for seventy years. Come and sit down; sit where you like."

The kiai's words surprised me greatly, as I was only 24 at the time. Then, after we were seated in chairs, a servant came out carrying cups that were much bigger than normal cups and rice cakes that were much bigger than normal rice cakes.

I was truly astonished that here in the remote house of a kiai far from any town, we could be served such a variety of food, and on such fine china. Then I remembered the words of the old man whom we had met on the open land, so I decided to remain silent and just observe. Soon our host came and said, "Come, let us eat this simple offering."

First I took off the lid of the cup that was in front of me. I hesitated for an instant as this huge cup was completely full, and I felt that this was perhaps a sign that our visit to this place would result in something truly satisfying. It seemed that Kadarusman and Munandar were thinking along the same lines.

Now, as it was the eve of idulfitri many people started to arrive, men and women both old and young. All the visitors conveyed the idulfitri greetings to the kiai, and the kiai returned the greetings and then asked each of them to greet the three of us. We raised our hands to greet them and as they greeted us, the kiai insisted on adding that he had waited 70 years for the three of us to come. They looked surprised when they heard this, the more so when they saw how young I was. I was embarrassed as they kept staring at me.

Finally the idulfitri visitors left, and we started to talk. But it was not long before we were invited to dine with the kiai. I felt that this evening meal also was overly generous. After supper we asked for guidance and direction for our lives that we might attain perfection. However, he answered that the three of us already had sufficient provision in this regard. Then he just went on to tell us of men in the past who had received revelations from Almighty God. He added that we would certainly find what we were looking for, if we always acted patiently, and surrendered with acceptance and true sincerity to Almighty God.

The following day, we took our leave to return to Semarang. The kiai accompanied us beyond the gate of his house. Strange: on the way back we found a road that led us straight to the main road. After sitting by the side of the road for a short time we caught the bus coming from Salatiga and heading for Semarang.

This then was the state of my life when I had just turned 24.

Once again in 1925, Munandar invited me to go to Jatirogo to study under Kiai Abdurachman. I agreed to this and went with him to Jatirogo. I received some advice from Kiai Abdurach-man, but not much. It is said that Kiai Abdurachman had received his teaching from Wali Sunan Ampel of Surabayall. He could recite the Koran and other sacred texts from memory, and had spent many years travelling and studying Islam.

During these years, even though my interest in spiritual matters was so keen, I kept up my studies in worldly matters; that is, I carried on studying book-keeping, as this knowledge was very necessary for my daily work.

On a night that I normally kept free for studying and did not host my fellow seekers, I shut my textbooks and went for a walk. Oil the way back home I passed along Kalisari Street, which leads to the Candi district. It was about lam when, just in front of the new public hospital that was under construction, I was startled by a light shining from above. I looked up to see a ball of radiant white light fall onto my head. My body started shaking; my chest was heaving. I feared I would collapse in the street. I quickened my pace to get home as quickly as possible. But on reaching the house, the shaking stopped and my chest was calm. I knocked on the door, which was immediately opened by my mother, who asked, "Why do you look so pale?" to which I responded, briefly, "It's nothing!"

I went directly to my room and stretched out on my bed. I folded my arms over my chest and surrendered to Almighty God. Amazing: I saw my whole being filled with light. This lasted for just half a minute. Then I arose, but not from my own will, and went to the room that I used for prayer and study. There I stood and performed two raka'ats of prayer. After finishing the prayer, I returned and lay down again on my bed and fell asleep.

From then on I was woken almost every night and made to move. The nature of these movements always changed. At times I was moved in the movement of the martial arts. I was already an expert in pencak-silat but I experienced more and more new movements each time. Apart from this, I was also made to dance, so that I came to feel truly expert in dancing. It did not stop there; my voice was trained too until I learnt new tunes and my voice sounded very melodious.

These experiences continued. Almost every night when I wished to sleep, my eyes were like doors about to open, and once they opened I saw a view of such distance and breadth it was as though I could see to the end of this world. When in this state I was afraid to sleep, so sometimes I would force myself to eat a lot so that this vision would cease and I could fall asleep.

I did not tell my friends about these events as I had the feeling that it was not yet the time.

Once again in 1925, I repeated my journey to Jatirogo. I had been asked to come by one of my friends because he was ill. But this trip was not like any other, because during the journey I was afflicted by a great inner disturbance. From where I sat in the railway carriage I could see a young girl sitting rather far from me. The moment I saw her, though I didn't know why, there arose a tremendous feeling of love for her from within my being. This was truly a great disturbance, and all the while I sat there my feelings and thoughts were constantly directed towards this girl, causing her to stand up from time to time to adjust her teain, which was being blown about by the wind.

Then quite unexpectedly, when the train stopped at Pamotan station, the girl, the focus of my attention, got off. Taken by complete surprise, I leapt off after her. But my desire to follow her was frustrated, for as soon as she got off the train, she climbed into a horse-drawn carriage that I guessed must have been waiting to meet her. The departure of the carriage left me dismayed and rooted to the spot and I was almost left behind by the train that was going on to Jatirogo.

I arrived in Jatirogo and met my friend, but the longing in my heart for the girl would not go away. Even so, I forced myself to go on and visit the house of Kiai Abdurachman.

Early the following day, I left Jatirogo on the first train. Just after 8am we arrived in Pamotan where I got off, as I had only bought a ticket from Jatirogo to pamotan. In Pamotan, I searched for the girl on the chance that I would see her out for a walk or shopping in the market. Unfortunately, even after going back and forth in that little town for many hours, I could find not find her.

Finally, I went back to the station and drank some hot coffee at the small restaurant there. While drinking my coffee and eating rice cakes, I asked the vendor whether he knew the girl who had got off the train the day before and had left in a horse-drawn carriage. By great fortune, the coffee vendor knew who she was. As soon as I had obtained clear information from him, I bought a ticket to Semarang.

Shortly after returning to Semarang I called on my friend Sadan Sastroatmaja who was originally from Rembang. I told him of my experience when my eyes had set upon the girl who was riding in the same carriage during the journey to Jatirogo. I told him too about what I had learnt from tile coffee vendor in the station restaurant.

Then Saelan's wife said, "If indeed what the coffee vendor told you is true, then the girl is the daughter of the younger brother of the penghulu of Pamotan, and she is still at school in Rembang where she lives with her uncle, the penghulu of Rembang. So she probably went to Pamotan to visit her parents."

This was what Ibu Sastroatmaja had to say on the matter, and then I made up my mind: if Saelan had no objection, I would go to Rembang with him to confirm this story.

So when the opportunity arose a few days later, Sadan and I went to Rembang to introduce ourselves to the penghulu of Rembang. My visit was anticipated, as Ibu Sastroatmaja was the sister-in-law of the penghulu's wife.

Shortly after arriving at the penghulu's house, refreshments were served by a young girl. I was surprised but satisfied as, indeed, the girl who served the refreshments was the girl I sought. When we got back to Semarang I asked the permission of my mother that, at an opportune time, she would accompany me to Rembang to ask for the girl's hand in marriage.

In short, my proposal to Rumindah was accepted and our wedding took place 10 months later on October 9th, 1926.

From that moment on, my family life was complete. After my marriage, a time of good fortune came, in that I started an additional job as a book-keeper, a job that I could perform after work at the City Hall. This second job gave me a good income, so that the household needs were amply met. I was also able to build a good-sized stone house.

Such was my life at this time that I became much less active in spiritual matters. Moreover, whenever Kiai Abdurachman came to Semarang and I met him to ask for additional advice, he always replied that what I had received was sufficient, and that I would receive anything further directly from the Messenger of God.

The kiai's words did not encourage me; on the contrary I felt confused, as I did not understand how such a thing could happen. So I decided that I would no longer see Kiai Abdurach-man if he came to Semarang.

After a time I was so engrossed in studying book-keeping that I no longer paid any attention to news of Kiai Abdurach-man's visits.

Then one night in 1928 at around midnight, I was startled by a knock on the door; fortunately I was still up. When I opened the door, a fellow seeker, Raden Sudarmo Hadiprojo, rushed in and grabbed my hand and kissed it passionately. I was very surprised, so I asked him to sit down and calm himself. Only after he was seated and had calmed down could he explain that he had run to my house and knocked on the door because he had been sitting with other students of Kiai Abdurachman, waiting for his turn to meet and receive guidance from the kiai, when he had been startled to see a brilliant light fall from the sky directly onto my house.

That was his story, after which he asked "Is this not the wahyu sent to you from Almighty God?" I answered, "I do not know, dear friend. These matters are up to God; we as men can only follow His will."

Apparently though, Raden Sudarmo Hadiprojo was convinced that I had received a revelation. He then excused himself saying, "Dear brother, I ask nothing more than that you willingly guide me."

In the days that followed as well as later, after Kiai Abdurach-man had left Semarang, my house was visited by his followers almost every night. I regarded these visits simply as visits by my fellow followers even though, through meeting me, they came into contact with the movement of the life force that I received and followed.

During 1932, apart from answering the questions of my fellow followers, I was continually receiving and following the movement of my inner self, which I later called the latihan kejiwaan. I set out below some of my experiences at this time which I feel I need to relate:

One night, while I was in a state of latihan kejiwaan, there suddenly appeared before me a vast sea with huge waves. Exactly in front of me I saw a dam with a sluice gate that pointed to my mouth. At that instant I moved forward, the sluice gate opened, and the water rushed into my open mouth. In a few moments the vast sea was gone and I burped - a sign of being full. The odd thing was that I could smell sea water.

On another night, I experienced something very different from the above. I was still standing, having just finished receiving my latihan kejiwaan, when suddenly a robed man approached me. He carried a spear which he thrust into the center of my chest. Even though I was not in a normal state as in everyday life, the blow was very painful. After a moment, he withdrew the spear and I saw that stuck to its point was a small clot of blood, which he threw away. He then felt in the pocket of his robe and pulled out a radiant object. He put this object into the spear wound and wiped the wound. Then he left. It was strange that although I was not in a normal state as in our outer life, the blow from the spear had been extremely painful and, after the radiant object was placed within me, I felt a wonderful freshness spread through my whole body.

In fact I had many experiences of a spiritual nature, but I do not feel it necessary to explain all these here, as otherwise it will only serve to make my children and grandchildren who are reading this feel bored. I will just relate that which I feel is important and unusual.

On another night, some time after this last experience, having received and followed the process of the latihan kejiwaan, I was sitting performing zikir. Suddenly, I received a large book as big as an atlas. I opened the book and on the first page there was a robed figure, under which was a caption in Arabic. Before I was able to finish reading it, the letters changed into Latin characters and formed the words:

Prophet Muhammad, Messenger of God.

Strange: as I read these words, the robed figure nodded his head and smiled approvingly. Understandably, I was amazed as, for as long as I had lived, I had never seen a picture that could move and smile. I wanted to show this book to my wife straight away, but I held back; I would wait until the next day.

I then turned to the second page. On this page was a picture of many people of different colors and races. I looked at this for some time, then the people came to life and moved, each following his own rhythm. I turned to the third page; there was another picture similar to that on the second page. The people here were alive and moved, and they also spoke; some prayed, some cried and begged forgiveness from Almighty God for all their sins. This added to my amazement at the book's contents, so I closed it and hugged it tightly to my chest saying,

"Praise be to Almighty God for His generosity."

But then to my dismay, the book vanished, leaving only a slight feeling of heaviness in my chest, before this too vanished. This was the experience I received.

Some time later there came another experience on a night after I had followed the latihan kejiwaan. I was sitting performing zakeir as usual when, suddenly, there was another book in my lap. This book looked like a dictionary. It was very thick indeed, but when I opened it, although there were many pages they were all blank. I kept asking myself, "What is the reason for so many pages with no writing on them?"

Before I could blink, writing appeared on the first page which said,

"This book will only be written in if a question is asked."

I was completely taken aback, as I had had no idea that this was going to happen. Then, with a feeling of surrender to the greatness of Almighty God, I braved myself to ask the following question,

"What was the purpose and use of the book that I received before, and what will happen to me in the years to come?"

This was answered,

"The illustrations in that book were to show you that it will be your duty to awaken those people who wish to repent of all their sins before Almighty God and who wish to surrender to Almighty God with a feeling of patience, submission and acceptance."

I then asked some more questions. Among the answers I received, it was explained that a great war would break out after which Java and the other islands occupied by the Dutch would be free.

"Once they are free, it will be your duty to travel the world to spread the latihan kejiwaan that you have received and followed."

Reading this did not make me feel pleased and joyful. On the contrary, I felt totally powerless, and I turned to Almighty God and wept with remorse, because at that instant I felt the weight of the charge that I was to carry out. Moreover, I questioned how I could possibly do this as I was ignorant, poor and devoid of knowledge.

With great astonishment I saw the following written on the page of the book:

"You must have faith in this revelation. Almighty God has power in all things and He is the creator of the universe and all that is within it."

Then the book vanished from my lap just as the other book had done.

After this experience, my inner self, my heart and my mind could not stop thinking about it. I took stock: I was very simple, I had no knowledge, I was poor and had low status in the society of man. But through the grace of Almighty God, as the days turned to weeks and the weeks turned to months, I came to feel that I should simply follow the will of Almighty God.

In the years prior to 1932, I had served my fellow followers of Kiai Abdurachman as well as the followers of other schools, with the result that they still considered me to be one of them. In fact I would often answer questions from the followers of Kiai Abdurachman as well as from the followers of Kiai Saman Bedodo and of other teachers. They knew about me from their kiai or their teachers. At this time, I did not open them as I felt I was still too inexperienced and, according to my receiving, it was not the time yet to open other people. This is how it was before 1932.

Then in 1932, on one of the nights when it was usual for a large number of followers of other schools to gather in my house in Bergota Kalisari, Semarang, an extraordinary event took place above my house. The sky, which only a few moments before had been completely clear and bright with the waxing moon, was suddenly overcast with thick clouds spiralling far above my house. Then a light descended, formed in the shape of a dazzlingly radiant payung agung. In an instant the light disappeared, and a violent rainstorm followed. Those who were gathered in my house gave thanks to Almighty God and asked for His protection.

The following day we heard news of a landslide of a part of Mt Telomoyo, near Ungaran, that had been damming a lake; the landslide had caused mud flows to cover many villages in the area. This was followed by an eruption of Mt Merapi, causing hot lava flows to engulf many villages in that area.

There later ensued a discussion among the followers of Jatirogo who had witnessed this event. As they saw it, although what they called God's revelation had descended on Muhammad Subuh's house, they had also been present and witnessed it, so they felt that at least some of them must have received some portion of the revelation. This was shown to be true after Wignyosupartono left Semarang and moved to Yogyakarta; there he was truly able to open people. He called his movement Kasunyatan and his followers grew by the day. Then later on one of his followers split off and set up his own movement called Sumarah.

From 1932 onwards I chose to stop working so that I could be truly diligent in the latihan kejiwaan which constantly changed in form and type of movement every night. Through this, my inner feeling and my heart became calmer and more surrendered to the greatness and power of Almighty God.

It seems that this was necessary for me. The proof came one night when after receiving and following my latihan kejiwaan I felt extremely sleepy. Yet wherever I sat I was uncomfortable, so I became unsettled and confused. Then I realized that the time had come for me to carry out something that was willed by Almighty God, so I went to my room and lay down, surrendering to the Power of Almighty God.

At once I felt myself lengthen, widen and expand into a sphere and I felt myself suddenly released from some great object, like a jewel being freed from its setting. I then found myself in a great space. Far before me was a group of stars like diamonds in an earring. I asked myself what this was, and received the reply that what I saw was the universe that I had left. I assumed that I was dead, so I kept saying, "Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar"-- God is Almighty, God is Almighty, God is Almighty.

Then with great speed I traveled across a huge expanse. Before me I could see mountain-like cones of light, seven of them, stacked one above the other, and each connected by a cord of brilliant white light. I approached the first cone and entered it. Within could be seen a vast panorama, much greater than that I had seen before.

There I saw Almighty God's creatures clad in white and praising the majesty and greatness of Almighty God.

I looked up and saw a dazzling light. Before me, I saw a line of ladies of great beauty wearing clothes of light. They bowed their heads low before me while they sang and danced. I asked them what they wanted from me. They replied that they were my wives.

I was astounded. I thought to myself in amazement, "It is impossible that I could have wives of such beauty and radiance.'' Apparently they understood my confusion, and one by one they opened their clothes of light and revealed their breasts.

I was taken aback for a second time, as below their breasts were written the words: Muhammad Subuh.

It seems I was not permitted to stay too long as I was transported again and found myself entering the second mountain from below, then I went up and up until I reached the sixth mountain where I felt completely powerless.

In this state of utter weakness I felt myself saying, "Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar". Only then did I enter the seventh cone. There I had no direction and no purpose other than to say, "Allah, Allah, Allah". But from there I could see anything and everything that was very distant, including the world that I had left.

Then I felt something, which I understood to be a key, penetrate the palm of my hand.

I was moved from there with extraordinary speed and suddenly found myself in surroundings where I felt as though I had returned to normal.

From there I could see stars twinkling far below me. I was startled for an instant when I realized that they were not stars but the lights of Semarang.

A moment later I was above my house in Bergota Kalisari, Semarang. As I was more used to walking with my feet and feeling with my fingers, I tried to open the roof tiles, but instead I found myself in the room that I used for prayer and for receiving the latihan kejiwaan. There I stood next to the clock on the wall. The time was 4.25am. I went straight to my bedroom, where I saw myself lying with my hands folded over my chest. On my forehead was a round object as large as a hen's egg, which was shining like the Eastern Star. Carefully I approached it and kissed it, and at that instant the one who was kissed and I who kissed awoke from sleep.

After a few moments, I got up and walked slowly to the room with the clock. The time was 4.30am. I performed my ablutions and carried out the dawn prayers.

After the dawn prayers, I was performing zikir when my mother came to me. I heard her whisper, "What is this? I can smell something fragrant." Then she added, "I must tell you about something that happened last night." I replied, "Mother, it's best that you finish your prayers first and then tell me about your experience." After doing so, she came and related her experience to me: "In the early hours of the morning, I woke up to go to the toilet, but I changed my mind because I saw lots of electric light bulbs in my room. Then when I looked carefully at these lights, I saw that they were not lights at all but stars shining in the sky, and I felt that I myself was in the sky. I felt scared, so I immediately lay down again and went back to sleep. But now I want to ask you, what docs all this mean?"

I told my mother that everything she had experienced was good because it corresponded with that which I had just experienced.

It was after this experience that I started to open people who wished to receive the latihan kejiwaan that I had received and followed.

By this time I had four children:

Siti Rahayu, born on Tuesday Kliwon, the 21st day of the fasting month in the year 1858, the year of Jimmakir- or March 13th, 1928, at 5am in Bergota Kalisari, Semarang.

Haryono, born on Wednesday Levi, the 24th day of Apit, 1860 -- or April 23rd, 1930 in Bergota Kalisari, Semarang.

Haryadi, born on Monday Legi, the 27th day of Jumadilakir, the year of Je, 1862 -- or November 8, 1931 at 8.05pm in Bergota Kalisari, Semarang.

Suharyo, born on Monday Pon, the 23rd day of Apit, 1863, the year of Dhal -- or March 20th, 1933 at 5.30am in Bergota Kalisari, Semarang.

At the beginning of 1935, my family lived for a while in Pamotan Rembang at the request of my parents-in-law, after which we returned to Semarang.

Later in 1935, my fourth child Suharyo fell ill and died in Semarang. He was buried in Bergota Cemetery, Semarang. In the same year we moved to Bogor, and there my fifth child, Siti Hardiyati, was born on Friday Kliwon, the third day of Bakda Mulud, 1866 -- or July 5th, 1935 at 8.56pm in Gang Buntu, Bogor.

In Bogor, my wife and I opened Mas Muntahir and his wife. As it happened, when we arrived in Bogor, Mas Muntahir was suffering from a lung infection which was not yet serious. Through the latihan kejiwaan, the suffering from this illness decreased and it looked as though he would be cured. After two months, Mas Muntahir felt that he was completely healthy.

I should explain here that when Mas Muntahir was opened, he experienced an inner shock. If this happens in the latihan kejiwaan it is known as purification. During this period, Mas Muntahir was completely lacking in self-control. However, this only lasted for two months, which was fortunate, so Mas Muntahir's condition did not cause other people to become frightened and wary. Normally, people who experience this are thought to have lost their senses. For this reason, it is very important for those who follow the latihan kejiwaan to always have a feeling of patience, acceptance, and complete surrender to the power of Almighty God.

This inward purification experienced by Mas Muntahir was also experienced by his wife a few months later, but only for a short time.

After the occurrence of these events in Mas Muntahir's family, his friends and colleagues from the forestry department came in crowds, all wishing to be opened. Perhaps they understood that the latihan kejiwaan that Mas Muntahir's family had experienced would be very beneficial for them.

I naturally complied with their wish to be opened so, as each day passed, more and more people were following the latihan kejiwaan at Mas Muntahir's home. Despite this, the time had not yet come for the latihan kejiwaan to spread smoothly and although we stayed in Bogor for 18 months, the latihan kejiwaan was not well grounded. Consequently we returned to Semarang to live in my house in Bergota Kalisari.

In 1936, after returning from Bogor, a wish arose in me to sell my house and move to Wonosobo, where I wanted to buy a house, some land and paddy fields and become a farmer. So I put my house on the market. Unfortunately, no-one came forward to buy it for a long time. If there was a buyer, they always lost interest because of difficulties -- for example, their car broke down, or they fell ill on the way before they could see my house.

Eventually something happened that I considered odd. One day I was to be visited by a sayid who was supposed to buy my house. I was very pleased at the prospect, and set about cleaning the areas of the house which were untidy. When the sayid arrived, I invited him in and to be seated. Instead of asking about the price of the house he just kept staring at me. Then he said, "I am really sorry sir, but having come here I have to change my mind about buying your house. I see omens that do not bode well for me if I carry out my intention."

I felt compelled to ask the sayid what had caused him to change his mind so suddenly. He replied that he had seen a divine light about my person, which meant that I was someone who was noble.

I was very surprised so I asked, "Forgive me, habib, but I am a just an ordinary person and I really need the money to buy some land in Wonosobo. I am going to work there as a farmer and carry out my worship of Almighty God in peace."

"That's fine!" said the habib, "but I will not buy this house from you at any price. As for your situation, sir, if I may say so, you need not worry. In the end you will find the true and noble course for your life." Then he took his leave. So my house in Bergota Kalisari was never sold and my family and I had to continue living in Semarang.

In 1936, Rumindah fell ill and was taken to Pamotan by her parents. I went with her, taking my youngest child Hardiyati. Meanwhile, Siti Rahayu, Haryono and Haryadi stayed in the house in Semarang with their grandmother. It turned out that my wife's illness was very difficult to cure and she died a short time later. She was buried in Pamotan.

I returned to Semarang, but had to leave Hardiyati, as her grandmother, my mother-in-law, wanted to look after her and raise her.

In 1937, I journeyed to Surabaya at the invitation of Mangun-sudarso, who was a headmaster and a senior in the Kiai Abdurachman movement inJatirogo.

Mangunsudarso had invited me because, he said, without my mediation he would never attain the ultimate goal of the knowledge that he had obtained from Kiai Abdurachman of Jatirogo. So, on arriving in Surabaya I opened him and he followed the latihan kejiwaan.

I did not stay in Surabaya long, but even so there were many people who wanted to follow the latihan kejiwaan.

Shortly after returning to Semarang, I traveled to Yogyakarta, and there I opened many new members, among them Raden Mas Wiryodirjo, Kanjeng Raden Tumenggung Dirjodi-ningrat and Raden Ngaten Wignyopustoko.

I opened people in Solo (Surakarta) too, including Raden Mas Ismangun, Raden Singgih, an employee of the Carl Schliper nickel shop, but this was before going to Surabaya.

I was in Yogyakarta for only a short time before returning to Semarang to continue opening members and accompany their latihan kejiwaan.

The spread of the latihan kejiwaan in Semarang was slow. Perhaps this was just the way of the latihan kejiwaan at that time. This had in fact been foretold in the empty book that I had received. The book had explained that the spread of the latihan kejiwaan would only go well when, through the grace of Almighty God, I could travel abroad. So although its spread was slow, I felt neither troubled nor disappointed.

While waiting for better times, I went into business in a small way, so that the income from this enterprise would cover my family's needs. I now lived with my mother and the three children, as well as my brother and sister. I am thankful to Almighty God that my family was always in a state of well-being and good fortune.

I was now a widower, and it was often the case that people would come to me to ask about improving their fate in life. Among them was a lady called Siti Sumari, the widow of a construction supervisor. She asked what work she should carry out so as to be able to provide for herself and her two children. I answered that in her case there was no work that was appropriate other than to receive income from a husband; in other words, she should marry again.

Apparently my response touched a chord and she became concerned. I added, "Since being widowed, have you ever experienced anything while doing prihatin?" She appeared surprised and replied,

"Yes -- when I met with a learned man called Dr Raden Mas Sosrokartono. He told me, 'Go home to your birthplace, Temanggung. You need not feel troubled; good fortune is close by. You are a kiai, and you must marry a kiai, and in fact you will find a kiai who is both noble and fine.' This was the doctor's advice to me, so after paying my respects to him I prepared myself to return to my birthplace, Temanggung.

A few days after returning home, I came to Semarang to visit my older brother Raden Yasin, as it has been a long time since I have seen him. At midnight on the night after I arrived at Mas Yasin's house, Mas Yasin's wife saw brilliant lights fall from the sky. One fell on me and the other fell on my child Warnafl as we slept. Straight away, sister Yasin woke me up and told me what she had experienced. After that we could not sleep until morning.

"Now as it happens, my brother's house is close to Raden Suwarno's house, an employee of the S.J.S. railway company. Raden Suwarno told me that he is in the same movement as, and a student of, Raden Mas Muhammad Subuh Sumohadiwidjojo who lives in Bergota Kalisari. So that evening after Suwarno had returned from the office, sister Yasin and I went to see him and told him what had happened. Spontaneously, Raden Suwarno replied, 'The best thing for you ladies to do would be to ask Muhammad Subuh, who happens to be my teacher. Perhaps he will be able to explain to you the meaning of these experiences.' This was what Suwarno advised, and as a result I am here today, to ask for your advice, Kiai."

I was quiet for a moment, then with a smile I said to her, "Your sister's experience and the reply you were given by Raden Mas Sosrokartono, are good signs. Go home now, and later, Suwarno, whom you have met, will explain further."

A short time later I asked Suwarno to go to where Siti Sumari was staying. Then on the appointed day, I went to Siti Sumari's brother's house to discuss my proposal of marriage to Siti Sumari. The following day, I journeyed with Mas Yasin to Temanggung to ask Siti Sumari's mother, Raden Nganten Puspowirono, for Siti Sumari's hand in marriage -- her father had passed away many years before.

In short, my proposal was accepted, and we were married on November 15th, 1941, with Mas Raden Yasin as a witness. After my marriage to Siti Sumari, my family life was complete again. We lived simply but always felt at peace and calm, so I was able to be diligent in the latihan kejiwaan that I had received through the grace of Almighty God.

My marriage to Siti Sumari meant the addition of her two children to my family: a girl called Warnati and a boy called Warnoto.

The war started in Europe before 1941, but it only spread to Indonesia after 1941. When war came, Indonesia was in chaos, which worsened after the occupation by the Japanese. As a result, I was forced to stop opening people, and also had to stop the latihan kejiwaan for those who had already been opened. While waiting for better times, I conducted business in a small way and, through Almighty God's grace, was able to look after the needs of my family.

As 1944 approached, the situation in West Semarang --Bergota Kalisari and the surrounding areas -- became very dangerous, so with my wife and children I left Kalisari and set out for Kedu, passing through the still wild areas of Mt Pati and so on. These wild parts were dangerous, as many bandits attacked and robbed the people passing through. We traveled on foot following the river tributaries that flowed down and around the large mountain. Regardless of all this, the children Warnati, Rahayu, Haryono and Haryadi enjoyed themselves as they walked through the fast currents up to 25cm deep.

One day, night fell while we were still on the road and we had to seek shelter with someone who seemed to be a bandit leader. Strangely enough though, our host said that just before we arrived he had repaired the walls of his house and had changed the bed coverings and the curtains on the doors of the house. He had also prepared food: rice with side dishes. He himself did not understand why he had done all this. So I told him, "What you have done is indeed praiseworthy, even though you have done it without thinking about it beforehand. In fact this is a reminder to you from your inner self which wishes you to act virtuously with the result that you will be loved and respected by other people and will have authority."

As for my wife and children, although they had been very nervous about staying there, thanks to God, they slept soundly and before we knew it we heard the cocks crowing, welcoming the dawn. The next day we took leave of our host and continued our journey to Wolodono, Temanggung. Our host tried his best to prevent us going as he felt we were too tired to journey such a long way, but I was obliged to say, "We really wish to reach our relatives in Wolodono as quickly as possible."

We were quickly on our way. About five hours later we reached the locality of Wolodono, Temanggung, and soon we were in a village. We stopped there for a moment, and Warnati was recognised by one of the inhabitants of the area. He told us that it was only a short way to our destination.

In short, we all arrived safely in Wolodono and stayed with our relatives. There we were able to rest properly because, as well as being far from the turbulence being experienced by people, the climate was cool, so the weariness of our journey was swept clean away.

We felt very much at home in Wolodono, Temanggung; this was the place where I would live as a farmer, if only I could sell my house in Bergota Kalisari.

We stayed in Wolodono for only about three months then, after hearing the news that Indonesia had become independent, we made our way to Yogyakarta. In Yogyakarta, we stayed in Wirogunan Street and a little while later we moved to Tanjung Street. There I gathered together the people whom I had opened previously, added to which there were many new people whom I opened after moving to Yogyakarta.

In just a short time, when the number of people following the latihan kejiwaan had reached more than 300, I felt it was time to form an association. This was necessary so that the brothers and sisters who were following the latihan kejiwaan could be registered and organized. Everybody agreed with this idea and so we formed an association, which I called Susila Budhi Dharma. The full name of this association was Persaudaraan Kejiwaan Susila Budhi Dharma or the spiritual association of Susila Budhi Dharma, or Subud for short.

After its formation the followers of the latihan kejiwaan were registered as members. Thereafter those who wished to follow the latihan kejiwaan had to undergo a three-month probationary period and once they were opened they had to register as a member of the spiritual association of Susila Budhi Dharma (Subud). Naturally, once this association had been formed, a committee was appointed, comprising a chairman, a vice chairman, a secretary, a treasurer, and at least two supervisors. This was necessary so that the registration of members could go smoothly, and the needs of the Subud association could be properly met.

I should mention here that Wignyosupartono who, as I have previously explained, had been a follower of Kiai Abdurach-man's Jatirogo movement and had moved to Yogyakarta long before I did, took no part in the formation of Subud. He intentionally kept himself and his followers apart. So too did one of his followers who had left him and had formed the movement called Sumarah.

During 1946, I still lived in Tanjung Street where, apart from opening new members and accompanying their latihan kejiwaan, I assisted an Islamic party called Masyumi with its bookkeeping and finances. For this work I received a small fee, which was just sufficient to provide for the needs of my family. I did not work for the Masyumi party for long before I went to work in the Army Health Directorate in Yogyakarta. After a medical examination I was accepted as a major and posted to the finance department. Here I earned a good income that more than covered our needs, but in reality I felt neither content nor satisfied with the work. Perhaps it was not for me. So, after a year I resigned, giving the reason that the work was not in accordance with my inner self.

After leaving the post of major, I rested for a while, then with some Subud members I formed a construction company which we ran from the house of Tan Tok Ciang in Malioboro Street. This endeavor went well. While working in this company, I moved house a few times, from Tanjung Street to Puri Pakua-laman, and from Puri Pakualaman to Tegal-Panggung Street, then from Tegal-Panggung Street back to Wirogunan Street. Only after renting a house there did we settle for a time.

In Wirogunan Street, the number of members increased by the day. Moreover, those joining Subud were not just Indonesians but foreigners too; Yugoslavian, White Russian, English and those of other nationalities came to be opened. Among these foreigners was someone from England called Husein Rofe who was a Muslim.

According to Husein Rofe, after he first arrived in Java, he had gone to Bali, as he had thought that in Bali he would find the old Javanese high culture. But in Bali he found complete emptiness. Everything he saw was of the Hindu culture, so he left Bali and returned to Jakarta.

In Jakarta, he visited many religious teachers in the hope of finding guidance through Islam that would lead him to truth. He searched for a long time but only became frustrated as he could not find what he sought.

Then he heard from someone that Yogyakarta was the place where he might find what he was looking for. Full of hope, he left Jakarta and headed for Yogyakarta. In Yogyakarta he stayed in one of the hotels, and set about introducing himself to people he thought important and who would want to learn a foreign language. He was fluent in no less than 27 languages. Fortunately, among the people he approached were quite a number who wanted to be taught French and English.

This was Husein Rofe situation after arriving in Yogya-karta. As time went by, he had more and more students, so that he felt that he was earning enough. Then he remembered that the main purpose of his visit to Yogyakarta was to find a teacher who could show him the truth about Islam. So one day, during a lesson, he asked his students whether there was a teacher in Yogyakarta who could show the truth about Islam. One of his students immediately responded, "Yes, there is. If you wish, sir, I will take you to this teacher's house, as I am one of his students."

Naturally, he gladly accepted this proposal and so it was that Husein Rofe came to my house in Wirogunan Street accompanied by his student. There were many members following the latihan kejiwaan when he arrived. So he did not ask any questions, other than to ask to be opened straight away.

Fundamentally, Rofe's wish was truly sincere, so by the grace of God, he received well during the opening and he felt as though he had been released from a feeling of darkness. Thereafter he diligently followed the latihan kejiwaan of Subud.

Simply because of his nature, Rofe did not like to remain in one place for long. Consequently, after staying a short time in Yogyakarta, he asked my blessing to move to Palembang, Sumatra. Although he had not been long in Subud, the truth was he could open other people who wished to join Subud. After a short time in Palembang he had opened a number of people there. Most of them were Muslims, and there was even a haj. It was no problem for Rofe to help these people as he was deeply knowledgeable of the Qur'an and spoke Arabic fluently.

In Palembang, Husein Rofe formed a group -- which I eventually visited too -- and everything was well organized. However, Rofe did not feel at home in Palembang, and so he returned to Yogyakarta. By the time of his return I had moved house from Wirogunan Street to Jayaningprangan Street, Yogyakarta.

Once he was back in Yogyakarta, Husein Rofe wanted to move on again, this time to Hong Kong. So, not long after that, he left Yogyakarta for Hong Kong, hoping from there to continue his journey back to England. He had wanted to return to England for some time, but had been unable to organize things in order to do so.

After Husien Rofe's departure, I continued to receive new members in Jayaningprangan and to accompany their latihan kejiwaan twice a week. Among those who were following the latihan kejiwaan was Rachmad Pane who wanted to move to Medan, Sumatra, to set up a private bank there. Rachmad originated from Medan, and so it would be no problem for him to mix with the Mcdancsc. On arrival in Medan, he formed the bank that I named Bank Mestika Dharma. The bank developed as would be expected for a bank that was just starting. Now it happened that after Rachmad had been in Medan for a while he was able to give some understanding about Subud to his relations with the result that many of them joined Subud, so shortly thereafter my wife and I traveled to Medan.

In Medan we opened many new members as well as Rachmad Pane's family. As a result we stayed for some time in Medan and at one point we traveled to Sibolga to open new members there. In short, my wife and I stayed in Medan and its vicinity for quite some time with the result that a Subud group was established there.

After we returned to Jayaningprangan, Yogyakarta, I continued as usual to receive new members and open them, so Jayaningprangan was normally packed with both new and old members.

Then one day I felt a strong urge to go to Jakarta. I sent my son Haryadi on ahead before my wife and I were due to follow. In Jakarta he stayed in Madura Street with my grandson, a Subud member named Sudarsono. My son had gone first so as to find a house to rent because it was difficult at that time to rent anything of adequate size.

Eventually news arrived that it was extremely difficult to find a house in Jakarta. This made me uneasy as I had already given notice to the owner of the house in Jayaningprangan that we would give it up so I felt obliged to leave and move to Jakarta. Fortunately, shortly after arriving at Sudarsono's house, through an unexpected event, I was able, by the grace of Almighty God, to buy a house in Wi]aya Street in the Kebayo-ran Baru district of Jakarta. Ibu, my wife, was so happy: we were not renting a house anymore -- far from it, we had bought a house outright. Although it was not large, it was quite satisfactory.

Soon after my family and I felt settled in our new house in Wijaya Street, Kebayoran Baru, I had to leave to travel to Surabaya. I had promised Usman, a member there, to visit him and to open those who wished to join Subud.

Before we left for Surabaya, yet another strange thing occurred. Sudarsono's wife called on us to tell us that their neighbor, a Dutchman, was selling his house at a low price, even though the house was large and well situated. Moreover the purchase price could be covered with a bridging loan from a bank, the repayment of which could be offset against the sale proceeds from the house in Wijaya Street. Fortunately I was able to hand the matter over to Rusli, the treasurer of the South Jakarta Subud group, to be finalized. Then on the appointed day, I left Wijaya Street and headed for Surabaya to visit Usman's house.

My wife and I stayed in Surabaya for some weeks so as to accompany the latihan kejiwaan of those members who had been opened by Darmowasito as well as to open new members.

On returning from Surabaya, we went straight to the new house in Jawa Street, as everything had been arranged by the members of South Jakarta group.

Another strange thing was that, after arranging everything for us, brother Rusli experienced an intensive-purification or crisis. So, with the agreement of the members of the South Jakarta group, he stayed in our old house in Wijaya Street.

For a long time the house could not be sold -- each time a potential buyer wished to see the house, Rusli would expose himself at the window, frightening the buyer off. Eventually, Rusli's crisis came to an end and the house was sold. This then was the state of myself and my family at this time.

After we had settled in the house in Jawa Street -- which is now called Haji Omar Said Cokroaminoto Street -- the number of members grew and grew. We therefore had to rent a large hall for holding the latihan kejiwaan, the Adhuc Stat which is now the Bappenas -- State Planning Board -- office.

In 1954, my son Haryadi fell ill and died and was buried in Karet Cemetery, Jakarta.

In 1956 I received a letter from Cyprus from someone I did not know. His name was Meredith Starr, a traveler and historian. According to the letter, he had learned of me and of the spiritual association of Subud from an article in one of the newspapers that was published in Cyprus. The gist of Meredith's letter was that he wished to meet me and he urged me to travel to Cyprus if at all possible.

I immediately thought of brother Husein Rofe who wished to return to England if he had the means to do so. The only problem was that by now he had left Indonesia and was living in Hong Kong. So, on receiving Meredith's letter, I forwarded it to Rofe with a covering letter requesting him to travel to Cyprus first to fulfil the invitation of Meredith Starr and his compatriots.

I soon received a reply from Rofe to say that on receiving my letter he had immediately contacted Meredith Starr and his friends. Then another letter arrived from Rofe to say that he would leave Hong Kong for Cyprus as soon as all the arrangements were made.

A fortnight later I received another letter from Rofe, who was by now in Cyprus, saying that he had opened Meredith Starr and his friends who were almost all English, and that all had gone well.

Weeks then months went by before another letter arrived from Rofe. Cyprus was in turmoil after an uprising, so Meredith Starr and his friends as well as Rofe had been forced to leave Cyprus and return to their native land, England.

After a little while another letter arrived to say that Rofe and his friends had all arrived safely in London and, with the agreement of the members who had been opened, they wished to invite me and my wife to go there. He added that he had been able to rent a house that would be big enough to accommodate me and my wife as well as two or three other traveling companions.

By this time the spiritual association of Subud in Indonesia was well organized, so I agreed to the request of Rofe and his friends whom he had opened.

After arranging for visas and so on, on May 19th, 1957 my wife and I and two companions -- Icksan and his wife, Ismana -- as well as Batara Pane who, as it happened, was travelling to Holland, left for England by plane.

Our arrival was greeted by Rofe and the friends who had already received the latihan kejiwaan of Subud, and we were accommodated in the house that Rofe had rented.

So, as soon as we arrived, that very night, we started to accompany the latihan kejiwaan of the new Subud brothers and sisters who had been opened by Husein Rofe in Cyprus. This took place in 1957. And that is how it continued, as the days and weeks went by; as well as accompanying the latihan kejiwaan of those already opened, my wife and I opened brothers and sisters wishing to be opened.

I should explain that at this time we did not apply the three-month waiting period for those wishing to join Subud. Abroad, particularly in England, people wanted so much to be opened that there was no end to the people being opened each night.

The result was that very quickly the number of members had reached more than 300 so, with the agreement of most of the members, the latihan kejiwaan was moved to John Bennett's house in Coombe Springs, London.

Luckily, the renovation of John Bennett's house was almost complete and so we used a large room for the latihan kejiwaan and opening people. In addition, my wife and I and our companions had a place to rest that was more than adequate.

I should explain that on the night of the day I arrived at John Bennett'shouse in Coombe Springs, everyone was startled by the sound of a great explosion. John Bennett was among those who were there and he said that the explosion was a sign of greeting: Welcome, Bapak Muhammad Subuh, to Coombe Springs, London.

Furthermore, something totally unexpected took place at Coombe Springs. A seminar was being held there by the members of the Gurdjieff spiritual movement, who had come from all over the world. So my arrival at Coombe Springs as the bringer of Subud attracted a lot of attention.

It turned out that John Bennett was a leader of the Gurdjieff movement. After holding a meeting with the members of Gurdjieff, he came to see me. He asked me whether I was willing for them all to join Subud. I replied that Subud was ready to receive them as long as their desire to join Subud was truly from a wish to submit and surrender to Almighty God.

Then every night, one after another, they were opened and followed the latihan kejiwaan together with the brothers and sisters who had already been opened. So in no time at all, Coombe Springs became exceedingly crowded; the grounds were covered with tents as most of them chose to stay in the gardens of Coombe Springs rather than in a hotel.

It became even more crowded after the arrival of the film star Eva Bartok. She came to be cured of an illness afflicting her, a form of cancer in her abdomen. Healing is not the purpose of the latihan kejiwaan, but because she was persuaded by John Bennett who was her spiritual guide, she had to be opened and follow the latihan kejiwaan.

As it turned out, after Miss Bartok had been following the latihan kejiwaan for more or less three weeks, she began to feel her ailment diminish. In addition, when her doctor examined her, he told her that her affliction no longer looked like an illness, but the signs were that she was pregnant. Clearly, the sickness that had afflicted Miss Eva Bartok had gone and in fact there was a foetus.

With this event, news was broadcast proclaiming that the latihan kejiwaan of Subud, apart from being a source of guidance for those who wished to find spiritual truth, could also cure people suffering from cancer and other ailments. These news stories influenced many, with the result that people rushed to Coombe Springs wishing to follow the latihan kejiwaan. Needless to say, this resulted in Coombe Springs being overwhelmed by people wishing to join and follow the latihan kejiwaan.

As a result of so many people coming into Subud, our visas were hastily extended to prolong our stay beyond the three months permitted. Fortunately this request was granted quickly.

Then when the time was approaching for me and my companions to leave England and return home, the brothers and sisters who had recently joined Subud during the Gurdjieff seminar proposed that we prolong our return journey to Indonesia by stopping over at their various homes. So we quickly set about arranging the visas. Through the grace of Almighty God, all went well with the arrangements.

In brief, the whole journey lasted 14 months because we visited so many countries where we opened brothers and sisters wishing to follow the latihan kejiwaan of Subud. This all took place in 1957 and 1958, and it was our first journey abroad.

In 1959 and 1960 my wife and I, our daughter, Rochanawati and two companions -- Dr Anwar Zakir and his wife -- traveled abroad at the invitation of Subud members from various countries. This time we left Indonesia for Australia. From Australia we traveled to New Zealand, from New Zealand to Los Angeles, from Los Angeles to San Francisco, from San Francisco to Mexico, from Mexico to Columbia, from Columbia to Peru, from Peru to Chile, from Chile to Argentina, from Argentina to Brazil, from Brazil to Venezuela and from Venezuela to Washington DC. Then from Washington DC to New York, from New York to Chicago and from Chicago to Miami. From America we returned once again to Europe and visited Holland, Germany, France, Austria and Switzerland among other countries, and finally we went to London for the first International Subud Congress.

I should tell of something that happened to us in Holland on our way to London to attend the congress:

I was staying at the house of an engineer called Tjalsma, when a professor named Dr Heringa came to see me. He was the chairman of a movement called Wereldsche Moreele Herbewapening. This professor asked about Subud and the basis and aims of the latihan kejiwaan. I answered all his questions and it seems that my answers satisfied him. Then the professor explained that 70 years ago a group of spiritualists received the message that a Muslim from the east would come to Holland and would give guidance in the realm of the spiritual to the people of Holland. He added that my activities in the spiritual field would eventually be recorded in the history of the world in gold ink, as it had never before happened that people in the west had been guided by someone from the east.

I simply responded to these words with a smile. Then the words just came out, "Well, I don't know what I will have to face later on; I simply surrender to the power of Almighty God."

Then, after leaving Holland, we were in Germany when I was visited by another professor. He was said to be the "number two" to Dr Jung, a professor who was widely respected in intellectual circles. The professor asked to read my hands, saying that as I had become the focus of attention for many people in the west there would certainly be some special signs about me. I held out my hands to be examined.

The professor carefully studied the lines of both my hands. After a while he said that my life line was special: apart from living to an old age, I was on a high spiritual plane. He added that as long as he had lived he had never before come across lines like those on my hands.

On another day, while still in Germany, a very old man came to see me in the place where the latihan kejiwaan was held in Heimstatten Alle Street in Planegg. He claimed to be around 140 years old. He came from a mountainous region outside Munich and was accompanied by his grandson who looked quite old too. It was not clear what the man was saying, and both his sight and his hearing were feeble.

After I had invited him to sit down, I asked him the purpose of his visit. His reply, which the grandson had to convey, was that he had come to see me because he had been sitting quietly when he had had a revelation that he should meet the visitor from the east who was currently in Germany.

In brief, I opened this very old man in the presence of the German brothers. Thanks to Almighty God, this man fell to the floor and sat there crying. Then he said, as explained by the grandson, that now he felt that within his being there was something which by nature praised the power of Almighty God.

I then said to the old man, "Grandfather, you are fortunate to have had such a clear feeling of worship. I hope that you will always calm yourself and praise the Greatness of Almighty God. You have no need to follow the desires of young people; it is enough just to calm yourself. I hope you will receive Almighty God's mercy and will receive what you need for this world and the next." He thanked me deeply and then, after bidding me farewell, he was led out of the latihan place by his grandson.

So this is how it was when I was in Germany.

After leaving Germany and traveling to France, my wife and I continued to open new members and accompany the latihan of those already opened.

In France, I received a report from some sisters that one night the older sister of one of them had been in a place that is regarded as holy, and suddenly saw Mother Mary. Mother Mary said that France would soon be visited by a Muslim who would give a training in the way to worship Almighty God, which would enable those who followed this training to really understand their religion. Mother Mary went on to explain that this was not to be repeated to other people as later they would come to know for themselves. This was the story told by one of the French sisters to Ibu, my wife. In short, there were many things of this nature which I came across and experienced during my travels at that time.

If I reflect on this, every event that I came across and everything that I experienced each time I witnessed the latihan kejiwaan of the Subud brothers and sisters corresponded with the contents of the book that I had received when performing zikir after my latihan kejiwaan -- which I mentioned earlier.

The pictures in that book had clearly portrayed a group of people prostrating themselves in prayer, another group of people sobbing and begging Almighty God for forgiveness for all their sins, others running and beating their chests as though wishing to rid themselves of something constricting their chests, yet others energetically performing martial arts and dancing to their own melodies, and much more besides. This was all just as it was with the Subud members who were now following the latihan kejiwaan. Furthermore, the Subud members received and followed the latihan kejiwaan together despite the fact that in the latihan hall they were mixed with people from all races and all religions. Yet they appeared to be in such harmony, as though they were in the midst of their own family. This showed that they received from one source and faced one source that is Almighty God. This too had been shown in the book.

With this proof, I was unable to think of the future; I just gave thanks to Almighty God that through His Grace, I was able to

carry out that which had been described in the book that I mentioned earlier.

After we arrived in England, we attended the International Subud Congress, which was being held in a building that had been built many years before -- a high-ceilinged circular hall. This hall was originally intended to be used for the needs of the members of the Gurdjieff movement. However, now that the spiritual association of Subud had become firmly established ill England, through the agreement of the members who owned it, it was used for openings and the latihan kejiwaan.

On this visit we stayed for a long time in England, so I traveled .to virtually all the large cities, not just to attend the latihan kejiwaan, but to open new members as well. This was despite the fact that there were helpers in England -- a helper being someone who has been a Subud member for some time and who is accustomed to opening new members.

On October 15th, 1959, we left England and on the return journey to Indonesia we stayed in Bombay, India ill the house of Boman Behram, who was normally known as B.B.

There we continued to assist in the latihan kejiwaan and to open new members, even though they already had helpers too. From Bombay we traveled to New Delhi, and from New Delhi to Calcutta.

I will tell you of the time we stayed in B.B.'s house in Bombay. B.B. explained to me that before I arrived in Bombay he had appointed one of his employees, an accountant, to ask his guru -- a maharishi who lived far from the city of Bom

bay -- about me and about the nature of the latihan kejiwaan that B.B. had received and followed.

The strange thing was that before his employee had conveyed the message, the maharishi had said, "In the house of your boss, Mr. B.B., a Muslim has arrived from the east. He is clean-shaven and wears western clothes. This is someone who has truly been blessed by Almighty God to spread the latihan kejiwaan to mankind so that anyone who follows the latihan kejiwaan can truly worship Almighty God with purity."

The maharishi had gone on to advise B.B. that he hoped that he would diligently follow whatever he received in the latihan kejiwaan. So B.B. asked me, "Is it true what the maharishi said, Bapak?" Straight away I responded, "How can you ask me that? After all, I am the one being talked about. If I say this is true I will feel arrogant, I will feel as big as a mountain. That would be out of place, so I will just leave it to you to judge."

This was something that I experienced during the visit to India. Then after leaving India, we traveled to Ceylon, from Ceylon to Bangkok, from Bangkok to Singapore, and from Singapore back to Indonesia. Our travels lasted 14 months

, about the same amount of time as when I had traveled around the world the first time.

In 1963, my wife and I traveled abroad to attend the second International Subud Congress in New York, USA. This time we were accompanied by Usman and his wife, Siti Amihah. We took the eastern route via Australia, New Zealand, the Philippines, Japan, San Francisco, Vancouver, Los Angeles, Mexico, Columbia, Peru, Chile, Argentina, Brazil, Venezuela, Miami, Washington DC and Chicago and then to New York.

On arrival in New York, everything for the congress of the Subud association had been well prepared and the congress was about to begin.

As is normal, the congress was opened by the congress chairman, Varindra Vittachi. Then after the opening speech was over, I was invited to address those present. After my address, the conduct of the congress was handed back to the chairman.

As usual, during the week following the congress, I gave talks and held a latihan kejiwaan each night. So although the congress was over, I stayed for some days more in the place where the congress had been held.

After we had stayed in New York, we went sight seeing and traveling. While we did this we opened people wishing to join Subud who had undergone the three-month waiting period. As a result I visited almost every large city in America.

On our return to Indonesia, we stopped over in Singapore and apart from buying gifts for our grandchildren, we also attended the latihan kejiwaan of the Subud brothers and sisters there.

In Singapore, I received a report from one of the helpers, Edward van Hien, who was a Christian. He and two other helpers, one of whom was a Buddhist and the other a Hindu, had been to Malaysia to open some Muslims who had wanted to join Subud. During the opening, these men had moved as if praying in the Islamic manner and had uttered prayers for a long time. When the latihan had finished, they had said they were satisfied and expressed their gratitude. Vall Hien had just remained quiet throughout all this as he did not yet understand the reality. This was van Hien's report.

Indeed, matters such as that which were experienced by van Hien and his friends often happen in the Subud association. Many times a helper who is Christian has opened a new member whose religion had not been known beforehand, and during the opening the member has received movements and made sounds that are Islamic in nature. This shows that the latihan kejiwaan is not something that has been invented by the heart and mind, but comes from the power of Almighty God which envelops both the inner and the outer self of the person receiving it. So the opener, or helper, only serves as a channel to pass the latihan kejiwaan to another person. This was my explanation to van Hien as he was unable to understand what had happened. This news strengthened the faith of the helpers in Singapore, especially those who were Christian.

After Ibu had bought enough presents for our grandchildren and brothers and sisters in Jakarta, we left Singapore and returned to Jakarta.

I should explain here that we were accompanied on our return from London by John Bennett, his secretary and his two children. In Jakarta, John Bennett stayed in Suta's house. He appeared very much at home in Jakarta and became close to Suta, which was evidenced by the way Suta would often take him around. He was also very diligent in attending the latihan kejiwaan of Subud; as a consequence many Indonesian brothers and sisters came to know him.

I was still living in Jawa Street when John Bennett came to Jakarta. Then in 1962 I moved to Rumah Sakit Fatmawati Street, Cilandak, Jakarta. In Cilandak, my family and I occupied part of the guest house, as my own house there was still being built.

In 1966, not long after returning with me from abroad, my daughter Rochanawati fell ill and died. She was buried in Karet Cemetery, Jakarta. In the same year, my daughter Siti Rahayu married Rochanawati's husband, Raden Mas Ismangun, the father of my grand-daughter Isni Astuti.

Just before I was to go abroad to attend the third Subud World Congress in Tokyo, Japan in 1967, my son-in-law Syafrudin Ahmad fell ill and died, and was also buried in Karet cemetery, Jakarta.

On this journey to the International Subud Congress in Tokyo, Japan, I was accompanied by Muhammad Usman.

In February 1971, my wife Siti Sumari (Ibu Subuh) fell ill and died, and was also buried in Karet Cemetery, Jakarta. A few months later, the fourth Subud World Congress was held in Cilandak, Jakarta, in the month of June.

In 1972, I traveled around the world again, accompanied by my daughter Siti Rahayu, and granddaughters Isni Astuti and Ismuwati, added to which were sister Mastuti and Sharif Horthy acting as my new interpreter.

In 1974, my mother fell ill and passed away aged 97 years, and was buried in Karet cemetery, Jakarta. In the same year, I married Mastuti, a helper, and the widow of a Subud member called Maryunan. She already had children: three sons and two daughters.

In between congresses, I traveled abroad at least once every two years to visit brothers and sisters and to accompany their latihan kejiwaan as well as to open new members wishing to join Subud. In some places I would open as many as 200 people a night. So by the 1970s, Subud members numbered in the thousands and Subud had spread to 76 countries. Of course, when not visiting brothers and sisters abroad, I lived in Cilandak. Even so, I did not forget to visit the brothers and sisters in Indonesia.

I will now set out what is needed to complete my history of the development of the latihan kejiwaan of Subud.

Ever since the second International Congress in New York, I have explained the purpose and the necessity for all of you Subud brothers and sisters to carry out enterprises in Subud. It is vital to concern ourselves with this because it has an extremely important connection with our aspirations to carry out social work, for example to build schools, orphanages, handicapped children's homes, old people's homes, hospitals and so on.

It is simply not possible to meet the needs for all of this if we just wait for contributions from the membership. So, to be able to fulfill our hopes, we need to carry out enterprises in whatever field we are capable of working in.

The contributions needed for our social projects will come from the enterprises that you run. The amount to be set aside for social projects will be at most 25 percent, but not less than 15 percent, of the net profit of an enterprise. These contributions can be distributed according to your own assessment of needs. If worldwide, within the Subud community, there are 30 or 40 groups running enterprises, then the income for social projects will be significant.

It is truly necessary to set up enterprises because, apart from the profits made, of which a portion will be donated for social work, they will also provide work for Subud members who are unemployed. In this way we will strengthen the bonds of brotherhood between us -- just as you feel when you are together in the latihan kejiwaan. You feel as though you are in the midst of your own family even though the person following the latihan kejiwaan next to you is not of the same race or religion. It is clear from this that it is the will of Almighty God for mankind to live in harmony and to love one another.

If you view things in terms of the latihan kejiwaan of Subud, you will conclude that this state of good fortune will be achieved if those who carry out a task are harmonious, value each other, respect each other and help each other. If you are truly able to do this then it is certain that through the grace of Almighty God you will be protected from division and destruction.

Observing the scope of the power of the latihan kejiwaan of Subud -- which in truth is the guidance and direction from the power of Almighty God -- your state when you carry out any form of work will always be accompanied by His guidance and His direction. So for those of you who carry out enterprises and can truly comprehend this, in every action and in every movement you will be constantly filled with praise for Almighty God.

To give you an example: if you are a singer, within your singing there will be the guidance and direction from the power of Almighty God; if you are an architect, in your architectural work there too will be the guidance and direction from the power of Almighty God, and so on. Whatever you work at, that power of guidance and direction will accompany your work.

So this is why I consider that it is of vital importance that Subud brothers and sisters think about running enterprises together. Do not think that your inner self will be impeded in receiving and carrying out the latihan kejiwaan of Subud.

According to the history of life, before the being known as Adam was put on this earth, he was not equipped with the lower life forces that make up the framework for life in this world. Nevertheless, Adam could already know and understand his life, as everything was still one for him. That which was thought about was one with that which did the thinking. That which was felt about was one with that which did the feeling. That which was seen was one with that which did the seeing. That which was heard was one with that which did the hearing. That which was spoken was one with that which did the speaking.

Clearly, when Adam was still in his original state, that which was needed was one with that which needed it. For this reason, the name Adam means "the first", or "before". So the human form of Adam arose after the being called Adam already existed. Clearly, then, it is man who describes Adam as a man.

So, returning to the point when Adam was about to descend to earth, everything that was needed by Adam for life in this world was gifted to him in its entirety by the power of Almighty God.

This enabled Adam to live in a way that was appropriate on earth. He had to search for food each time he felt hungry. He looked for water if he felt thirsty. He looked for something with which to cover his body if he felt hot from the rays of the sun, and he looked for something if he felt cold from the wind. Clearly, after Adam came into the world, he had to search and strive for whatever he needed. Although this was so, he would achieve success as long as he used his faculties to strive for what he needed, as all the necessary tools were already within himself.

For us, then, life in this world, or the fact that we have been created by Almighty God to live in this world, means that we should not think only about life in the next world. On the contrary, we must look after and guarantee the needs of our life in this world for the time we are here.

The question of our life after we leave this world is the concern of the power of Almighty God. For our part, all we have to do is to surrender with patience, acceptance and submission in our worship of Almighty God. In this way, a feeling of love for our fellow human beings will arise from our inner self of its own accord, and we will have no desire to do anything that will disturb or lessen the peace and tranquility of our fellow men. This is already a reality within the latihan kejiwaan of Subud; those who receive the latihan kejiwaan receive a purification, the nature of which causes our bad characteristics to become good.

In truth, the need for and the purpose of the latihan kejiwaan of Subud is so that we come to know our two duties. The first is our duty to worship Almighty God with patience, acceptance and submission; the second is our duty to look after and assure the needs of our life for the time we are in this world.

Returning again to enterprise: enterprises are being pioneered; abroad and in Indonesia there are efforts being made to establish enterprises. In Indonesia, this has started with the founding of a bank -- Bank Susila Bakti -- in Jakarta, the capital for which was subscribed by brothers and sisters both here and abroad. In parallel with this, we are building an office building in Jakarta. The capital has been put up by myself and my family and Subud brothers and sisters here and abroad. Through the grace of God, everything is going well.

Abroad too, pioneering efforts have started. In the case of England, Japan and Germany, it seems that these things are going well. Let us hope our brothers and sisters in other countries will soon catch up, so that our wishes to carry out work in the social field can truly be implemented.

I think that this is sufficient by way of completing the history of my journey in developing the latihan kejiwaan of Subud.