Subuh...Stories

Bapak has been pleased to write a romantic story in the Javanese language entitled The Light of the Inner Self. This story tells symbolically about a person who, beyond his own consciousness, comes into contact with a man who is able to give him spiritual guidance, and how finally this person, because of the rapid progress of his soul, reaches the condition where he can, in return, give the benefit of this improvement of his soul to others who wish to receive the latihan kejiwaan for the consciousness of their inner selves.

In this story many names are used for the actors, and for the various places as well as other things which are accessories to the story. It is all just a symbol of the development of the soul and is written in the form of a parable so that the content of the story will not bore the reader.

In connection with the publication of the Pewarta Kejiwaan Subud, Bapak has been pleased to give the original Javanese manuscript of the story to the board of editors to be translated into the Indonesian and English languages.

It will be edited in a serial form and published monthly in the Pewarta Kejiwaan Subud, in order to be presented and distributed at the best possible advantage for all brothers and sisters in our Subud spiritual brotherhood throughout the world.

Temporary explanation for the early part.

Mayasusila : The symbol of an aspect of the correct human morality aligned with the Divine Will.

Wisnadi : Symbolizes the good spirit.

Wisnu means spirit; hadi means good.

Ki Karyana : Pathfinder towards perfection.

The early part describes the condition of the inner feelings on the occasion of the inner life receiving the contact of the Power of Almighty God that envelops everything. It also explains the condition of the inner feelings before the contact.

Jaka Wisnadi, while on holiday, meets Ki Karyana. Jaka Wisnadi asks for a further explanation of the soul. Ki Karyana explains the action of individuals not acting in accordance with their soul.

A gentle breeze clears the scene before the always beautiful and stirring to behold mountain, Mayasusila. Such a picture symbolizes the heavenly feeling within the Kalbu (the heart of the soul), which shines with a bright light. So also is the situation at the moment when the soul is awakened and ready to come out of the inner self.

We shall sense a very wide difference if we compare this with the behavior of the social life in big cities and large communities, where the heart is always troubled and inharmonious in its conduct because it fails to receive the advice of the inner self concerning the soul and the spiritual atmosphere. The heart is always swollen with pride in its knowledge and desires only to accomplish its own wishes, or it is said, according to its opinion, "There is none more righteous than itself." It considers little in confronting an action and does not fully realize the action's consequences. Because of this, a person is in doubt in all his conduct, and finally, causes his own fall. He is lucky if, in all his failures, he still respects his own self, because if the heart has been lost, it will have the opinion that the self is of no worth at all.

Let us now leave these matters and look in the direction of a big waringin tree, dignified with its peaceful growth, on the slope of Mount Mayasusila. A young man is seen resting under its shadow, his left hand still holding a book he has finished reading. It looks as if the young man is dreaming and relaxing his tired body, quieting himself and becoming free from headaches caused by tiring situations.

A moment later, the young man stands up and slowly walks in the direction of a coffee plantation, a short distance away. On reaching there, he stops and tries to find a place to sit down within the shady coolness of a big tree trunk. From that time on his attention is drawn towards the people working on the plantations; he remains attentive until one of the workers approaches. Taking a seat beside the young man, he inquires,

"You don't look like you live in the neighboring villages. Are you a stranger here?

"Yes, indeed I have just come from the city to take a rest during my holidays;' he answers politely.

"Having holidays and not working, yet receiving constant wages?" the worker exclaims in surprise. The young man explains how it is so. "Yes. In fact it has become customary for the employees of big offices and businesses in town and other places to have their fortnightly vacation. It is up to them to spend the whole or part of it"

"Hmm. How well arranged that is. Men still receive wages while the body is able to rest" says the worker while nodding his head. He adds, "I'm sorry. I forgot to ask your name. Will you allow me? And also I forgot to introduce myself."

"I am called Jaka Wisnadi" He smiles and asks, "And please, what is your name?"

"My name is Ki Karyana. I was born in this village and have always lived here,' he answers.

Jaka Wisnadi asks, "When you asked about the holidays, I felt it was rather strange. Is such a matter not known here?"

"No," answered Ki Karyana. "That regulation of the big offices seems to be very useful. It lets their employees have a certain period of time to review their situation and consider their past actions. Having plenty of time during the holidays, enables them to change or improve their situations. It is especially important to be able to consider one's natural abilities. For example, something that is not yet in accordance with one's soul can be given consideration in order to find a solution so as to discontinue many endless past mistakes".

"Oh, such is your point of view,' says Jaka Wisnadi, moving a bit closer to show his full attention. He continues, "In fact, for me, this holiday is only a time to take a rest and quiet myself because I am already feeling tired from working throughout the year. Such a time is very useful to me for revitalizing myself and for enjoying the scenery as I am doing now."

Smilingly, Ki Karyana listens to him and jokingly says, "What you're saying makes it seem as if you are already content with your present situation. It is shown, is it not, by the way you are longing for the beauties of nature as only a means of recreation"

"If you mean is such an apparently agreeable situation entirely satisfactory for me, then I have to say I have not yet found it so. This is shown by the fact that in my whole career, I have neither felt satisfied or at peace within myself, nor found that joyous feeling which I only experience in moments like this," explains Jaka Wisnadi.

"Ah. Such is rather a pitiful situation, and very unsuitable" says Ki Karyana. Then pausing while becoming silent and nodding his head, he continues, "It is of no use to be disappointed or feel sorry, because that kind of feeling refers characteristically to situations full of disappointment and regret. That is why, before it is too late -- the sooner the better -- undertake activities that are fitting for you, that is, in accordance with the quality of your soul."

"Indeed, what you have explained is very true,' agrees Jaka Wisnadi. "If you don't mind, I hope you'll be so kind as to further explain how my present work may be unsuitable or not in accordance with the quality of my soul"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I beg you to excuse me for relating such a situation to you. I spoke of those things only because I felt it was likely to be of greater benefit if we discussed more worthwhile matters. You ought to know that I am only a man from the village, and it may be that my explanations seem farfetched.

"What I was trying to do was to give as clear an explanation as possible regarding matters closest to you.

"In the beginning, for instance, you mentioned that you had no joy or satisfaction in your occupation. However, I feel there are still many things you are unwilling to speak of, such as the situations outside your present field of work that are still not harmonious."

"Your situation could be summed up this way: unsatisfied feelings, uncertainty in actions, feeling bored, and even affected by sickness."

"These kinds of situations would be different if you had already found the kind of work that is suited to your soul. In that situation, you would always feel happy because your actions would unconsciously be in accordance with your situation. All would appear to be fortuitous, and there would no longer be feelings of boredom and tiresomeness."

"These are in truth the realities, just as fire gets its fuel, as a car finds its right track, or as something is correctly shaped from its various right components." So went the broad explanations from Ki Karyana, and after being quiet for a moment, he continued, "This kind of correct situation, in reality, ought to exist within all of us, and I myself am also striving with all my might in such a direction.

"It is a pity for the course of a person's life if his soul and occupation don't match, for this results in a life no different from, for example, the life of a stone, a lump of coal, or a stick of wood -- something that is unable to act by itself if there is not (someone) or something else to move it. However, it is possible, even in such a situation -- provided the heart is not submerged by it -- to be awakened by higher life forces. Such an awakening means that the soul is being promoted to a higher rank."

Then Jaka Wisnadi interrupts Ki Karyana s explanations by saying, "If for example, somebody is doing a particular kind of work in such a situation, how will that show in his actions, and what will be the result, my brother?"

Ki Karyana answers, "Such a situation can be compared with a merchant and his merchandise."

"Are the merchants of equal grade with the 'lump of coal' you mentioned before?" inquires Jaka Wisnadi.

Smilingly, Ki Karyana explains, "Not all the merchants have the natural ability of businessmen. Many people also enter trading activities whose souls are of high rank, and some people from an even higher grade of soul are engaged in business"

"Well! Do they really choose like that?" Jaka Wisnadi inquires. "No," answers Ki Karyana, "they have no choice. It is because they do not yet understand or receive advice or, to put it another way, 'they are not yet guided by a real leader.' There are also people who seem to be acting as if their souls are not in harmony with their field of activity, but they do so only for the sake of understanding the untruths and faults of such a situation."

"Hmm. That problem seems to be very difficult. There are people acting in strange ways" says Jaka Wisnadi. "Will you please explain the causes of those people acting not in accordance with their soul, who are only interested in discovering the realities of such faulty situations?"

"That situation could be visualized as follows. Actions that are contrary to the soul's guidance will result in the person's not feeling joy and happiness. In effect, he is still unable to promote his own well being. This appears, I am sorry to say, like your own circumstances,' says Ki Karyana with an apologetic smile. "If for example, you have the soul gifted as a leader, but in your work you are only sitting and turning pages of a book in an office, it is easy to guess that your condition will not be a happy one. It is also why you need the consolation of holidays and a rest from such work."

Jaka Wisnadi receives further explanations from Ki Karyana about acting in harmony with ones soul. Ki Karyana explains the influences of the heart and the awakening of the soul. Jaka Wisnadi takes leave, but sets a time to meet again.

Jaka Wisnadi asked, "My brother, if a person whose soul is not that of a trader makes efforts to acquire the knowledge of a trader and applies himself with enthusiasm, when he later engages in trade will he not succeed?"

"Hmm" mused Ki Karyana. "Actually, it is not possible for him to succeed. It is true one gets the impression his actions as a trader are all satisfactory, and sometimes he even appears to be more capable than others. However, in the end he will find himself back to his original capital, or even left without a trace of any of his capital at all.

"If his soul is not that of a merchant and he engages in trade, his actions are only imitations of his neighbor's, which he carries out in the belief that his life will thereby flourish. He does so without first considering what other occupation existing in this world would be able to awaken the spirit of his soul. Because of this, his actions will not have the results expected, and the time taken will be lost to no purpose. Such a man does not appreciate the value of his efforts."

Jaka Wisnadi interrupted, "What about merchants who heedlessly indulge in enjoying themselves when they make a great profit and street-vendors who remain vendors all their lives? Do they belong to the category you mentioned before, that is, those who don't have merchants' souls yet act as traders?"

"Yes," replied Ki Karyana, "I would say so. But if a man with a merchant's soul acts as a merchant, the condition can be compared to that of a cow facing grass -- whether it is cut or in a green field. How pleased the cow will be and how peaceful in mind, because she knows that in this situation, she can find happiness and contentment. That is to say the wherewithal for her very existence is at hand.

"So actually if a merchant has a merchant's soul, then his engagement in trade is for him a pleasure, and the nature of his work as a trader is the source of his satisfaction and happiness in such a way that all bliss in this world is for him contained therein.

"In truth, the nature of life is progressive, or more clearly, it ever-expanding, and in its entirety, complete. Thus a man acting in harmony with his soul, and therefore unimpeded by a heart lost in enjoyment, will, it is certain, be able to add to his knowledge so that his circumstances will increasingly prosper and flourish."

Jaka Wisnadi nodded his head in agreement, but in his heart he was amazed that his new friend, who was only a villager, could explain things in such a way that they always agreed with his own deeper feelings. He thought to himself, "Here am I, a man from the city with a very good education, but in our talks, I'm less clear and lucid than this man from the country. Had he had the chance of such a good education (as mine), how much more remarkable he would be" Then he said, "Tell me brother, where did you have your schooling when you were a child?"

Ki Karyana smiled and replied, "I only went to the village school. We learned some writing, and now I just can read and write."

Jaka Wisnadi was surprised and said, "I thought that you must have had a higher education"

Still smiling, Ki Karyana said, "I could not get a perfect education since my parents were simple village folk whose view on life was rather limited. As well as being village folk, my parents had never traveled far:

"Really!" remarked Jaka Wisnadi and paused for a moment. "This surprises me. How is it then that you give such clear explanations and can direct our conversation towards the desires of my heart?"

"Concerning this there is not much I can say, That you have considered me clever can be said to be just incidental" replied Ki Karyana with his head bowed.

Jaka Wisnadi smiled and said, "All right. As you say, so should it be. You may not consider yourself clever, but others like me, do." He then went on to ask, "Can you briefly tell me how you have become like this, because it seems to me that somebody must have guided you, even if it was just advice"

Looking up, Ki Karyana said, "Indeed. Knowing does come about through guidance, even if that guidance is only in the form of experience."

"Concerning myself -- the little ability I have which caused you to call me clever, has actually come about through spiritual guidance, but the way of this guidance and the way of being guided are very different from guidance that originates with the heart and mind -- which usually consists of training one's mind and increasing one's intelligence. It's like taking lessons in how to think. With me, the way of training or exercising (latihan) is to accustom the heart and mind - that is the forces from my thoughts, hopes, wishes and desires - to come to rest in their right place. In this state, one's body, which is the home of the inner feeling, will be felt in the condition that exists after the heart has relinquished its power.

"It is certainly very difficult to come to this separation of the heart and the body in any ordinary way. That is why people like me, who are still weak spiritually, need the help of someone who is already graced with the power to govern the forces of the heart and is able to make those feelings of the body which have until now always been under the influence of the heart come alive.

"Indeed, from the meeting of the strong and the weak will come, in the beginning, support for the weak. That is, the weak will find strength, and in time, the awakening of the inner self and the putting aside of the heart and its accessories will become evident. Only when this condition has already become fairly dear, will the reality of the soul begin to appear. It is actually the soul that is the rightful controller of the essence of desire, and when it is so, there is a feeling like being in one's own home together with one's wife and children. In this way the inner feeling will learn to know the soul, while the heart remains a servant."

Jaka Wisnadi interrupted asking, "So then the spiritual exercise is very different from the exercises of the mind?"

"Oh yes, it is very different" said Ki Karyana, "because in this latihan kejiwaan the putting aside of the heart is necessary, while in exercises of the heart and mind, it is required to extend the power of the heart to become clever."

"If that is so" said Jaka Wisnadi, "a clever heart actually blocks the way for the awakening of the soul which is still enveloped by the feelings."

"Yes, what you say is quite right for people who feel the need for the awakening of their souls;' said Ki Karyana, "because the awakening or the development of the soul does not come through the sharpness and cleverness of the heart, but on the contrary, comes only after the heart stops its various efforts."

"When your heart has become quiet and the awakening of the soul has taken its course, will the heart which has already acquired much learning be of no further use?" asked Jaka Wisnadi.

"Hmm. At the time the soul takes over, however useful the heart might have been, in that moment you will experience that it is of no use. So the nature of the heart will be not more than a heart. For it is an instrument which is only a servant and as such, will obey every order of the soul because the soul is in reality the authoritative one, the one who has the power. The soul will not take over if the heart is still interfering because the soul is not to be preceded.

Or to be more clear, the heart is in reality the one that follows. However clever the heart might be, its usefulness is limited to that which can be thought about, which can be composed, desired, and imagined. Beyond these things, it is only the soul that can sense the reality"

JakaWisnadi nodded his head several times, then said, "Dear other, actually I still need to ask more questions, but as the time has come for me to return home, I'm afraid our conversation will have to end for the time being. However, I have one request, if you agree to it, that this coming Sunday I can meet you here again. I myself hope to be able to come here earlier."

Ki Karyana replied, "Yes, very well if you wish."

Then they separated and said good-bye to each other.

Jaka Wisnadi and Ki Karyana both look forward to their next meeting. Ki Karyana explains the foundation of the village and the origin of his house.

After leaving Ki Karyana, Jaka Wisnadi went straight home to the city.

He kept thinking about Ki Karyana. He was still impressed with the fact that a man coming from a village and having only a scanty education could actually carry on such a very good conversation and was, moreover, always able to direct his words to the feelings of his listeners.

For that reason, Jaka Wisnadi was night and day anxiously awaiting the time he would meet Ki Karyana again.

As for Ki Karyana, after taking leave from Jaka Wisnadi, he returned to his place of work. However, not long afterwards, he went home, too. At home, the same thing happened to Ki Karyana. He kept thinking about his new acquaintance, how intelligent he was, and how good looking, so well fitting with his behavior.

Usually when he came home, Ki Karyana would occupy himself with odd jobs that might bring him extra income. However, after meeting Jaka Wisnadi, he didn't do his usual things. On the contrary, he often seemed to be lost in thought.

"My husband, I notice that during these last days you seem to be very different than in the past. And when you are sitting down, you seem very often lost in thought. What are you thinking about? asked his wife as she sat down near him.

"Hmm. Yes. You don't know why I have become this way lately" replied Ki Karyana.

"Well, I'll tell you. Last Sunday I met a young man who said he was from the city. And then we just started talking about ordinary things until we came to the matter of the soul. It seemed that my new friend was very keen to know about matters of the soul. With what I know, which is still far from perfect, I tried to give him some explanations, according to my own experiences, which in the end appeared to satisfy him. So far as that matter is concerned, I think that is finished. However, the strange thing is that after we parted, my heart and body felt as if I had been separated from my pupil. Now I feel disappointment and regret that I am not with him. I feel that this condition perhaps indicates also that (what's really going on is that) I am not in fact separated from my pupil, but that I am left behind by my teacher:

"What is the reason that it has turned you about so completely, my husband?"

"The reason, in my opinion, is because my new friend's soul is of a higher order than mine. At present, one may say I know more about the matters of the soul than he does, but that's only because the cover of his soul has not been lifted as yet."

His wife nodded her head and said, "Oh, so if, for example, the cover of his soul had been lifted, your new friend would know even more and would have a dearer understanding about matters of the soul than you?"

"Yes. It may even turn out that I will become a companion of his on his path,' replied Ki Karyana.

"Well" said his wife, "if that is the case, wouldn't it be good if you met one another again?"

"We have talked about that. As a matter of fact, we have already agreed to meet on Sunday, the day after tomorrow."

"Would it not be even better, my husband" his wife asked, "if the meeting took place in our home so that you can both talk at leisure?"

"Yes, that's fine, but then you will have to prepare something to eat and to drink."

"But of course I will. Is not that the way I do when we have guests?" said his wife as she got up and went to her crying child.

On the agreed upon Sunday, Jaka Wisnadi came to the very spot where the meeting took place last week. Moreover, he arrived earlier than he had the previous Sunday.

Smiling, Ki Karyana approached the place where Jaka Wisnadi was sitting. "You came very early?" he said.

"Yes" replied Jaka Wisnadi also smiling, "because I was able to catch the first train."

"And now" Ki Karyana said, putting his hand on Jaka Wisnadi's shoulder, "I invite you to come with me to our home because there we can talk more leisurely."

"Is your house near by?" asked Jaka Wisnadi.

"Very," replied Ki Karyana, and pointing with his finger, he added, "There is our house. You can see it from here."

Jaka Wisnadi consented, and both men walked together in the direction of the house.

"What is the name of your village?" asked Jaka Wisnadi, as he continued to walk.

"Tuwuharjo" replied Ki Karyana.

"It seems to be very prosperous, and considering the size of the trees, this village must be rather old" said Jaka Wisnadi.

"Indeed, it is rather old. As a matter of fact, the founders of this village were my own ancestors. They are also buried in this village".

After a short while, Ki Karyana and Jaka Wisnadi entered the village. "There;' indicated Ki Karyana, "there's our house."

"That house with the stone fence?" asked Jaka Wisnadi.

"Yes, yes, that's the one. The house was left to me by my parents."

Before Jaka Wisnadi could reply, Ki Karyana went ahead and opened the gate, saying, "Welcome, my brother. Come into our home."

"Thank you;" replied Jaka Wisnadi just as a woman came out of the house, saying in a friendly manner, "Please come in."

Jaka Wisnadi replied, "Thank you" and entered the house.

Ki Karyana hurriedly invited him to sit down and introduced his wife to him. "This is my wife. I told her that I would invite you to come here"

"Is that so?" asked Jaka Wisnadi.

He turned to Mrs. Karyana, "May I introduce myself. I am Jaka Wisnadi."

"Thank you" said Mrs. Karyana as she moved to leave the room. "Will you excuse me for a moment? And please, do be seated".

"Thank you" said Jaka Wisnadi as he and Ki Karyana sat down.

"The air is very nice here" said Jaka Wisnadi, while observing the ornaments in the house.

"Hmm, as nice as can be expected in a village house" said Ki Karyana.

"Yes, but the situation and the atmosphere of this house are indeed very pleasant" said Jaka Wisnadi. "Have you lived here since you were little?"

"Yes, I have. This house was originally built by my late grandfather. From him it went to my father and from my father to me. So I was born in this very same house" replied Ki Karyana.

"Oh" Jaka Wisnadi said while looking with interest at the various parts of the house inside. "But how does it happen that the condition of the house is still good and solid when it is actually very old?"

"It is still good and solid because of continuous maintenance. There are actually different parts which have been replaced and repaired, but the form of the house itself has remained the same from the olden days till the present."

"Oh, is that the reason?" said Jaka Wisnadi, nodding in agreement.

"However,' Ki Karyana started, then stopped for a moment as he watched his wife coming from the interior of the house carrying a tray with cigarettes and matches. This was followed by drinks and some food.

After everything was arranged on the table, Ki Karyana invited Jaka Wisnadi to eat saying, "Please, I would like for you to try our simple food. This is the result of the my wife's efforts, and she wants very much to offer you something to eat. However, we hope you will forgive us because all this is only food from the village."

Jaka Wisnadi smiled and replied, "Oh, this is more than sufficient. I am feeling privileged. I did not have any idea at all that I would be offered so much food. Moreover, you both will be amazed and feel perhaps slighted if you come to my house later, because there you will receive food far less satisfying than this."

Then they drank and ate for a little while.

Ki Karyana explains the expansion of the senses and the development of the heart and mind. The question is asked if the soul can change. Jaka Wisnadi requests that he be shown the way towards receiving ilmu kejiwaan.

"It is this way, my brother" said Jaka Wisnadi while washing his fingers and drying them with a napkin. "Previously, you talked about the harmony and the disharmony between the soul and the working of the heart and mind, which are already educated. Regarding this problem, although it is not yet completely clear to me, I can already feel what has been explained. Now I would like you to give me some further clarification as to how it is that it can be said that the awakening of the soul will only come after the heart and mind have ceased their activities or have lost their power.

"Whereas the nature of man as a living being, like myself for instance, is to use his wits, his intellect, his initiative, his imagination, and his ideas. He must also have desires, courage, will, and other faculties. Yet these qualities belong to the nature of the heart and mind. I myself, for example, would not hesitate to say that my coming here to you has come about through the desire of my heart"

"That is right, that is right" said Ki Karyana. And after being quiet for a few moments, he continued, "It is indeed very difficult for the heart to understand this. In order to get some idea of what the situation is, I will now give you a picture of man's existence on this earth and his conditions. I will begin with the condition of man when his heart and mind have not yet been awakened. That is at the time when his heart and mind have not yet begun their activities, in infancy."

"At the time when man is still an infant, that is when he is newborn from his mother's womb, he cannot as yet use his wits or his intellect; neither does he have imagination or ideas, desires, courage, will and other faculties. However, in spite of all that, one can see that he can cry, smile, and frown; and it seems also that his senses are already alive. This can be seen from the fact that the penis or male sexual organ sometimes stands erect.

Moreover, this last fact is actually an indication that the nature of life consists of movements and cessation of movements, which means that the body will move if it is filled with urge, while the reason for the cessation of movement is because it is not filled with urge. To put this more clearly, at the time when the heart and mind of the baby do not yet work, his senses are already alive and are filled with urges, which come from the soul. Indeed, the senses are nearer to the soul and not the heart and the mind and their actions.

"For instance, when a baby cries, there must be something he is crying about, which means that something has happened, or there is a situation or condition which is not in harmony with his senses.

"Similarly, when he is smiling or frowning, there must also be some happening or situation which he feels as something bright or dark to his senses. All these in reality are different from the way the heart and mind perceive and act. Regarding this, I can say that the senses know of preexisting things and conditions, while with regard to the nature of the working of heart and mind, when they finally are able to act, it can be said that they are only able to perceive new things or new conditions.

"The senses of the baby who is still in that stage are being developed day by day. The sense which is in the mouth will develop so that he can taste and utter sounds -- which are still indefinite. The sense which is in the nose will develop so that he can smell. The sense which is in the eyes will develop so that he can see. The sense which is in the ears will develop so that he can hear. All these will become more perfect day by day, so that in the end they will be really perfect.

Notwithstanding that, his heart and mind will for a long time be unable to work. The heart and mind cannot begin to work until long after the senses have become alive and begun to work. For this reason, an infant, especially one who is just able to crawl, will feel or identify himself with whatever he sees. For example, when an infant sees a wheel spinning, his body will move too, and he will attempt to imitate the movements of the wheel if he is able to do so."

"Progressively, the heart and mind of that child will begin to work. The nature of the working of his heart and mind will, in the beginning, take the form of desires, will, courage, and the like. From that it will come to a higher stage in the form of having ideas, imagination, feelings and a sense of humility. At a still later stage will come thinking, wits, skill and initiative."

"With regard to the development of the nature of the working of heart and mind, which I have just described as passing through three stages, the first stage is usually experienced by the child between his first and nearly his eighth year of age; the second stage is experienced between his eighth and his sixteenth year, and then the third goes up to his twenty-fourth year. And so in the end, the development of the heart and mind, which has gone through the three stages, will become the instrument by which man lives in this world."

"And now I invite you to feel how far you can exert your effort and make use of your heart and mind in order to study and get to know the reality of spiritual (kejiwaan) matters."

Jaka Wisnadi nodded several times, sighed, and then said, "You are right, you are right. This must be the explanation. And if so, then what you said before must be right, that the inner feeling cannot emerge and be independent in its own place when it is forever being subjected to the influence of the heart in the various forms which you have just enumerated."

"Yes, indeed this is the reality," said Ki Karyana while offering his guest the cigarettes which were on the table. Jaka Wisnadi took a cigarette and started to smoke, and so did Ki Karyana.

Placing his cigarette on the ashtray, Ki Karyana said, "Essentially, the inner feeling can indeed become the way by which one can feel the force of the heart and the limits of its power. Therefore, when someone always follows his heart without hesitation, and does not like to pay attention now and then to the feelings of his physical body during those moments when his heart and mind have stopped their activities, then in the end, his inner feelings will become the instruments of his heart, and it will be more and more difficult for him to make a distinction between the various forces which continuously flow through his body. Besides that, it will also become more and more difficult for the inner feeling to come to life and to emerge in order to feel the force of the soul."

"So that is the situation" said Jaka Wisnadi. "Now;' he continued, "I will reiterate what you've said." Pausing a moment while he shifted in his seat, Jaka Wisnadi resumed, "Supposing that the inner feeling can already feel the force of the awakening soul. That inner feeling must also be able to feel what kind of soul already exists in the body, should it not? My question is, then, can that soul, in the end, change? Forgive me, I don't quite know how to express it to you, but what I mean is, can the soul change even when it has realized that it falls short and is not in harmony with the inner feeling?"

Ki Karyana smiled and replied, "Of course it can. Because if the soul is supposedly not in harmony with the inner feeling, then automatically the soul will not be able to be in accordance with the way the inner feeling works. That is the inner feeling of a man."

"To give an example, if there is a person whose soul is that of an animal while his inner feeling is that of a man because his outer appearance is indeed that of a man -- it is certain that his soul will feel that it cannot be in accordance with the inner feeling and that it cannot fulfill the need of the inner feeling which has come to life. And on the other side, the reverse is true for a man whose inner feeling has come to life without being influenced by the heart. After it has reached that stage, it will also be in need of a content which is in accordance with its situation, and that is the soul of a man."

"With regard to the animal soul, which heretofore had been its content, it will in the end be enveloped by the soul of a man (a human soul), which thereafter will reside in the body of that person."

"In spite of this, because the nature of life is not diminishing or retrogressing, but is broadening or progressing, the inner feeling of man, which has come to life as I pictured a moment ago, will not stop developing at that stage, but its field will become broader, and certainly it will be accompanied by the activities of his initiative and intellect, the nature of which are expansive and imbued by love for his fellow men. The soul of man, which already resides in that body, will again be enveloped by a still higher soul, which knows the realities of the situation, and lies in the past as well as in the ultimate future."

"These then, are my explanations, which I have given only because I felt compelled to contribute what little I could in the face of your need for some clarification regarding spiritual matters. Ultimately, how you take this is up to you."

Jaka Wisnadi smiled and said, "Well, I feel that I will never be able to express adequately how grateful I am to you for your willingness to give your most valuable and useful opinions. And besides that, you have entertained me so well." Jaka Wisnadi paused a moment and then added, "However, if you will permit me?"

Ki Karyana smiled and said, "Please. I invite you to continue to speak whatever is in your mind."

"If you will allow me, I would like to put one more request to you' If you do not have any objection and if you are of the opinion that I am already fit to receive it, I would like to ask you to open me. After that I shall be able to put into practice what is needed for myself, as you have explained to me. As to when you open me, I will leave that to your own wisdom as it is for you to decide," said Jaka Wisnadi earnestly.

Ki Karyana nodded and replied, "If it is possible, and barring any unforeseen obstacles, I invite you to return here next Saturday afternoon, so that we will have enough time at our disposal."

"Very well, I agree" said Jaka Wisnadi, rising. Ki Karyana also rose.

"Where is your wife? I would like to ask her permission to leave;' said Jaka Wisnadi. Ki Karyana called his wife who soon appeared.

Jaka Wisnadi said," I would like to ask your permission to leave, Madam."

Mrs. Karyana asked, "Must you go so soon? Won't you to stay the night with us and go home tomorrow morning"

"Perhaps on another occasion. Today I have to go back as soon as I can" replied Jaka Wisnadi. "But" he continued, "I would like to thank you very much for your hospitality and the very kind way in which you have received me."

"Oh, it is nothing. It is all that we in the village are able to do" replied Mrs. Karyana.

Jaka Wisnadi then took leave from Ki Karyana and his wife. Ki Karyana accompanied him to the limit of the village.

Shortly afterwards, Jaka Wisnadi arrived back home in Rochanadi City. From the moment he returned home and on into the week, his body was filled with a sense of well being, and his heart was happy because he had gained much from his meeting with Ki Karyana. Moreover, he had been promised that he would be shown the way towards receiving the ilmu kejiwaan.

Sri Ruhanasari is confused about her pending marriage and whether the partner who has been selected is a true match.

In the back verandah of a mansion between the main building and the back part of the house, a beautiful young lady was sitting on a sofa, deep in thought. In front of her, a middle-aged maidservant, Sayem, was sitting on a small chair.

For a long time the maidservant looked at the young woman in front of her. Then, with a troubled expression she asked, "Hmm. What is the matter with my mistress? What is the reason that you seem to be so sad? Does my master, Bei Kawanaputra, not suit my mistress' wishes? Besides having good looks, he is diligent and clever, and he also occupies a high position."

The young woman sighed and said, "I don't know, my nurse, but I am feeling confused all the time."

"What are you confused about, my mistress? I hope you can tell me. Perhaps I might be able to give some advice to calm your thoughts," the maidservant said.

"I think your advice or opinion will not be of any use, since I heard the matter (of my betrothal to Bei Kawanaputra) has been already decided upon" the young woman replied.

"Oh," said the middle-aged woman, "if that is the case, then certainly everything has been thoroughly taken into consideration, because your father is lacking nothing in wisdom"

"Yes, indeed, but seemingly my father has only considered his high position and his wealth."

The maid servant nodded her head and after pausing a little while said, "Certainly, that is as it should be, and what else should be taken into consideration but those things, because what one strives for in this world are Harta (wealth), Daya (power) and Winasis or Kepandaian (skill). Harta actually means wealth, daya is in reality position or rank, and winasis or kepandaian means intelligence. Actually, my master Bei Kawanaputra does have a high position; he is clever as well as wealthy. On top of all that, he is also good looking, lively, and eloquent."

"Hmm" sighed the young woman. "What you said may indeed be sufficient for other people, and as the saying goes, 'What more should you want if you could marry a man who is wealthy and clever and has a good position?' But were it up to me, those matters would not be my priorities, because what I am looking for is the true match. That later you may become rich and may achieve a high position is for me a secondary question."

Then the maidservant asked, "Well what is it then, if in the end the couple does not become rich and does not achieve a high position while their marriage was also called a match?"

The young lady replied, "Well, such a situation dearly indicates that their marriage has not been a true match. If they were a true match for each other, then no matter what the circumstances were, the couple would always be in a situation fitting to them, or they would always come into the right situation as if it were by chance. The meaning of being in the situation befitting to them is that they will be in the situation or in a place which is in harmony with them. Such is the meaning of the words, 'being in the right place.' The truth is that a true match will enable them to have prosperity and happiness in their life. With regard to the size of their wealth or the degree of their affluence, those things will be in harmony with the destiny and their luck which they carry with them."

"Oh my goodness. My mistress is very wise in talking. Since when did you take instructions?" the servant asked.

"I never had an instructor, I got my knowledge from books only" the young lady replied.

"Oh, books can talk to people and give them advice?" asked the servant.

The beautiful young lady who looked like the heavenly maiden Retna Supraba (a figure from the Javanese mythology) was compelled to smile and say, "Not one. There is no book which can talk. The one who talks is the reader himself"

"Mm hmm" said the servant mockingly, "then what do you want now, since we have already begun this discussion?"

The beautiful young lady became sad again and asked, "What can be done now, since the matter has been the will of my parents, and as far as I am concerned, I can only listen and obey?"

"Oh, my Lord" said the servant. "How heavy is the trial of your life." After pausing a while, she added, "Would you be able to lead a peaceful and contented life later on?"

"Hmm. I cannot picture that now. However, I will try my best;' the young lady replied. Then she stood up and said, "All right, my dear nurse, the night has come now, and you have to put on the lights"

Then the two women entered the house.

Three close friends discuss the true match of the bride and bridegroom. One of them, Ki Rasasudarma, explains the way for parents to know in advance whether the child concerned will find happiness in his or her marriage.

After days and months had passed, the day came when Sri Ruhanasari, the young and beautiful girl, was married to Ngabei Kawanaputra, a rich, handsome, and easygoing young man with a high position, who was about thirty years old.

At their wedding party, a great number of guests came to celebrate, due to the fame of Ruhanasari's parents, Ngabei Jasmandriya, who had many friends.

The guests sat in groups that had been well arranged. Among these groups there was one which was different from the others. This one group was situated in a corner and consisted only of three persons. It seemed that the guests sitting there had come from out of town, and all of them were already rather old.

One of these guests asked his friend on his left, "What is the outcome of your testing regarding the bride and bridegroom, Brother Candra?"

Ki Candralukita smiled. "You are rather funny, brother. Do you presume this place to be a training place?"

"Oh, no, I do not mean that, but since we often talk about such matters, I think that it does not matter at all if we also discuss it right here" replied Ki Pranawasita. He looked at Ki Rasasudarma who was older and asked, "Am I right, brother?"

"Well, I think that it does not matter at all, provided that our discussion will not be heard by the host" Ki Rasasudarma replied, smiling.

"Now, Brother Candra, what do you say since Brother Rasasudarma also agrees with my proposal?" queried Ki Pranawasita.

"All right, brother" Ki Rasasudarma suggested, "please follow Ki Pranawasita's wish."

Ki Candralukita smiled. "What do you really mean, brother?"

"I would like you to observe the signs of both bride and bridegroom." Ki Pranawasita explained.

"Then, after you have examined them, I ask you to decide whether both bride and bridegroom are true mates. Because, if the marks which symbolize the character and behavior of the two do not suit each other, it means that the one symbolizes this kind and the other another kind of character. Usually in the end they will find happiness in their married life."

"All right then,' Ki Candralukita said, bowing his head. Then, lifting his head again, he continued, "I feel that it is not necessary to analyze each sign in detail, so I will just take the most important ones, the signs from the chin upwards and from the chest downwards, also the legs and arms.

"Regarding the bridegroom, the marks from his chin upwards show that he is a clever person, his ideas reach very far, but he cannot limit himself. His heart's wish is very great, but often he becomes annoyed. He gets angry easily, but in spite of that, he still has a kind nature. He can receive teachings quickly, but often he becomes envious, and also he tends to be false or unfaithful. He talks a great deal, but sometimes he tells lies. He does not like to make real efforts or to work hard, but he likes to criticize and interfere in other people's business. He is rich and dares to do any kind of work, but he has a heart of stone and will follow his own truth, his own opinion. Besides that, he is ruthless and has no feeling of pity"

Ki Candralukita paused a moment. "The signs on his chest downward" he continued, "show that he is arrogant and conceited, but his feelings are often doubtful. He likes to have nothing to do but wishes so many things. He is full of pretensions, and often he comes to grief through his own posturing.

"As for the bride, her mind is very sharp, clever, and she is full of initiative. Her mind is broad and her heart noble. She has feelings of pity and compassion for her fellow men. She is very quick in receiving guidance and teachings, and she always remembers them. She is honest and simple and does not like to be praised. She dares to face difficulties. She is very sharp and quick in receiving the indications of life and is very obedient to her parents. She is patient and tolerant in aiming for her objectives. She is very humble and does not like to discriminate among her fellow men. She likes to give to charities and to help others."

"Well" exclaimed Ki Pranawasita, "what you're saying can be compared to the difference between heaven and earth. So, what will happen to them in the end, brother, because they cannot be suited to each other nor can they become true mates?"

Ki Candralukita smiled. "I do not know about that, brother. I leave it to you to read its meaning and draw your own conclusions."

"And what is your own opinion, Brother Pranawasita? asked Ki Rasasudarma.

"Well, you caught me at the right time, Brother Rasasudarma" Ki Pranawasita replied, smiling. Ki Rasasudarma laughed silently. "All right, all right, but I hope that you will not be disappointed, because I can only give a very poor opinion".

"That does not matter" Ki Rasasudarma responded. "Please begin and we will listen to what you have to say."

"It is this way, brothers" Ki Pranawasita began. "Regarding the bridegroom, in my testing I see a city or town in the air. This means that his aspiration is very great and high, but because the city if still in the air, in reality it is still very far away from realization. And the city is still covered by a thick cloud. Above the country concerned, there is also a black, thick, very great, and wide cloud. It means that although it is still in his imagination, his wish and expectation is already very great and there is already a plan in his mind that if his wish can be fulfilled, he will try to keep the city for himself, so that nobody can share the power or authority with him.

"Further, there is a wide road, going straight from the north to the south of the city, and this road cuts the smaller roads which it encounters. The wide road leads to a big house. This house seems to be the biggest of all the houses. The smaller roads of the city are still wider if you compare them with the small roads in the villages. But the funny thing is that, after coming out of the town, the wide road seems to be smaller and smaller, and it seems to be neglected, which can be seen by the holes, bubbles, and various litter everywhere along the street. This means that he aims very high for himself, but he is ruthless. He is willing and able to suppress the influences of others who wish to help their fellow men. Because the efforts of those who wish to help are suppressed, the lives of those who are under his power lose their freedom and become full of suffering. If such a character is possessed by a man who works in an office, it will follow that the person who becomes the head or the boss will only think about his interests and benefits while the interests and benefits of his subordinates will be neglected. Such an attitude will finally provoke trouble and difficulties among his subordinates."

"Concerning the form of the great house mentioned before, it is big and high, but its form is peculiar. The lower part of the house has only a few doors while the upper part has many doors and is full of furniture, and ornaments. The lower part of the house has very little furniture which is of poor quality. The stones and walls of the house, although they are quite solid, are still covered by iron fences and barbed wire. All this shows that he would like to be strong and hold a high position by himself. He does not like to be made equal to others. The few doors in the lower part of the house show that he gives only very little freedom to his wife and anybody else whose life depends on him."

"As for the many doors in the upper part, these show that as far as he is concerned, he acts and does just as he likes without considering the interests or the feelings of others."

"The many pieces of furniture and the ornaments there indicate that he always shows the best side of himself. And the few pieces of furniture and ornaments in the lower part indicate that the best side of his wife and other people who are under his power are hidden by him so that nobody can know them. And if it happens that somebody can know about them, he will always try to show the worst side to them. The solidity of the house and the meaning of the iron fences, which are covered by barbed wire, indicate that although his position is already strong, his heart is still full of doubts."

"Further, such a great house should actually have many inhabitants, but it seems not be to so. There are only one or two people in the house. It means that, although his position is already very strong, he cannot yet become the protector of his family or relations."

"I will go only this far in discussing the signs of the bridegroom," Ki Pranawasita said.

Then pausing a moment, he continued, "As far as the bride is concerned, in my testing I see a big wide house. It has many pillars, that are big and round. It seems that the house is made of white marble. It has a very wide front veranda. In front of the house there is quite a wide yard. In this yard there are many small footpaths and on both sides of these footpaths there are various kinds of flowers. In lovely places between the flowers and under the shade of the trees, there are beautifully made iron chairs. In the middle of the yard in front of the house, there is a wide pool, which is also made of marble. The pool is surrounded by various kinds of flowers, which are arranged with exquisite taste. In the middle of the pool there is a statue made of marble in the form of a flying eagle. From the wings and the beak of the bird there flows a very clear stream of water into the pool."

"Inside the house, every piece of furniture and all the ornaments are arranged in harmony with the house and its surroundings. The forms of the furniture are simple, but they are quite strong and solid. And those in the back part of the house are also about the same."

"It seems that the inhabitants of the house, and especially those of the outbuildings, are numerous and besides that, they are all wearing beautiful clothes." Ki Pranawasita leaned back and his friends waited quietly for him to continue.

"Now, the meaning of all this is that if you compare the house with a body, then it means that she is already beautiful in nature, and this beauty is enhanced by her clothes, which are lovely and in perfect taste."

"She has a great sense of responsibility, is sympathetic to the sufferings of others, and is able to face any situation that might arise."

"She is wise, and her heart is very strong and solid. She likes to mingle with her fellow men, is generous, and can become the protector of her family and relations."

"The wide yard, which is planted with various kinds of flowers, indicates that she is very fond of providing facilities for educational purposes, and she likes to work with her friends in a manner useful to the general public."

"The pool and its accessories indicate that her heart is really clean and cool like the water that flows from the bird into the pool."

"The eagle symbolizes that she has a great personality and has great influence, and she is also always in front. She is a pioneer and can always give consolation and peace of mind to those who are ill and are in great difficulties."

"The meaning of the pieces of furniture, which are in the house-the main house as well as the outbuildings -- is that she has not the character of hiding the worst and showing the best, which is in accordance with the saying that 'The good will be seen and the bad will be discovered."

"The strength and solidity of the furniture shows that her heart is strong and solid, and she is not easily influenced. Further, the many inhabitants of the house mean that she likes to collect poor people and lead them to a better life."

"That is the result of my testing about the bride and bridegroom" Ki Pranawasita said. "I think that it does not differ very much from the testing of Brother Candralukita."

Ki Rasasudarma nods his head several times and smiled. "Well, in fact, your opinion and that of Brother Candralukita do not differ at all."

"Thank you,' Ki Pranawasita replied. "And now, what are the results of your own testing, Brother Rasasudarma, because... I am sorry...you are the eldest among us, so your opinion must be dearer than ours."

"You are rather funny, brother;' Ki Rasasudarma replied. "What has been explained by both of you is already enough. So what is the need to ask for another opinion, if it will also will be different from the others?"

"Yes, that is indeed right" Ki Pranawasita acknowledged. "But anyhow, it will be still different if we get advice from an elder brother, because at least the opinion of an elder brother will strengthen the convictions of our hearts. Is it not so, Brother Candralukita? I think that you also would like to hear what Ki Rasasudarma has to say, would you not?"

Ki Candralukita smiled, "I will just follow along and leave it to the will of Brother Rasasudarma."

Ki Rasasudarma sat silently for a few minutes. Then, he began to speak. "According to me, all that has been said by both of you is already right. Because, indeed, a living being could not be the same, one with the other. To be more dear, looking for the right and the best one is in fact very difficult. And it can be said that such is very rare to be found."

"That is why looking for a right partner for our own children is not an easy matter. Because, so many times, men allow the marriage of their children with only consideration from the mind and heart. Outwardly they already look as equal, if measured from their positions, their wealth and blood. In reality, there are many marriages of couples which are equal and harmonious outwardly, and yet in the end, they cannot be saved. There are also couples who are outwardly not in harmony, and yet in fact, they always find happiness and good fortune in life."

"Indeed, it is very difficult and complicated. So that is why it is not an easy matter to become parents. The present case is a good example. Who would think that bride and bridegroom are not true mates for each other? Outwardly, their positions, wealth and blood are quite in harmony and suitable."

"The proper way for parents to get their children married is that it must be known beforehand through testing what will happen with the children who are going to be married."

"If such testing can really be done free from the influences of the heart and mind, then the parents concerned will be able to know in advance whether the child concerned will find happiness in his or her marriage. Their spiritual condition must also be tested so that the children will not only find worldly happiness, but they will also find spiritual greatness and virtue in their marriages. That is the way for parents to get their children married so that the children will not only find worldly happiness but also spiritual happiness."

"Your explanation is very good for those who really understand about spiritual matters" Ki Pranawasita said, "but for others, who only follow the wishes of their heart and mind in looking for partners for their children because they are attracted by external conditions, it is not good. It is evident that the child who gets married in this way will experience a bad fate which can easily make the marriages of his children go wrong" He shook his head and added, "Such will be the fate of those whose marriages are moved only by the influences of the passion, heart, and mind. They will never find happiness in this world, and they will only find emptiness in the hereafter."

Ki Candralukita nodded in agreement. "What is said is indeed true for those who already do understand about the way of the kejiwaan. But for those who are not yet conscious of it, of course, it will be impossible for them to understand the reasons why, and it is also impossible for them to know the future good or bad fate of the children who have been married"

Ki Rasasudarma agreed. "That is why it is actually very difficult to become parents who can really find the true mates for their children. It is true that I have said that usually, when testing for the true mate of their children, they keep their mind blank. That means putting aside the influences of the passion, heart, and mind. They already think that if they do this they can get the truth. But in fact, such a way is not yet correct because the heart that is put aside is, in fact, still hiding in the inner feeling. So in reality, freedom from the influence of the heart only happens when the heart is forced to stop working."

"So there are two kinds of dearness in feeling;' Ki Pranawasita interjected. "I mean, there are two kinds of conditions in which the inner feeling can be freed from the influence of the passions, heart, and mind. First there is clarity of the inner feeling -- which is really free from the influences of the passions, heart, and mind. Second, there's a condition in which the influences of the heart, mind, and the passions are still hiding in the inner feeling."

"If what has been said by Brother Pranawasita is true;' Ki Candralukita wondered, "then which one is the best? I hope Brother Rasasudarma will not mind explaining this."

"Well," Ki Rasasudarma replied slowly, "this matter cannot be solved by way of discussion. It must be solved by way of a latihan kejiwaan which will be received at any time one gets a revelation from God to receive the awakening or the life of the inner feeling beyond expectations. This is why I can only suggest you find a man who can become the medium or channel through which you will be able to receive the contact I speak of by yourself."

After Ki Rasasudarma's reply, they stopped their discussion, for the dawn has already begun to break. Not long after, all the guests had left the party, including Ki Rasasudarma, Ki Pranawasita, and Ki Candralukita.

The marriage between Sri Ruhanasari and Ngabei Kawanaputra is not a happy one. Ngabei Kawanaputra becomes ill and dies.

Five days after her wedding, Sri Ruhanasari moved from her parents' house into her husband's home.

Time seemed to glide noiselessly by, and soon they had been married for three years, and still their union was not blessed with a child. Therefore, Ngabei Jasmandriya became very sad, for Sri Ruhanasari was his only daughter, and he was very anxious to have a grandchild.

Sri Ruhanasari, however, was not displeased with this state, and even prayed that she should not have a baby, for the marriage was not a happy one. She could not adjust herself to Ngabei Kawanaputra's way of life or agree with his philosophy. Her husband always followed his own desires, and he would rarely mingle with people of lower social status.

Sri Ruhanasari, on the other hand, was very much interested in helping those who were suffering, and she liked to observe and follow the events which cause changes in the life of people. Thus she had many visitors who sought her guidance and advice. She did not stint in her efforts to help people who were in difficulties. Her activities and interests, however, did not please her husband.

One day, Sri Ruhanasari had some lady visitors who sought advice concerning their problems. Sri Ruhanasari gave them quite satisfactory advice, which pleased them highly. After they left, her husband came to her.

"Well, have you finished serving your guests?" he asked, his face red, annoyance in his voice.

"Oh yes, I have finished," Sri Ruhanasari replied, her smile reflecting her strong character.

"Hmm. You are very strange. You enjoy doing this sort of thing a good deal,' he waved his hand in rather a contemptuous manner. "But when I ask you to go with me to a party to meet people of high position and to see excellent entertainment, you seldom will. It seems to me that you prefer to do only those things which bring you trouble."

Sri Ruhanasari bent her head momentarily, then, still smiling, she replied, "Yes, you are right, and I hope you will not be angry with me because I never do what you want." She paused and swallowed. "I think that man, while living in this world, should love and help his fellow man. The proper way to use this feeling of love is to help those who really need it. The feeling of love is to help those who really need it. The feelings of those who are in trouble and confusion will, of course, be chaotic. I can well imagine it, if it should happen to me. It is true that I have never experienced such a chaotic state.

I have been most fortunate. But I imagine I would be so very glad if I had someone to help me when I had to face trials and other difficulties in my life"

"Yeah" Ngabei Kawanaputra sneered. "That is what people who do not understand how to arrange their lives say, people who always rely upon others to help them. People who understand how to arrange their lives will always rely upon their own power and schemes instead of waiting for the help of others. This is why you must learn how to take care of yourself, because if you don't, you will experience a bad fate just like your guests," he said.

"What you say is true" Sri Ruhanasari replied quietly. "We ought not to rely upon the help of others. But, in fact, very few people can do anything without the help of others, even though this help may be in the form of a paid service. In reality, the servants of the rich man become his hands and feet, and he himself acts as their brain. On the other hand, seen from the point of view of the poor man, he forms the hands and feet, while the rich man acts as the brain. Thus it is true, indeed, that it is not right to expect and rely upon the help of others while not making any efforts oneself."

"Well]' Ngabei Kawanaputra exclaimed impatiently, "what is the benefit of all of this?"

"Oh, if you ask about the benefit, of course the benefit is very great" she replied seriously, although she realized that her words made no impression upon her husband. She continued, quickly, "The benefit cannot be felt immediately, but gradually, because of the extension of the radiance of the feeling, which will go farther and farther, until at last, this feeling of love will work in the feelings of many people, and if such a man receives a seed of life, then his child will have a noble character, and he in turn will be able to protect many people, and they will respect and love him."

Her husband interrupted her irritably.

"What difference does this make to my wish to mix with people of high rank, and to enjoy beautiful things? Will these have no influence if I happen to receive the seed of life? I think that in this way I will be able to receive such a seed that will later become a great man who will lack for nothing!"

"This also could happen;' she murmured,

"if this child, during his childhood, is surrounded by wealth and other means which enable him to complete his studies;' She continued more firmly now, "But if fortune goes against him, and he cannot continue his studies due to lack of money, then such habits as yours will only bring grief to the child. His heart will then be filled with conceit. He will act as if he is a great man, and behave as if he were rich, while in fact, his ability and capacity are quite limited, his rank or position is very low, and he lives poorly."

Color flowed into his cheeks at her reply. "Oh, you are very clever" he grumbled, and left the house to seek pleasure in town, as he usually did.

Sri Ruhanasari stared after her husband, then weakly sank into a nearby chair. She was distraught, and it was an effort to move. She sat quietly, only her breast moving up and down as she breathed.

"Oh my Lord, my God, what kind of fate do you give me?' she cried.

Finally, she retired to her room. She threw herself upon her bed and soon fell asleep. The servants discreetly dosed up the house when the clock struck eleven.

About one o'clock in the morning, Ngabei Kawanaputra returned from his wanderings. He hammered on the door until Sri Ruhanasari let him in.

"Why do you return so very late, husband?" she asked.

"Well, whenever I wanted to leave, they always prevented me;' he replied shortly.

"Shall I prepare you some food?" she asked.

"No thank you" he muttered, and went to his room where he changed into his pajamas and got into bed.

"Are you ill, husband?" Sri Ruhanasari inquired, going to him.

He drew a blanket up around him. "I just have a slight fever. Don't worry about me."

Sri Ruhanasari brought some medicine and, after preparing a cup of hot tea, she brought it to him. He drank it quickly.

"Please go to sleep, my dear" he urged. "Tomorrow I will be all right again"

Sri Ruhanasari did not follow his instructions. Instead, she rubbed his legs, which were quite hot. Gradually she became tired and fell asleep beside his legs.

In the morning, when she awoke, she was anxious and resumed rubbing Ngabei Kawanaputra's legs, which grew hotter. She remembered her dream and was extremely worried, her mind churning restlessly.

"How do you feel, husband?" she asked gently when he awoke.

"I am very hot" he whispered. "Shall I call the doctor?"

"All right, all right" he waved his hand weakly.

She went to the back of the house and called a servant. "Din" she whispered. "Go fetch the doctor quickly. Your master is ill."

About an hour later the servant returned with the doctor. He went immediately into Ngabei's room and examined him. When he had completed his examination, he spoke to Sri Ruhanasari, telling her that she must take great care of her husband. He left after giving her a prescription for medicine.

Ngabei Kawanaputra's illness did not improve. Although other doctors and specialists were called in, his condition did not respond, and after being ill for nine days, he was very weak and there seemed to be no hope for him.

His doctor spoke to Sri Ruhanasari softly. "I hope you will be strong in heart and that you will leave your husband in the hands of the Almighty God. I am only a doctor who has no power over life and death."

Sri Ruhanasari bit her lip and blinked back tears. The doctor returned to her husband who was already sinking. He folded Ngabei Kawanaputra's hands across his chest just as he died.

Sri Ruhanasari wept bitterly. Her mind and heart were filled with remorse and confusion. Fortunately, her parents and her in-laws were with her. Ngabei Jasmandriya, seeing his daughter in such a sad and troubled state, took her in his arms and comforted her.

Ki Rasasudarma and his Brother Ki Pranawasita visit each other after a long period. Ki Pranawasita states he is in love. Ki Rasasudarma expresses the concern that his Brother Ngabei !asmandriya has with his daughter Sri Ruhanasari.

So ended Sri Ruhanasari's married life with Ngabei Kawanaputra, just as had been predicted by the three guests who were present at her wedding party.

It had been a long time since Sri Ruhanasari had lived at her parents' house. There she became more active in working to help and guide people who needed help. Ngabei Iasmandriya felt guilty for what he had done to Sri Ruhanasari in the past. Therefore he did not dare to offend her or go against her wishes. He simply agreed and allowed her to do as she wanted. Sri Ruhanasari often went to distant places to help and guide women to form groups and work toward a better life.

Gradually her name became famous, and there were many men who were attracted by her and who loved her. They wanted to approach her, but did not dare, because many people said that Sri Ruhanasari did not want to marry unless she could find a man whose soul was in true harmony with hers.

Among those who were concerned about Sri Ruhanasari was one man who really cared for her. This was Ki Rasasudarma. One day, when absorbed in thinking about her condition, he was surprised to hear a knock at his front door. He got up hurriedly and opened it, to find Ki Pranawasita there.

"Ha, you really come at the right time, brother" Ki Rasasudarma greeted him. "Have you come straight from home or have you been somewhere else?"

"I have come straight from home, because I am longing to see you," replied Ki Pranawasita.

"Darling" Ki Rasasudarma called to his wife, "please prepare food and drink for Brother Pranawasita."

The two men sat in the front veranda and lit cigarettes. They sat for a moment, smoking quietly.

"How are you, brother?" Ki Rasasudarma asked. "I hope that you and your family are well."

"They are fine, thank you. I hope the same is true for you and your family"

"They are Well, thank you" Ki Rasasudarma nodded. "I am really very happy that you came, because I have something to discuss with you."

"What is it, brother, something important?" Ki Pranawasita asked.

"Not so very important, but we need to discuss it together" replied Ki Rasasudarma.

"What is it about, brother? Please tell me"

"It is this," Ki Rasasudarma began. He paused to take a deep drag on his cigarette. "Do you still remember the wedding party that we attended at Brother Jasmandriya's house? At that time the three of us -- you, Brother Candralukita and myself were discussing the married couple. Do you still remember it?"

Ki Pranawasita closed his eyes and tried to recollect. After a while he smiled. "Yes, I remember:'

"Do you know of their present situation?" Ki Rasasudarma asked.

"No"

"Strange!" exclaimed Ki Rasasudarma. "Don't you live close to them? I live far away, and yet hear all about them:"

"Although I am their neighbor, I very seldom see Brother ]asmandriya. So although we live near by, in fact we are far from each other,' replied Ki Pranawasita.

Ki Rasasudarma smiled and shook his head. "With whom do you mix then, brother, because as far as I know, you are very fond of associating with people?"

Ki Pranawasita bowed his head for a few moments, then looked straight at Ki Rasasudarma. "Frankly, brother, I am in love."

"In love?" echoed Ki Rasasudarma, his surprise plain in his voice. He moved closer to Ki Pranawasita. "With whom have you fallen in love, brother?"

"With none other than a way of spiritual awakening" he replied, flicking the ash from his cigarette.

"Hmm. It seems that you have a secret" said Ki Rasasudarma, as his daughter came in with food and drink. She placed it on the table and quietly left the men alone.

"It seems that you are different now;' Ki Rasasudarma continued. "I never heard you talk about a way of spiritual awakening before, brother. Do tell me more about it."

"Well, just now you said that you were going to tell me about something. Please, let us first talk about that. The subject about which you ask me can easily be discussed later."

Ki Rasasudarma agreed with his guest's wish. Taking a deep breath, he began. "About two weeks ago, Brother Jasmandriya came here. His intention, besides visiting me, was to talk about his daughter, Sri Ruhanasari. After the death of her husband about two years ago, it seems that she has preferred to remain single. There have been many who have asked for her hand in marriage, but she has always refused them and said that she does not intend to marry again yet. That was why Brother Jasmandriya came here. He was asking my opinion about his daughter."

Ki Pranawasita smiled. "Yah, if there is no one as yet who suits her, what can we do?"

"You are right, but her father, Brother Jasmandriya, is worried about her. The more so as Sri Ruhanasari often visits far away places.

"And it seems she looks more beautiful now than when her husband was alive."

"Hmm. It is really difficult. You always said that marriage is a very difficult problem. If we do not examine carefully in looking for a partner for our children, the result will be unfortunate. Now I can really understand what you meant when you said that. Also that the main purpose in examining the future partner for our children should be to make sure that there is harmony between their souls. The union should not be viewed from the point of view of the heart and mind."

Ki Rasasudarma nodded, and Ki Pranawasita finished his cigarette before continuing.

"The main strength of the partnership lies in the soul;' he said. "Because it is this that has the power. The feelings are only the channel through which the manifestations of the soul, which lies in our inner self, can be seen. The heart is only an instrument. The heart can only work if it receives power from the soul. The latter is the authority in our self. Outwardly it may look as if the heart works on its own, but in reality it can only work when moved by the soul."

"Therefore, if one's soul is already alive, its power, which causes the heart to move and act, will return to its source -- the soul. The heart's true nature is that of a servant. It will only act when ordered, and its desires will only arise if it is praised. Therefore, if the power that causes it to move has left it, the heart will return to its normal state."

Ki Rasasudarma listened carefully, his eyes half closed.

"Taking all this into consideration;' Ki Pranawasita continued, "it is no wonder that Sri Ruhanasari behaves in this way. It may well be that she is a great and high soul, and it is because of this that her activities are praised by many people. If her soul is of a great and high order, the possibility that she might do anything improper is very remote, because her heart will naturally only be moved by the power of her fine soul, and a fine soul will never lead one to do anything improper.

"Therefore,' Ki Pranawasita summed up, "I feel that the worries of Brother Jasmandriya are unnecessary. He has no reason to worry. But he is not to be blamed, because it could be that Brother Jasmandriya's soul is lower than that of Sri Ruhanasari, although she is his own daughter."

Ki Pranawasita speaks to Ki Rasasudarma of his acquaintance, Jaka Wisnadi. Ki Pranawasita continues his explanation of a true match.

Ki Rasasudarma was amazed. He was impressed by Ki Pranawasita's ability to utter such deep thoughts. Nodding his head, he took a deep breath.

"Your explanation is very clear, brother," he said. "I did not suspect that you had the ability to explain such matters so beautifully, since it is so long since we last met."

Ki Pranawasita smiled. "Ah, it is nothing, my friend," he replied. "It is really only a very poor explanation. Yet you consider it good. In fact, I am still in a state of uncertainty myself, and am still a beginner in spiritual matters."

"What? Don't talk nonsense? Ki Rasasudarma exclaimed. "How can you give such a clear explanation and yet consider yourself a beginner? Who is there, then, who is not a beginner? he asked seriously.

"Actually, there is such a person, but I do not feel it is necessary to mention his name, because he is really beyond belief."

"How do you mean he is beyond belief" Ki Rasasudarma asked.

Ki Pranawasita smiled. "The reason I say this is because the man who has become my guide and teacher is still very young. He is not yet married and is only twenty-nine years old."

"Well! Only twenty-nine?" Ki Rasasudarma whistled in surprise and moved closer to his friend.

"Yes, it is true, brother. Therefore my state can be compared to that of a buffalo suckling its own calf" Ki Pranawasita replied.

"Yes, yes," nodded Ki Rasasudarma.

"But it is not really so peculiar, brother, because God's revelation does not distinguish between young and old. Although a man may be still young, if he has an excellent and high soul, he will be able to receive the revelation of God. Such a young man is much better off than an old man such as myself: old, but full of emptiness. And it is worse if, when being in such a state, one talks and acts too much."

"You are absolutely right, brother" Ki Pranawasita replied, smiling.

"Because in fact I also am in such a state. So it is not strange that Sri Ruhanasari, although young and a woman, already possesses such an excellent character. As for her father's worries that her beautiful face may cause her to do something wrong and become involved in an improper situation, this could, of course, happen, according to normal calculations. But if she can find her true place as a person with a high soul, then she will certainly be able to differentiate right from wrong, and which impulses are moved by outside influences and which are moved by her own inner self. So there is nothing to worry about.

"If what she is doing can be compared to a way or an action, then Sri Ruhanasari is now seeking a man who really possesses the qualities of a male human being to be her future husband, a man who can bond her soul, who has a high soul himself, and who understands the Will of God."

Ki Rasasudarma was silent after his friend finished speaking. He nodded slowly. "Well, you are very perceptive, brother. I confess that I am willing to surrender, and would like to become a very backward pupil who knows that although he sits in the far corner, if beaten often enough, gradually also will be able to understand."

"Let us hope so, brother. I am glad and grateful that you intend to join us,' said Ki Pranawasita.

"What is the name of this man, brother ? Maybe I have heard of him"

His name is Jaka Wisnadi, from the country of Rachanadi. I have heard that outwardly he is a clever young man. By that I mean that he is well educated. But his knowledge and experience in spiritual matters were received through a latihan kejiwaan. The man who formerly was his guide, Ki Karyana, is now following him and is his assistant."

"No, I don't think I have ever heard his name, nor that of Ki Karyana" said Ki Rasasudarma. "I am sorry, brother. I feel I must return to the problem of Sri Ruhanasari. What will happen if she cannot find a man whose soul is equal to hers? Is it possible that she will not marry at all?"

"This could happen, brother, if in the future, after seeking here and there, she does not find a true partner. But in my opinion, this will not happen. Because if Sri Ruhanasari can really put herself in her own true place as a person having a high soul, there is not only one man who could become her true partner, but several in this world. The reason that she has not found one yet is that the world is very wide, and men do not live together in one place" Ki Pranawasita explained.

"It is possible" he continued, "that the man who should really become her husband lives in another place, or even another country. Of course the heart wishes to look for the easiest way and prefers to seek nearby rather than far away, because the heart has a selfish nature and will only seek its own pleasure. But if a man leaves it to the body, or the feeling of the body, then he will not be limited to neighboring places, but he will range over the whole world, because in fact this world is meant for the whole of mankind. But the world of the heart is very limited. It already feels strange and worries after passing the borders that exist in its world. And it will worry so much the more if it has to pass into realms beyond the world of mankind, where it will feel strange and lose all its pleasures. So in fact the way to look for a life partner is no different from the way to seek guidance in life or on the spiritual way. They cannot be separated because both have the same requirements and can be considered as one action."

Ki Rasasudarma nodded. "Well, so a man who marries, like myself and my wife, does in fact already follow the spiritual path?" he asked.

"Yes, it is so, brother, if in our married life we really understand the principles of life, so that we really know and can differentiate between the right and wrong aspects of our actions. But if we do not, that is, if we are not able to follow the indications of our feelings, then the result will be harmful, for we will not go forward, but backward, so that we will go further and further into the dark, not knowing where to go and unable to know the will of the feelings. So it is indeed in agreement with what you said to me. Do you still remember that?" asked Ki Pranawasita.

Ki Rasasudarma smiled.

"I can only talk, brother, for in fact I have not yet found the truth. When talking it seems as if I am a clever man who already knows everything, but in fact I am still seeking. Therefore, after hearing your explanations, I would like, if possible, to hurry and find the truth."

He stopped and invited Ki Pranawasita to eat the delicacies prepared for them.

"Please brother, try some more."

They stopped talking and rested and enjoyed the food and drink.

Ki Rasasudarma moves forward to meet Jaka Wisnadi. On his way he visits Brother Ngabei Jasmandriya who he finds has become ill.

Having enjoyed the simple entertainment, Ki Rasasudarma resumed the conversation.

"I too am happy that you have at last found a genuine teacher. If I may, I also would like to become his pupil."

"If you wish," Ki Pranawasita replied. "I hope you won't be disappointed, because at the moment Jaka Wisnadi is out of town. He is visiting Ki Karyana, so you will have to wait a while for your wish to be fulfilled."

"Oh dear," Ki Rasasudarma sighed. "How long will he be away? Is he expected home again soon?"

"I really don't know. I haven't had any definite news. Besides, when he arrives, he won't be going to my home. He is going to stay with Yudawarsita."

Ki Rasasudarma was rather surprised at this. "Yudawarsita, who lives on the western side of the river?"

Ki Pranawasita nodded. "That's the one."

"So Yudawarsita still needs spiritual guidance?" mused Ki Rasasudarma. "I wouldn't have thought so. I always get the impression from his talks that he understands everything about spiritual matters."

Ki Pranawasita smiled as he explained.

"I want you to know this. The very person responsible for Jaka Wisnadi coming to Dayamulia City, and my meeting him, is Brother Yudawarsita himself."

"Oh, I see. But why?" persisted Ki Rasasudarma.

"Because for six months Yudawarsita suffered from paralysis."

"So," Ki Rasasudarma exclaimed, nodding. "I suppose he was trying to get well. And it was Jaka Wisnadi who cured him, finally?"

"That's right," Ki Pranawasita replied.

"In that case, Jaka Wisnadi must also treat people and cure their illnesses?"

"The curing of an illness is not an end in itself, brother," explained Ki Pranawasita. "But the latihan kejiwaan does require, first of all, a healthy physical body. So after following the latihan kejiwaan for a time, our body will itself become healthy and strong. This is a bridge which must be crossed. It was due to the awakening of his inner feelings that Brother Yudawarsita was cured of his paralysis," he added.

"And now that he is healed, does he still continue with his Latihan?" Ki Rasasudarma asked.

"Of course he does, for now he knows its value."

"If this is so," Ki Rasasudarma asked, "will I eventually get rid of my breathing troubles?"

"You should, brother, but as you are already old, don't expect to be cured too soon."

"Oh. But what is the difference?" Ki Rasasudarma asked. "Why is its effect on younger people quicker than on the elderly?"

"Because, my friend, the condition of a young man can still be easily changed, whereas an older man can be compared with a ripe mango with its many tissues. Also the nature of each illness is surely different, one from another. Lastly, I feel your illness will take longer to be cured because it is in the lungs."

"Oh, really?" remarked Ki Rasasudarma. "I have been suffering from it for years, so I can understand when you say that it would take a long time for it to be cured. I don't really mind that, as long as I know that, in the end, it will go. But even that is not my final goal. However, if this sickness should leave me as I go towards my goal, then thanks and praises be to God!"

"I am glad that you see it that way," Ki Pranawasita said. "But we have talked enough for now, brother. May I have your permission to go home?"

"You are not in a hurry, are you? Won't you stay the night? I should like to continue with our conversation."

"Another day, my friend. There is something I must work on tomorrow morning," Ki Pranawasita explained.

"Oh, that's all right then,"

Ki Rasasudarma agreed. He got up and went inside. Soon he returned to the sitting room with his wife.

"You surely are not in a great hurry, brother. Isn't it better for you to stay the night? asked Mrs. Rasasudarma repeating her husband's invitation.

"I am so sorry, sister, but I have to go home now. There is work I have to finish tomorrow morning,'' Ki Pranawasita replied.

He got up and said good-bye. Ki Rasasudarma accompanied him as far as the gate. Putting his hands affectionately on Ki Pranawasita's shoulders, he whispered,

"You won't forget brother, to let me know as soon as possible when the young man, Jaka Wisnadi, arrives."

"I will do that, brother."

Ki Rasasudarma stood alone outside his gate, watching his friend walk away. He did not go in until Ki Pranawasita had disappeared from sight.

After Ki Pranawasita left, so it is told, Ki Rasasudarma only looked forward to the time when he would hear from his friend that Jaka Wisnadi had arrived in the City Dayamulia For a time he stayed home instead of going out to visit friends and relatives, as he used to do.

It was not until two and a half months later that a letter from Ki Pranawasita arrived. It contained the .news that Jaka Wisnadi would be coming to Ki Yudawarsita's home. At the news, Ki Rasasudarma was exultant. Still holding the letter in his hand, he hurried to his wife.

"Look, dearest, I've got a letter from Brother Pranawasita. He says that Jaka Wisnadi is coming soon to Yudawarsita's house. If you don't mind, I would like to leave tomorrow."

"But, dearest, why the hurry? You may have a long wait. The date of his arrival isn't fixed yet," his wife replied.

"Yes, but I'm not going direct to Brother Yudawarsita's home. First I would like to visit at Brother Jasmandriya's a while. There is something special I want to discuss with him while I wait for Jaka Wisnadi's arrival."

"Oh, if that's what you want to do, then I agree," she nodded.

The next day Ki Rasasudarma set off. His journey was uneventful, but when he arrived before Ngabei Jasmandriya's home, he was startled to see a doctor leaving.

As Ki Rasasudarma was a very close friend of the Ngabei Jasmandriya family, he went straight into the house without any hesitation.

"Brother Rasasudarma! Please come in," welcomed Ngabei Jasmandriya. "I have been waiting quite a long time for you to come," he continued, getting up from his bed.

"You mustn't do that, my friend," Ki Rasasudarma objected.

"You mustn't try to stand up. I'll sit by the bed."

He pulled a chair to the side of the bed and sat down.

"Well, this is how it is," Ngabei Rasmandriya began with some difficulty. "I am suffering from a very strange illness. There is no apparent cause, but my heart often fills with fears and worries, and when this happens, my body feels weak and powerless. This is why I am trying to get some help. Perhaps you saw the doctor who was here just now to examine me?"

"Yes," Ki Rasasudarma nodded. "I met him at the gate. But where is Sri? he asked, looking around.

"She is in the middle of cooking, but she'll be here soon," Ngabei Jasmandriya explained.

"Oh, dear. I quite forgot to ask -- how are you, and your wife, and the children?"

"Thanks be to God, through. His Mercy, and your prayers and blessings, the whole family is well."

"All praises belong to God," Ngabei Jasmandriya said simply.

Then Sri Ruhanasari entered the room, carrying a tray with a glass of milk on it.

"Ah, Father Rasasudarma!" she cried with pleasure. "How are you? Everything going well?" She put the glass of milk on the bedside table.

"Very well, thank you, Sri. Everything is all right. I hope it is the same with you here."

"And Mother, and your children?"

"Oh, yes, they are all well. And I pray that peace be with you also."

"Thank you, Father," Sri Ruhanasari said, and took Ki Rasasudarma's bag. "May I take your bag to your room?"

"Of course, my child," Ngabei Iasmandriya interposed.

"Take it on to his room. Get it all ready for Father Ki Rasasudarma. Clean it and arrange it as well as you can, because he is going to stay here for quite a while. Isn't that right, brother?

"Well, not quite," replied Ki Rasasudarma. "I really can't stay for long, because actually there is something very important ahead of me."

Sri Ruhanasari had already gone on to prepare the room for their guest.

"What is it, brother, that is so important? Ngabei Rasmandriya asked.

"Well, I'll tell you. Two and a half months ago, Brother Pranawasita came to see me at home. Apart from just visiting my family, he told me that he had met someone who was a true jurupenerang (teacher, or one who expounds the truth). The name of this jurupenerang is Jaka Wisnadi. He is still a young man, Brother Pranawasita tells me, probably he is the same age as my son."

"This is really interesting," Ngabei Jasmandriya said. "I too would very much like to become a pupil of this young man."

"Yesterday I had a letter from Brother Pranawasita" Ki Rasasudarma went on.

"He told me that this young Wisnadi will arrive at Brother Yudawarsita's home in four days' time."

"That's quite a surprise," exclaimed Ngabei Jasmandriya.

"So Brother Yudawarsita is still in need of a Jurupenerang, even though his words and assertions are so impressive?"

"Apparently so. Actually, I was as much surprised as you are, but after I found out the reason, I came to believe it."

"What was it, my friend, that made Yudawarsita so interested in Jaka Wisnadi that eventually he followed him?" asked Ngabei Jasmandriya.

"His illness, his paralysis. He had been suffering from it for six months. He tried everything for a cure, and finally he met this young man, Wisnadi."

"So Brother Yudawarsita really just went for a healing treatment?"

"That was what he first intended," Ki Rasasudarma explained. "But then he realized that the cure of his paralysis was merely a stepping-stone, something he had to pass on the way. So when he was healed, he decided to continue with the latihan."

"Now I see what you mean. For a person like me it would also surely be good to join you, brother, in your decision to follow this?" Ngabei Jasmandriya asked.

"But wait a minute...you mustn't think I am persuading you in any way," cautioned Ki Rasasudarma.

"No, not at all," Ngabei Jasmandriya assured him.

"If, for instance, I had not heard about it from you, brother, but instead heard someone else speak about it, I would still do all that I could to find it. And for this reason: apart from my wish to be cured of this strange illness, I feel that spiritually I am an empty being. It is very likely that your coming here, dear brother, is due to the Will of God, so that through hearing about this from you, it will be possible for me to find true knowledge."

"I am glad you have spoken this way. As for myself, I am really still very green in spiritual matters. And even more so if you remember that what is first required by the latihan is a healthy physical body. So I deeply wish to begin and follow this latihan as soon as possible, " Ki Rasasudarma said.

Ngabei Jasmandriya got up from his bed and sat on a chair opposite his friend.

"This is very strange, brother," he said. "While listening to you talk about the latihan, I feel as if my body has become well again. And my heart, which usually beats with worry and fear, has now become quiet." He shook his head cautiously, then nodded.

"Yes, perhaps this is the way to my physical well being. And the way to find a real direction or guidance."

"I think so too brother," agreed Ki Rasasudarma. "My heart is completely convinced."

Sri Ruhanasari entered the room, stopping their conversation.

"Dinner is ready," she announced. "Would you come in, Father?" Seeing her father sitting in a chair, she was quite surprised.

"Well, so you can sit up now, Father! Since you feel better, I'll serve your dinner at the table so that you can dine with Father Rasasudarma."

She went out and prepared a place at the table.

"Father, will you please ask Father Rasasudarma to the table? I have prepared the meal for you both," she said, then slipped out of the room again.

Ngabei Jasmandriya and Ki Rasasudarma rose from their chairs and walked together into the dining room. Their discussion during the meal is not worth recounting, but when they had finished, the two old men returned to the room where they had been sitting before.

Ki Rasasudarma is ready to take leave from Ngabei Jasmandriya. Ki Pranawasita, joins them. Together they discuss the nature of illness as Sri Ruhanasari joins in.

After they have been sitting for a while, Ngabei Jasmandriya reopened the conversation.

"May I ask you, brother, how old is this jurupenerang, Jaka Wisnadi?"

"Very young" replied Ki Rasasudarma.

"According to Brother Pranawasita, he is only twenty-nine. So when we actually go to him for guidance, our situation may be compared with the 'calf which suckles its mother.'

"Yes, my brother, but that doesn't matter, for although he is still young, he is evidently in possession of something higher. There is also something good in the fact that you and I will be guided by a person who still has his full energies and faculties,' Ngabei Jasmandriya said.

Ki Rasasudarma smiled.

"I should think there are also some disadvantages. If we are led by a young person, it may be difficult for us to follow in his steps, because a young man is always in a hurry and much quicker in his actions than we are"

"I have the feeling that if young Jaka Wisnadi has truly reached perfection in his spiritual knowledge, the way he guides will not correspond with what you have just envisioned. According to what people say, a man who has reached perfection has, among other things, the ability to judge and measure the strength and condition of others."

Ngabei Jasmandriya, (feeling the lateness of the hour) said.

"Well, it's time for you to get some rest now, brother. Tonight or tomorrow morning we'll continue our discussion."

The suggestion suited Ki Rasasudarma, so they parted.

He went to the room that had been prepared for him and Ngabei Jasmandriya lay down again in his bed.

What they talked about that evening and the next few days does not need telling. But on the fifth day of his stay there, Ki Rasasudarma packed his bag, and just after midday, got ready to leave for the city of Dayamulia.

He advised Ngabei Jasmandriya to stay at home because of his illness, promising that he would talk to Jaka Wisnadi and invite him to visit the sick man.

Just as Ki Rasasudarma was about to leave, Ki Pranawasita arrived.

"What a good thing I didn't go. If I had we would have missed each other]' Ki Rasasudarma said.

"Who told you that I was here?" he asked.

"I went yesterday to your house, but you weren't there. Your wife told me that you were here," explained Ki Pranawasita.

"Oh, that's good"

sa

id Ki Rasasudarma, nodding. Taking his friend's arm, he went with him into the house.

"Come, brother, let's sit down for a while. Brother Jasmandriya is ill."

"What's the matter with him?" asked Ki Pranawasita.

"

The atmosphere in this house is very quiet:'

"He is often frightened and worried;' Ki Rasasudarma whispered as they entered the house.

Hearing that Ki Rasasudarma had returned, and seeing him enter with Ki Pranawasita, Ngabei Jasmandriya at once got up and sat on his bed.

"Well, you haven't gone after all, and now Brother Pranawasita is here with you!" he exclaimed. "How are you, brother? Is everything going well with you?"

"Thanks to your prayers, we are all well,' replied Ki Pranawasita.

The two guests each took a chair and sat beside the bed. Ngabei Jasmandriya got down from his bed and joined them.

"I am fortunate that you have come here," Ngabei said, with a rather heavy voice.

"I am very happy, although my heart still gets frightened and worried often"

Ki Pranawasita smiled at this.

"Yes, brother" he said. "Yes. But what is there to say, for we are all just creatures -- being ill, being well, being happy or being afflicted by sorrow -- all these are just normal things that happen to us. What is important is that we should never forget the 'point of the compass' in our lives"

Ngabei Jasmandriya listened carefully to his friend and said to himself,

"Ki Rasasudarma's account of Brother Pranawasita seems to be right. He is now quite different from what he used to be."

Then he spoke aloud,

"What do you mean by the 'point of the compass of life' my brother?"

"The source of all of our strength -- that which enables us to move" replied Ki Pranawasita.

Ngabei Jasmandriya nodded slowly.

"What does one need in order to recognize this, brother?" he asked.

"When it is possible to feel the distinction between influences which come merely from the heart and those awakened in us by the inner feelings," Ki Pranawasita replied with a smile.

Ngabei Jasmandriya smiled to himself.

"You say when it is made possible to distinguish between the two influences. This, of course, is true for someone who can, but what about someone who can't distinguish?" he asked.

"He needs to be with other people. Because, by being with others, he may meet someone who has been blessed by receiving the powerful Life Force," explained Ki Pranawasita.

"So, in that case, my brother, there must be someone to act as a go-between?" asked Ngabei Jasmandriya.

"Yes, indeed" Ki Rasasudarma interjected.

"What Brother Pranawasita has said is true, because I've had proof of this myself. If we try on our own to calm or quiet our feelings by means of the desires of our heart, the end result is that we don't get anywhere. Quiet acquired in this way is not really true quiet of the feelings. It is a quietness resulting from the powers of the heart being turned over"

"Well, in that case, there is no need for the heart to interfere in the latihan, brother?" asked Ngabei Jasmandriya.

"That's right. Because if the heart interferes, the working of the latihan won't be there at all,' replied Ki Pranawasita.

"If that is how it is, then my heart, which often feels troubled, will eventually be separated from the movements of the feelings. And so it will not influence the inner feelings in the latihan,' surmised Ngabei Jasmandriya.

"That's right," Ki Pranawasita said. "As time goes on, it will be dear that the heart is put aside. And if you are lucky, it is just this situation which will bring about the cure of your illness"

Their conversation was interrupted as Sri Ruhanasari brought refreshments into the room.

Smiling, and with a bow of her head, Sri Ruhanasari greeted Ki Pranawasita.

"Welcome to our house, Father. How are you? Everything all right, I hope" she said, putting the refreshments down on the table.

"Thank you, Sri, we are all very well and lacking nothing. I hope it is the same with you," Ki Pranawasita replied.

"Thanks to your prayers, Father, all is well," Sri Ruhanasari said. Then, before leaving the room, she added, "Would you excuse me, Father? Please help yourself to these simple refreshments".

Yes, certainly I will, Ki Pranawasita said.

"Thank you. I feel so much at home here."

After Sri Ruhanasari had left, Ki Pranawasita turned to Ngabei lasmandriya.

"It looks to me as though Sri seems quite happy and content to stay at home. Am I right, brother?"

he asked.

"No, I am afraid not, She only just returned home last week from traveling about"

replied Ngabei Jasmandriya rather sadly. He paused a moment and gestured in the air,

"Well, actually, brother, I feel rather sad about Sri. I have often suggested that she marry again, but she always refuses. And there have been quite a number of men who have come to ask her."

"I know I must not force her again" he went on. 'and also I am frightened at the thought that something might happen again like before. This situation confuses me. Always I feel worried at heart about her because she is a woman. Particularly now that she often travels to distant places. I am afraid she might be tempted."

Ki Pranawasita lowered his head for a moment. He raised it slowly before he spoke.

"I don't think so, brother, because Sri Ruhanasari, although outwardly she looks no different from other women, she has an inner strength which is very different from theirs.

"Being her father, it is perfectly natural that you should worry about her. First, because she is alone now, and second, because she is beautiful.

"But your worries and anxieties about her, my friend, won't help. just the opposite --- they disturb your heart and mind to such an extent that you become ill. In reality they are the very cause of your illness, these frequent fears and worries and anxieties

.

"What is best, of course, is that Sri should be given guidance which corresponds to her own nature."

"Oh yes, that is obvious" Ngabei Jasmandriya said.

"But it seems to me that she does not pay attention to any advice that I give her. Sometimes," he confessed,

"

she even returns my advice or points out my own faults, saying that I'm the one who acts in a hurry, that I'm the one who doesn't stop to think whether an action is correct or in accordance with what is right."

Ki Pranawasita smiled at this.

"Well, that looks like it. Knowing her, Sri is really not one who can easily be persuaded. It is very difficult for her to submit to anything that does not agree with her feelings" he said.

"Yes, quite right, that's true, brother,' said Ngabei Jasmandriya.

"I would like to leave it to you to try to give her some advice sometime this afternoon,he added.

"And let's hope that you will convince her that she should not travel quite so much."

"Oh, don't say that" protested Ki Pranawasita.

"I am only a beginner, and it is far beyond me to be able to give guidance to someone else which could possibly touch or move his feelings."

"That doesn't matter. I just pray you are willing to share some of your advice with Sri" Ngabei Jasmandriya said.

"But first, my brothers, let us all take some rest now."

Ki Pranawasita and Ki Rasasudarma agreed with this suggestion and left to go to their own rooms which had been prepared for them. Ngabei ]asmandriya lay back clown on his own bed.

Just before nine o clock that evening after having their meal, the three men retired to the sitting room. Sri Ruhanasari was still busy, coming and going, clearing things from the table and bringing desserts for the men. But when she had finished doing all this, her father called to her.

"Sri, come and sit here together with us so that you also may listen to what Father Pranawasita and Father Rasasudarma have to say."

Smiling, Sri Ruhanasari bowed her head and sitting near her father, joined their group.

Ngabei Jasmandriya opened the conversation.

"Can you give us some further explanations concerning why it is that the latihan kejiwaan can also cure illnesses?" he asked.

Ki Pranawasita replied,

"I hope that you will not misunderstand. In reality, this spiritual exercise -- latihan kejiwaan -- does not aim at curing illnesses, but a man's receiving as he follows the latihan kejiwaan cannot go smoothly if his body is not healthy.

"Therefore, the first thing he should receive in following it is his physical health or his cure.

"The reason is this: A physical body afflicted by illness is like a road which has many holes and a very rough surface. When such a road is used by a vehicle, this vehicle cannot take a straight course. It always has to zigzag to the right and left.

"In order for this vehicle to go straight and smoothly, the holes and the rough surfaces of the road should first be made good or corrected.

"To turn now to the latihan kejiwaan, it should be clear that the healing of the afflicted body and feelings is something important and essential."

"Well," said Ngabei Jasmandriya,

"in that case, it is very necessary for a person like me, who is suffering from an illness, to begin following the latihan kejiwaan soon."

"Actually it is not only people who are suffering from illnesses who should follow the latihan kejiwaan," Ki Pranawasita explained.

"People who appear to be healthy also need to follow it. A man may be healthy physically. but it is still doubtful whether he is really healthy outwardly and inwardly, because he may be filled inwardly with some sickness.

"Moreover, there is a kind of sickness which may not have any form medically. It may show no outward signs whatsoever, but still the sickness is there. It is essentially even more dangerous, and this is commonly spoken of as a sickness of the soul.

"This kind of illness badly needs healing, but to do this, great care must be taken, for it is not at all easy to know the signs. They can be known only by spiritual means.

"If this sickness is to be observed in the normal way -- that is, from an outward point of view -- one can say that a person has such a sickness only after he has done something harmful or disturbing to other people, or has acted 'inhumanly; as it were.

"Thus, the results of his actions are used to determine whether his inner content is or is not that of a human soul, although outwardly he may appear to be both healthy and human.

"Even so, these signs are inadequate as a means of arriving at the right conclusions, because the person's actions could well be stimulated or suppressed by his needs in life or by his circumstances. So he may be forced to do something because he could not do anything else -- and thus do something far from right.

"So the best course to take is to view this problem not only in an ordinary way, but also in a spiritual way.

"In a spiritual way wrong actions can be prevented from going too far into excess. The faults can soon be corrected. In this way the person can soon be cured of his sickness."

Sri Ruhanasari asks for the way to know the true contents of the body. Ki Pranawasita distinguishes the nature of the heart. Sri Ruhanasari wishes to receive the contact.

Ngabei Jasmandriya nodded his head in agreement and admiration.

"So, it is clear, my brother;" he commented, "that it is not easy to be a man who lives?"

Sri Ruhanasari felt as if there were an opening of her chest. Her eyes became wide open, and the large pupils of her eyes, which signified her sharpness of thought, became even more radiant.

After a while she said, "How true it is, what you say, Father. As a woman who often travels, my own experience proves to me the truth of your words.

"There are many people who seem to be patient and good, but who in the end are willing to do things which are far from good.

"Outwardly they seem to be fine, gentle, and responsible people and this is all accompanied by words as sweet as honey. But, in reality, it is but a cover for the secret of the contents of their hearts, which intend only evil.

"This corresponds with your saying that although a man looks patient, of good character and clever, he may, in reality, be ill, that is, have an illness within the soul."

"And now, if I may, I would like to ask you to explain something about the way to cure a soul which is not fit for its place or vehicle, and also about the way for a man to know the true contents of his body,"

Sri Ruhanasari asked, pulling her chair forward.

Listening to the way his daughter spoke, Ngabei Jasmandriya felt quite proud, although he did not show this outwardly; he did not even appear to be paying much attention to what she was saying. Even so, he was watching her behavior very closely.

Smiling, Ki Pranawasita replied,

"All right, Sri. Your questions are very good indeed, and they certainly deserve a clear and appropriate answer. But as I am still only a pupil myself, I certainly won't be able to give an answer to satisfy your heart."

"But still, as a father being asked by a daughter, and what's more, as a man of my age really should know the answers to questions like this, I feel I ought at least to try to answer them.

"But first I would like to ask one thing of you, and that is, if in my answer there are things which you do not like, I hope you will forgive me.

"To know his genuine essence... that is, his soul... a man must first be able to distinguish between the nature of his heart -- comprising the heart-thoughts-mind, cleverness, character, imagination, ideas, ambitions, desires, and so on -- and the nature of his feelings; that is, his inner feelings, the true individuality of man.

"When the distinction between these two qualities is made, it is possible for the T to recognize and understand the situation when the heart-thoughts-mind and so on are activated by his essence, which is the soul.

"Once the heart can recognize and understand this separation, then the T will be able to know or realize who it is who activates or masters 'my' instruments or 'my' heart.

"When this is so, the wrongness of the wrong will be seen, and the T can distinguish between his true soul and the souls that are not his. In other words, between his human souls and the souls that are non-human.

"Once this is achieved, his human soul will work and manifest more dearly within him. And when this level is reached, it can be said that the man who is suffering from the sickness of the soul will be cured.

"Furthermore, when the reality of the masquerading souls, which are really non-human, is dearly seen, they will not be cast away or destroyed but instead be mastered and governed. The reason is that these souls are needed by man as instruments, even if they are animal and other subhuman souls.

"Going further, a man whose soul is truly human -- the soul of Rochani -- can also include the human soul itself as subordinate.

"The truth is, there is only one true human soul in this world; to the inner feelings it is very great, enveloping the whole of mankind in this world.

"On earth it is only man who still belongs to groups of people; in other words, he is divided by the existence of groups of people.

"That is the truth, my daughter, and this is also why our forefathers in olden times, my ancestors and yours, were so willing and happy to help and protect their own brethren and other people who were in need.

"Those are the characteristics of people who have the noble human soul within them. They do not live for their own lives only; they live for the lives of other people also.

"What I have just explained, my daughter, is only the good side of it. There are, however, qualities in people which are not good, and the ones with qualities far from good are even greater in number.

"Let's take an example of a man whose soul is that of an animal. When this soul is opened and exposed, its strength and power will become less, or it may even be rendered completely powerless. The only thing is that a man who has an animal soul necessarily requires a rather long time to arrive at the level of the human soul, because the distance or differences between them is too great.

"But still, there is no reason for him to feel discouraged or hopeless. He should, on the contrary, make more diligent efforts so that he may soon come to his true level.

"In order that a man can attain the separation of his heart and his soul, he should make efforts to find or meet a man who has peace within him, or it can be said simply, a man who has received Grace.

"This is necessary because it is not at all easy for a man to govern his own heart. He may try, and the ultimate result will be nothing but the fact that that which governs the heart is also of the heart, and this governing cannot be said to be followed or obeyed. It is being pulled or going along the stream of its own current.

"In general, everything that is done by man has its origin in the desires of his own heart. Therefore, although he may claim to have a firm intention and sincere wish to arrive at this state, this same will and sincerity nonetheless belong to the heart.

"The heart, however, is necessary. It is necessary as an instrument for carrying out orders.

"As a result of the contact which causes the inner feelings to come alive, this in turn automatically causes the heart to surrender without being commanded to do so. Once this is achieved, the origins of all the forces of the lower qualities which hide themselves within the heart become clear and can be seen."

Sri Ruhanasari felt her whole body become weak and start to tremble. She smiled and nodded her head.

Although a little reticent, she forced herself to speak.

"In that case, Father, if I wish to have this contact, should I go and see someone who has received such Grace?"

Ki Pranawasita did not reply immediately. Then, smiling, he said,

"Of course you could, but there is another way, in which it is not necessary for you to meet the man personally"

"What is that other way, Father? If you have no objection, I hope you do not mind explaining it to me," Sri Ruhanasari asked.

"What I mean is to receive it through someone who has become your husband.

"To make it clear, first you have to marry. And after this, it will be your husband who should meet the man who has received Grace" replied Ki Pranawasita.

Sri Ruhanasari paused for a while but then asked,

"In other words, I must have a champion -- a man who will eventually become my guide or teacher?"

"I am afraid you must, my daughter, that is if you truly feel it is important to know your true soul, the true essence within this human body," Ki Pranawasita replied.

Sri Ruhanasari bowed her head and then said,

"It might be all right if the man I make my champion is the right one, but if he is not, what will happen?"

Ki Pranawasita raised his head, looked at Sri Ruhanasari, and said,

"This is why you must be on your guard not to be in a hurry to make your choice. A sound judgment and true verification are essential before you take the step."

Sri Ruhanasari asks for further spiritual explanations. Ki Pranawasita explains the necessity of finding a suitable partner. The brothers anticipate the arrival of Jaka Wisnadi. The time has come.

"Hmm" Sri Ruhanasari paused. Not long afterwards she continued,

"Would you mind giving me further explanation, Father, why is it that women should depend upon men in spiritual matters? Why is it that women are incapable of reaching it by their own effort, because men as well as women are bestowed with the same senses?"

Ngabei Jasmandriya and Ki Rasasudarma remained silent. Inwardly they were surprised and thought to themselves how wise she was.

Ki Pranawasita remained quiet for a few moments before responding to her question.

"It is true, it is true, your question is true, daughter, but you should also know that this has been the will of God, that it is only men who have made channels of the seed, the living seed."

"While women do in reality only form the vessel, that is the vessel where the living seed mentioned above is planted and finally developed into a child."

"Therefore, in fact, the nature of men represents the 'understanding; while the nature of women represents 'faithfulness, and further, the existence of children is the realization of the understanding."

"If these three factors can be symbolized as the way that a man works, then the man can be symbolized as the worker, the woman as the work that is being done, and the child is the result of his work."

"So, if the thing which he makes is a chair, naturally the 'man' concerned is then called a carpenter."

"If the thing which he makes is a crowbar, then the 'man' who made it is called a blacksmith."

"Therefore, the nature of what is called 'man' can be seen from the result of what he has done, that is, his children."

"As for the reason why there are some people who do not have any children, this is because there are some faults which they do not know. Sometimes it also happens because of some physical defects, and these defects are inherited through the errors of the maker."

"It is clear therefore, that both men and women are needed. Only the functions of these two are not the same. This difference in functions has made them become the partners of each other."

"This can be symbolized by a pot and the lid. Their nature is different, but because the partner of the pot is the lid, therefore, this lid matches the pot. So, although these two do not look the same, they are the each other's partners."

"It is not my intention to say that women depend upon the mercy of men. A man who does not have a wife can be compared to a man who can write but does not have anything to write on. He is in the same position as a man who does not know how to write at all."

"On the other hand, the thing to write on, the blackboard, if it is never used, can be considered useless."

"Let us return to our main topic. It is important that the blackboard should find a writer who really understands how to write, that is, a writer whose writings are useful, and can become a candle which can light the feeling of others."

"If this can be really accomplished then, although the blackboard may be the same as any other blackboard, when all that is written on it contains beneficial knowledge, that writing will naturally have much greater value than writing which is written carelessly."

"At this moment you cannot yet understand clearly what I have said just now, but finally when the time has come, I am sure that what I have said before will be accomplished in you and will be clear to you."

Sri Ruhanasari remained silent, but she felt her heart vibrating. Then smilingly she said:

"I thank you very much, Father, that you have given me such valuable clarifications."

"I hope that all of you will pray for me