Brothers and sisters, tonight Bapak would like to explain about the meaning and aim of the spiritual training of Subud, so that you can receive and later give an explanation to whoever needs to understand the true meaning and purpose of Subud.

As you have all experienced and received, this Subud training of worship comes about and is caused by the movement and the awakening of the inner feeling that comes from the power of the One God. How can Bapak explain this? You have all been able to witness for yourselves that if we introduce our thinking or our imagination, if we think about or imagine something in the latihan, then we cannot receive anything, we feel still and empty. In effect ( the latihan ) stops completely. From this it is clear that what we receive in the latihan is beyond the strength of our heart, thinking mind and desires. Everything that happens and goes on in the spiritual training is beyond our ability to fathom, beyond our thinking mind and beyond our understanding.

This is indeed the truth of it. It shows that the One God, usually called by the name of Allah - praise be unto Him, the Most High - is Almighty, All-knowing, Most Understanding, and has power over everything, both what you cannot see, and what you can see with your ordinary eyes. It also tallies with what is said in the Quran and all the holy books - namely, that God's attributes are: He is All-powerful and none has power over Him; He comes before everything and none comes before Him; and He also comes after everything and none comes after Him. Clearly, God's attributes are completely inconceivable to us, for they are beyond the capacity of our human understanding. And the reality is that we human beings are only creations - creations of God.

Since, in reality, God is Almighty, Creator of all He has created, including us human beings, there is no good way, no way that can make our lives happy, nor will we find the true way that can take us back to our primal origin, our original human nature - said to be the perfect human world, the rohani world - if we are unable to master and weaken our heart, and humble ourselves before God. This means that we should exalt and magnify God. It means acknowledging that God is Almighty and we are in His hands; and that only He can provide the way for us to come to our destination, that is, the perfect world that has been prepared by the One God for us human beings.

In general, people who are learned have worked with their brains and hearts for so long that they cannot help thinking about everything they come across. This is because their hearts and minds have become accustomed to working. So, even when they face something more powerful than themselves - for instance, God -their thinking involuntarily comes into play. Consequently, they have to research and think about things that actually should not be thought about and do not need to be fully understood. They do this in order to be able to describe what God is like; whereas in fact, the human thinking mind cannot possibly know or understand what God and His power are like. If God's power and God's true state can be understood, known and thought about in the same way as the material objects human beings are used to thinking about, then it is certain that what appears to them as God is not the real God, but the God that exists in their thinking mind and understanding.

But the life-span of the human understanding that relies on the heart and thinking is limited. By limited, Bapak means that when the time comes, they die. The brain, heart and feelings cannot work any more. Only at that moment do they become aware of the limit of their strength and power. Whereas when they were still alive, they wanted to go over the top, they wanted to know where God and His power are.

Therefore what the messengers of God said long ago in ancient times is really very appropriate. They said that the worship of God, through which human beings obtain what is necessary for their life, is not more and not less than having faith, surrendering with patience, acceptance and a willingness to let go, and submitting to the decree of God. Submitting to God's decree means submitting to whatever God determines for you.

But thinkers still do not believe these words, nor admit their rightness, even though they were uttered by God's messengers, the prophets. For indeed their thinking has become so accustomed to working, that thinkers have to think about everything. They do not know, they do not ponder on the life stories of God's messengers, the prophets in ages long past, who are now believed and followed - for example, Jesus, Muhammad, Abraham, and all the prophets.

The prophets in times long ago obtained something beyond the grasp of human beings, in the form of advice and other things, which form a legacy that is believed by human beings today. But it was not because they went to school or studied or searched by using various methods. What they had was tremendous faith and surrender to God's decree. These men showed in their hearts and feelings that they were really obedient and faithful to God's commands; that they had faith in God's greatness and in God's power, and that God rules before human beings are made and after they disappear or reach perfection or cease to exist. In that state and in that way, the prophets received within their consciousness; in a state of not seeking, they received. And their receiving within themselves also made them aware of God's greatness, of God's highness, which we cannot possibly surpass or reach with our desires; we can only truly surrender.

It's not that God will give; God always, constantly gives to human beings and to all the creatures He has created. He provides the way, gives people something they can use to attain happiness in their life, both in this world and in the hereafter.

For there is no other condition or means which can take us, in our awareness and consciousness, into a state outside human understanding, beyond the conditions of this earth, other than the one given by God, who has created and provided the absolute requirement, called khatir ( Arab. ). It is already there, available, inside and outside our being. It is also inside and outside the beings of all the creatures that God has created. But if we search, we will not find it more quickly. We will get further away, because our very state of searching means we are leaving God and God's power. For, in reality, God and God's power are behind our thinking and understanding.

That is why this ( latihan ) does not involve searching or imagining. No. That is also why the words of Islam are written not forwards, but backwards. This can be taken to mean that if you go forwards you won't get anything. The more you go forwards the more you won't get anything. But if you are willing to withdraw, you can touch or be touched by the power that is there behind you. So it is clear that if we search, the more intense our search, the more ( what we are looking for ) will not be there. The more earnestly we look, the more we find nothing.

What then? This is why we are told to accept with patience, and have faith that the One God is Almighty. Then one will be able to know and feel the touch of life that is within the human self. When one experiences it, one feels surprised. One thinks it is something new, something one has only just received and felt. Not so. It is older, and came before those human feelings. As Bapak explained a moment ago, God is before all that is before, and after all that is after.

So if, brothers and sisters, you let go of your desire and your wish to know God and where God is, then Bapak doesn't say it will be easy, but it may be easier than if you look for Him. Bapak experienced this himself, at the time when Bapak received what you have all have received and now have as your own. It was not intentional on Bapak's part. Bapak had been to gurus too. Not just one, but many. But the instruction Bapak received from all the gurus who taught Bapak was of a kind that would strengthen Bapak's will to be obedient and submissive to God. That way is called tariq ( Arab. ), and indeed it is the highest effort human beings can make to obtain this something that is beyond their comprehension. But what happened? What was the final result? Bapak did not get anything, and even became confused; for what was happening was that Bapak was imagining things that were pictured within his thinking mind. But in reality, that is all lies.

It was like when you see a brightness or a light, but this light comes from a lamp. That lamp is the thinking mind. So, as long as the thinking mind is still working, and the human brain and heart are still healthy, one can see this and see that, as if one knows and understands what and where God is. Sometimes God is even pictured in all His splendor, sitting on a throne entirely bedecked with gold and diamonds. And the throne is not on tiles like these. No. Who knows on what sort of carpet, perhaps on silk one centimeter thick, for example. Such is the thinking. That is the same as when you see a light that comes from a lamp. The lamp has limits - the thinking mind has limits too. If the lamp runs out of oil, or the electricity is cut, it goes out. When the thinking mind is at the end of its strength, it dies. You will not be able to see anything any more, only pitch darkness. That is what the thinking mind is like if one relies on it totally for understanding something.

Clearly, the human thinking mind, brain and heart are instruments that are limited and can only be used on earth, in the sphere of this world. They cannot be used later, in the hereafter, in the life after death. In the next life they are powerless.

So, if you are not yet able to experience - or rather, receive -something that can awaken your human awareness while you are still alive on this earth, afterwards you will be powerless. Yes, later when you die, it will be pitch dark. So it's not that it is necessary -it is our duty, to know, to receive and to be aware while we are still alive on this earth. So, before it rains we are already holding an umbrella. Before it rains we already own an umbrella, so that later when it rains, we only have to open it.

This we receive and own. You receive it in your latihan, brothers and sisters. Bapak will not anticipate God's will, so he must say that perhaps it is God's will that - in an age like this, which is now commonly called the atomic age, when human beings feel so clever that they are godlike, with power to annihilate, power to kill and murder so many people just like that, merely with their hand or their thinking - something has been sent down to us that we can receive and use in our life. It is good fortune, a grace for us human beings, for all of you, that we are able to receive this under these conditions where we are working with our thinking minds. It can work within our being even though we work with our thinking and our heart.

Such is God's greatness, such is God's supremacy and God's majesty, that He can create something to overcome all that can disturb the well-being and safety of humans, His creatures. So in reality, this Subud latihan of worship is a training that comes because God's power has willed that with it - with the state we always feel in the latihan - we can travel the road, however arduous it may be, to the world that is truly for us human beings, and also to the lap of the One God who created us. Even though you don't think about it, brothers and sisters, you're not concerned about it and don't wish for this or that in the latihan, the power of God, sent down and given to human beings at this time, in this age, is always and constantly at work.

So Bapak advises you all, brothers and sisters, please do not despair or lack confidence. You may wonder: can this be received by just anyone? For there are many people who say - not you, but people in general - that only the prophets can receive a revelation or inspiration from God; but the prophets were long ago - now there are no prophets any more. Such a view does not promote or strengthen the hearers' faith in God's greatness; it weakens ( the faith ) of those who hear it. That is not God's will. It is not God's will for His creatures, especially for human beings, that they should despair and give up looking for anything, and not bother with anything. For example, saying, 'Never mind, as long as you're alive? This is not allowed. It is not God's will. Human beings should make an effort. What kind of effort? They should make an effort to find the way: how to surrender, how to have faith, and how to be patient, accepting and surrendered in relation to God's greatness.

So it is clear that God's will and God's grace are not limited. They were not only given and received by human beings in times long ago; human beings today, and also in the future, will always be able to receive the grace of God. That is how God is towards man, His creature. And that is why God is said to be compassionate and merciful. So Bapak's advice to all of you is: always receive and follow the latihan, and do not give up hope, do not despair, because what you have received is always, constantly working.

Only, ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, you have not yet reached the stage where you can be aware of the reasons why some are slow and others are fast; and why some are able to receive, and others not. Later on you will become aware of this yourselves, when you have reached that point. The way God's power works within your being is like this: you cannot see what the roof of the house will be like when the house is not yet finished. It could be, if your self is the house, that only the work on the foundations or the walls has been completed; sometimes not yet even the walls, let alone the roof. So, supposing that you want to know and to see what the roof is like, of course you won't be able to, because the work that is going on within your inner feeling, within your being, has not yet reached that point. It's not yet finished.

As Bapak said earlier, God is All-knowing, Most Understanding, Most Wise. God knows the strength that is within the self of human beings. So if you want to know quickly and understand quickly, it means that not only are you anticipating God's will, but also that you are not yet willing to look at your own self. We have to look at the strength that is in us: where is it? how is it? how much is it? Even if you don't yet know - and Bapak is not blaming you for not knowing, for you haven't yet got that far - God knows that you are not yet strong enough to receive what is really necessary for your life.

Some of you have to some extent experienced this. As soon as you receive, you get a headache; as soon as you receive, you don't feel well. Indeed, you do receive. At that moment you know. At that moment you really experience - not like someone who is dreaming, no - you really do experience something. But you don't yet have the strength. So, at this stage you are able to receive and have the experience, but you are not yet able to use it and carry it out. God knows that.

So, in order to be able to receive something and make use of it, first, of course, the strength within the human self has to be adjusted. Then it fits. You have the wish to get rich; and you have the capital. You have the capital; you have the market. You have the market; you have the skills - the expertise, for example. So it fits.

But in your case, brothers and sisters, it's not yet like that. You have the wish; but you don't yet have any capital. Let alone a market, you have no idea about that. And as for the expertise - you know absolutely nothing yet.

So you have the wish to become rich; but without capital, how? Well, maybe you can do it without capital - you can do a conjuring trick and become a rich person. Well, yes, but then it's just like in the theatre, 'I, in my role, am a crown-prince!' But in fact you are not a crown-prince. Because, when you have played the part you go back to being Sutodikromo again. It doesn't fit any more with what you were saying earlier. 'I am the Crown-prince Jenggolo. I am the son of the king of Kediri,' you said. People saw you as the crown-prince of Kediri. But when the play is over, behind the scenes, 'Hey, it's old Saridin from yesterday)' Let us not be like that!

Indeed, spectacles like ketoprak ( Javanese folk plays ) and wayang ( performances of stories from Hindu mythology ), and so on, are in reality advice, which is demonstrated through being performed in that way. If the truth be known, the wayang with masks is telling people that behind the face there is something real. So people should know that inside the headpiece ( the actors ) wear, if you look at it with binoculars, or if you remove it, the real head will appear. If you take off the handlebar moustache of King, what's-his-name? Joyolambar, the real person appears. So it's all a symbol. But people don't see that, they don't perceive it so deeply. Not only that, but after seeing a ketoprak performance, for example, they imitate what they have seen.

'Why are you walking like that?'

'That's how ( they were walking in the show ) just now.' So they even imitate something that is wrong.

What this all means is that whatever you have in you at this moment is all a mask. That is true. Bapak isn't saying that everybody ( is walking around ) wearing a mask, but in fact that is how it is! ( Laughter ) So of course anyone who would like to be like Bapak has to say, 'Bapak is a good man.' But I'll tell you, it's not certain! How do you know that inside Bapak isn't in fact grouchy? That's why I need my mask.

In this latihan of ours we are starting to ( return to ) the reality; the moustache is being removed.

Like what happened earlier. I didn't know ( what was going on ). The first thing I heard was Pow! ... Thud! - It was this fellow who came from Medan. 'Oh, I know him - it's the man from Medan. Wah, they've only just arrived and they're already making a scene.' ( Laughter ) There you have it. ( Bapak chuckles ) If you look at him, there's nothing the matter, but inside he's very angry about whatever it is that something in him doesn't like.

Now, in this latihan, we are beginning to be able to receive our own original nature. This is indeed what God wills, so that whatever God gives, really goes to the person ( it's intended for ). Suppose, for example, that man who just put on that handlebar moustache ( asks God ), 'Oh God, I pray for good fortune!' Would God give it to him? It would be all wrong.

'The one I'm giving this to is Jayenggrono. Why should you receive it, Din?'

'Oh, I was ( wearing the ) wrong ( costume ) just now!'

So God will give to a human being if the human being is really himself, if he is really the one who is asking, if it's really him. Then God gives, and he can receive it.

Person to person is different. People are willing to be tricked by a mask.

'Yes, what is it?'

'I want to talk to you. I am a doctor.' 'A doctor?' 'Yes.'

Now, would you ask to see his certificate or diploma? You wouldn't, would you? You'd have to believe him.

'I am a doctor. In fact, I'm a professor. Yes, a professor!'

The person believes him!

'If I may, I'd like to borrow the following books...'

'Certainly.'

It is OK to lend books to a professor. When he has borrowed the books, he takes them away and doesn't come back. 'Hey, who was that professor?' He was a make-believe professor.

It's a sign of the times. Bapak doesn't say everyone, no, but one or two in a million or so really do still use a mask. ( Laughter ) Actually it's not that they use it, but they have it on, as if the mask stays on all by itself. So they do not use the mask intentionally - rather, they forget the mask is on. They forget.

So, in this latihan we are instructed from within, by the power of God, to become human beings who are straight and sincere. Human beings who are - how does one say - not only honest, but who say it the way it is. For example, 'I am not good at anything.'

Bapak was asked, over there in Europe, 'Where did Bapak go to school?'

'Oh, my schooling was only this much.'

'Why do you say that?'

'My schooling was very little. Yours, Mister professor, was this much while mine was only this much.' ( Gesture )

'Yes?'

'Yes.

'Then is Bapak the son of a king?'

'No. I'm the son of ( an ordinary ) person. Not even of rich parents, but we were able to eat.'

'So how can Bapak do this?'

'Of course I can. I can do this, not because I want to, but because this is my path. Bapak can come here thanks to this ( latihan ).'

Bapak has been explaining that this latihan of ours is a training that comes as a result of God's greatness and God's power - God's power and God's greatness, and His will, so that, as Bapak said earlier, we can gradually become aware of our own nature, without the mask. So, if all this is stripped away, this person who is wearing the stars ( i.e. having military rank ), whatever they are, is exposed, 'Oh, I am like this now.'

So we are being trained to behave in line with what is in us, in accordance with God's will for us. Bapak calls this the true meaning of what is in our latihan of worship in Subud. As for the aim of this, the aim of Subud: since we were begun because of God, because of God's greatness and God's will, certainly we are able to do this latihan, and so on, also because of God. So our aim is the One who moves us, the One who educates us, the One who is able to awaken our soul: none other than the One God. So we are now being educated to become human beings who are honest, straight and sincere, and who are able to worship the One who wants us to worship Him.

So it's not wrong. We are worshipping the One who wills us to worship. We are worshipping the One who wants us to worship Him. It is different from worshipping someone we happen to like, someone our thinking happens to like, someone we consider to be better, for instance. It's not certain that that person would want us to ( worship him ). It depends. The one we venerate may well say: 'Godverdom!' ( Du.: God damn you! ) So it depends. 'Hey, what are you being like that for? That's impolite!'

The worship of God is supposed to be really respectful. Now, there are various ways of showing respect. If a person is told to show respect, he is able to do it. But of course a goat would not be able to. Even among people there are differences: A westerner - a Dutchman, for example - has a different way of showing respect from someone here. They've only said 'Yes', and the 'Yes' from there and the 'Yes' from here are already different; yet the meaning is the same.

'Want this?'-'Yes!'

'Want this?' -' Ya!'

'Want this?'-'Inggih!' ( Jav. )

'Want this?'-'Semuhun!' ( Sundanese )

So, they're all different. The meaning is the same, yet they are different in attitude. The more so, if we bring a goat into it. If told to show respect, it would go 'm-e-e-e-e-h'.

We are being educated and trained so that we can worship God according to His will, and not bypass it, reduce it or exceed it. This is the aim of Subud.

So the aim of Subud is of course towards the One who wills us to worship Him, none other than God. As the One who awakens us to worship is God, certainly it leads us to God.

This is Bapak's explanation especially concerning the meaning and aim of Subud. You will need it in case any of you are asked by other people, or by brothers and sisters abroad. You don't have to say much, but you need to be able to answer clearly and briefly along the lines Bapak gave you just now, because the questions asked by people from the West are always far-fetched. For instance, they approach it like a teaching of this and of that. They say that during meditation one should see this, that and the other, so that their will can become strong enough to subdue, say, their desires. They say that if one cannot strengthen one's own will or make one's own will aware of what is required, it has no meaning, it's not human. So they say.

Yes, indeed, that's the nature of human thinking. But such an opinion, even though it ( is given by someone who ) has a long moustache, for example, when he dies, have a look. When he's dead, his moustache will ( droop ) like this! ( Gesture ) It must - it cannot be otherwise. If you go up to him and ask, 'What else do you have to say?' ...Oh, he can't answer. 'What did you say before? Come on, what do you say now?' How come he says nothing? His story is finished.

So it's really like the wayang. 'In the story, I am the king of Medhayin. I own this and I own that. I have dominion.' But when he has finished playing the part, and is drinking chau ( Jav.: kind of sweet drink ) backstage: 'That's Saridin.' 'He's the king!'

'Well, he was the king a moment ago, but now he isn't any more.' Having said this, and after clarifying the meaning and aim of Subud, Bapak needs - perhaps all of you also need - to do some testing, so that we can feel how you are getting on in receiving this spiritual training.

( Testing )