Ladies and gentlemen, this evening Bapak needs to explain a bit about the testing he does with you, and which he is always talking about, because you are not yet fully aware of its true meaning.
The testing that Bapak does with you is like an assessment in order to find out how far you are able to receive - to what extent all the parts of your body have been brought to life in your latihan. Therefore this - like in your latihan - is not a matter for your thinking. It doesn't need to be thought about but received. So for those of you who haven't been able to feel or receive when Bapak tests with you, please accept this with patience; don't try to figure out the intention of the test with your thinking, and how you should receive it.
What Bapak means when he speaks about the life of the parts of your body, is the life of the feelings, which is awakened as your soul develops and is not something awakened through your will, your heart or your thinking. Because, brothers and sisters, the movements of all the members of your body, before they are brought to life through the life of the soul, are still influenced and ruled by the desires, thinking and heart. And what you are not yet able to know is that what dwells within the human heart and will originates mostly from the lower forces, which are always connected with your heart, wishes, desires and thinking.
The growth of the human soul, which is awakened by the holy force, will eventually remove the lower forces that have been influencing the inner feeling and return them to their original place. The origin of these lower forces is not outside the human self but within it. The human self is like a family or a community, which should be able to work in life as a harmonious whole that includes both the human part and the others. This can be compared to a man who lives a life complete with his family - with his wife, children and various servants. So there are the master and mistress of the house, the gardener, the cook, someone who does the washing and also someone who cleans the rooms. Such is the soul of a human being in its entirety, enabling such a person to live a complete life.
This is an analogy between the soul of a human being and what exists in human society. For, as Bapak said just now, one can say that the state or situation of the complete soul of a human being is similar to the life of a person in this world who has a complete household. There is the head of the household, the housewife, the children, the gardener, the cook, the servant who cleans the rooms and the other servants. But through his own mistakes, because he can't resist the pressure of the influence of the world that he continually experiences, the head of the household, who should remain the master, is pushed aside to a position that is not right for him; while, through his negligence and mistakes, the servants who are supposed to live at the back or to the right and left, and not in the main house, occupy the position of master. This situation gives rise to chaos and disorder in the household.
It is the same with the inner self of human beings who, through their own mistakes, and their inability to put things in their proper places, experience chaos in their inner life. So, it is hardly surprising if the spiritual progress you receive doesn't happen quickly, because, first of all, whatever is in the wrong place has to be put back where it belongs.
The house Bapak has been speaking of represents our entire body, from the head - the brain - to the feet, and from the feet to the head. It's gone wrong. It's all gone too far. Bapak will describe the way it ought to be. The one who looks for money, the one who looks for the necessities, clothing and all that, should not be the master of the house. The master of the house should give orders to the servant whose responsibility it is to do that. But because he doesn't understand and is not yet able to occupy his rightful place, ( he is out ) looking for money while the servants run the house. The result is that eventually, when he worships God, he inevitably carries with him the view of the world that he constantly sees and experiences. It is still with him when he worships God. Therefore, the result of his worship of God will be no better than the results his servants obtain when they occupy his place; it will be something not in accordance with the way a human being should receive grace or happiness from Almighty God.
God knows that something that is good, noble and high for a human being should and must be received by that human being himself. So, even though a person sincerely worships God in his heart, and sincerely believes in God, he may not find or be able to receive anything from God, because God knows that if his request were granted, the one who received it would not be the man but his servants; that is, the material, vegetable and animal forces, and so on.
For if what is needed by a human being is given to someone other ( than a ) human being, the gift would be very dangerous. That is why it is not given to that person, because he is not yet a perfect human being who truly has the right to receive it. As a result, people feel in their heart and mind that their worship of God, their latihan feels as if it keeps meeting obstacles, and that they are making very slow progress in receiving what is necessary for them.
The prophets in ancient times were able to avoid anything ( harmful ) that might befall them, and they could do things that were really miraculous from the human point of view. But, because the prophets were perfect human beings who could receive something from God and know the use of what they received, they would never do anything that was not good, that might be harmful to society or to humanity. This makes it clear that the purer the inner feeling of a human being is, the more they will be able to receive gifts from God, both for their own welfare and for the real benefit of human life.
It should also be clear that something that is true may not always find its truth, if the one who is implementing it does not yet have the right to do so. Bapak will give an example. Take a sharp weapon - all of you consider a sharp instrument as something very useful in the home. It can be used for cutting bread, meat, and many other things. But a person who doesn't know the right use of the sharp instrument might use it to kill or wound people. So, clearly, something that is right cannot be used rightly by someone who doesn't yet have the appropriate nature as willed by God.
And because the One God knows all that, and knows what will happen, God will give to human beings only if they occupy their position as human beings, not interfered with or hindered by the servants or life-forces lower than their own individuality. So it's not that God doesn't love human beings, or that God discriminates between people, but God knows the consequences of giving whatever He may give, to someone when that person isn't yet able to receive it or use it properly.
This is the use of the latihan and what we will receive in it. Therefore in this Subud latihan God requires that through God's working within the human self- the self of each one of you -you can begin to clean out everything that is an obstacle within you. This is necessary so that you will really be able to return to the position you should be in, where you can receive what is required for a human being.
Bapak does this testing with you so that you can more or less correct yourselves, and feel the condition of your self that results from the work being done within you. It is just to know and correct how you are, how you are doing in the latihan; both those of you who have been doing it for rather a long time and those who are new. To be able to receive and feel the tests Bapak does, you should be in that state you are in when you do the latihan. That is, you shouldn't think or imagine things, concentrate on anything, or visualize anything, but just receive as in the latihan. For this testing is the same as when you do the latihan.
Bapak doesn't blame those of you who are not yet able to receive this testing. But you need to be aware that the cleaning of your self has not yet gone very far, and the members of your body are not yet uniformly alive. That is why you still don't receive what Bapak is doing in the testing. But don't worry or feel disappointed, because your condition won't always remain the same; it will keep changing and eventually you will be able to receive and experience the reality of the tests that Bapak gives you.
Why is Bapak doing this testing with you - even though you haven't experienced the Subud latihan for very long - when even in Indonesia Bapak hasn't done it yet with people who have been doing latihan for two, three or four years? For instance, here is Dr. Zakir, who only heard of, received and understood about testing after coming to America, and he's been doing the latihan for four years. The reason is that Bapak knows Bapak won't be staying here in America but will be leaving soon, and may not be here again for three, four or five years. ( Sounds of disappointment from the audience, followed by laughter. ) Yes, because Bapak's journeys - his travels everywhere - won't always be as they are now. As the years go by Bapak will get older - and these trips are really hard. On this present trip, Bapak will have to visit no less than thirty countries. Perhaps in the future, when Bapak goes to America, he may just go to America; when he goes to Europe, just to Europe; when to Asia, just to Asia and not like now. So he will stay here three or four months and then return to Indonesia.
That's why Bapak is doing a little of this testing, so you can understand and be aware of the results and the use of this Subud latihan. It is necessary, so that you yourselves can test and correct yourselves in whatever way you need to in your life. Of course, you won't achieve this quickly, because - as Bapak said earlier - your being needs to be purified first. But, while the purification is going on, you can test yourselves to find out, 'how far the workmen have progressed ( Bapak chuckles ) who are at work within my being'.
But, Bapak advises you not to be in a hurry to do testing in this way, as he is only doing it to give you an example. Bapak isn't saying do this in the way Bapak does. No. For you haven't yet reached the level required for this kind of testing. For that you need to have reached a level where your inner feeling can recognize the awakening of your desire, the awakening of your brain or your thinking and the awakening of the imagination. Because if you are as yet unable to recognize your desires, thinking and feelings, what is tested will always be pre-empted by your desires, your wanting, your thinking and your feelings. That's what is commonly called auto-suggestion.
Clearly, how you test, and doing testing, may not ( seem ) difficult. But we have to realize that it requires us to be free of our own heart, desires and thinking. This is the meaning and purpose of the testing Bapak does with you, so that you do not misunderstand this. It is not something that you need to think about or understand with your mind, but you should receive it with the parts of your body that have become alive. And this life in all our parts - the ones that can be seen from outside as well as the ones that are not visible because they are inside you - is precisely the result of the latihan you have been doing. So don't leave this latihan; Bapak hopes you will follow it as diligently as you can.
Bapak is going to do some more testing now, and after that he will continue with explanations you need to hear.
( Testing )
After these melodies are born or expressed, they are followed by movement - dance. Indeed, art and genuine culture are the will of God for human beings and for the human individuality - that is, a culture that can accompany human beings and serve as a means to move their inner self. For movements that come from the human self are essential to bring about the health of one's whole being. This is why there are many people who look for the truth and the reality within the arts that exist in this world, in the hope that, by means of these arts, they will be able to find the way to come into contact with the greatness of God.
The reality will be evident to those of you who have had small children. Even if you don't have children, certainly you will have seen your newborn brother or sister, or another small child. A child who is still small doesn't yet understand the pleasures of this world, but if they listen to a melody they will look as if they are falling asleep, as if it feels very nice. Then, after hearing that, they will sometimes spontaneously wake up and start to make movements -movements that are not from imitating anybody but from within. This shows that the melody had its origin in the human soul, the soul within a human being.
This is different from all of you, who are already grown up. Even if the song is sung a thousand times, your thoughts still continue to roam around! But with this spiritual training all of you, without wishing, without knowing, can spontaneously experience the same state as when you were a small child. Clearly, you are grown up only in years and in your heart, but still small children in the state of your human soul. You are not yet able to think about the meaning of what God has given to you because, well, it's still impossible for this little child, this baby, to use its understanding properly. So if you still make use of your thinking mind for your spiritual progress, it means you are closing the way for your soul to develop.
( Testing )
( When it is a true song, it can )" awaken the inner feeling. This is different from songs composed by the thinking and desires, which cause people to be aroused. But it is their passions that flare up and spill over, so instead of quieting the heart, thinking and desires, they stir them up. Like the mambo and others that Bapak has heard.
Later on, brothers and sisters, when you begin to experience your voice in the latihan, the melodies will be from your soul, which come with the awakening of the inner feeling. That is why the reading of the advice contained in all the holy books is generally accompanied by melodies, for these are a means of awakening the inner feeling and awakening the human soul.
( Testing )
Don't seek the way of death ( but the way of life )". This corresponds to what Jesus said long ago: that death is really a continuation of the true life.
( Testing )
( Things like these can be received by man through his body because, as was said in olden times, in reality this body of man is itself a symbol of the world. )" So this ( body ) can be a means to test all that is necessary for human beings.
( Testing )
Bapak has finished testing and will now continue with a few more explanations that you need to listen to.
Brothers and sisters, as Bapak has constantly said, the latihan we do is the worship of human beings towards God; not because we ask for it, but because it is given to us by God. No two people have the same way of doing the latihan, because it arises and grows by itself from what is there in the self of each person. And, as Bapak said just now, it arises not because we ask for it, but because we are in a state where God really wills us to be enabled to be at peace and to extinguish our desires. For the lower forces - the material, vegetable, animal and human forces - go together with the desires, mind, heart and feelings of human beings.
It is the power higher than human beings - beyond, and unaffected by the heart, mind and desires - that can make us aware of life after death and what follows. When we are truly freed from the influence of the desires, heart and thinking, it will not be the lower forces that influence us. On the contrary, we will be able to receive something from what is above us, so we can become aware of our true self.
It is clear that on our journey in this spiritual training we walk two paths: one is strong and rotten, and the other is good. It is impossible for us to do this without help and grace from God, because the two are there within us and they are always out of balance, one with the other, and cannot be reconciled. This is because the first - the one below the human force, which goes with the heart, desires and thinking - usually interferes in our worshipping God through the heart and mind, by worrying, hesitating, sometimes disbelieving, at other times disliking. Such indeed is the influence of the lower forces upon the self of human beings. It prevents them from receiving a power from above that can give them awareness.
At first sight, when seen from the point of view of the heart and thinking, people cannot understand anything about anything if they don't use their heart and mind. Indeed this is right, and humans have a heart and mind for that purpose. But they should not forget that for something that is higher than human, they cannot make use of anything that is in themselves, they can only receive and follow.
When you are able to do this, and receive what Bapak has been talking about; you will receive the reality - Bapak illustrates it this way - that there is an understanding within our understanding; there is an awareness within our awareness; there is a seeing within our seeing. It's not that we are influenced or pressured by the power above us. No. But it understands and knows better than we do what we are for, the needs of our life, and how we should work to fulfil our own happiness and nobility.
If you are wondering whether this can possibly happen to anyone, Bapak can point to the lives of the prophets. For example, Jesus. Jesus was born in conditions much humbler than normal. The place of his birth was humble, as was the situation of his family. As a result, from infancy through boyhood to adulthood, he never experienced or received anything like children of the present time.
So how was it that this child, who was born in such a humble place and had no lessons at all from anyone, eventually became an adviser to a great part of humanity? It was because Jesus was a man who came to symbolize the possibility of truly being able to surrender everything to God's greatness; of being completely purified by God's greatness. Thus he could receive what is appropriate for a perfect human being, he could become an example of how humans should live to be able to worship Almighty God. And, in that state, there arose within Jesus' self, within his ordinary understanding, which people usually use to understand things, an understanding that was extraordinary and beyond the scope of the mind. This is a symbol, and an example for you all of what the result will be if you truly do the latihan, and worship God with a sincere feeling of surrender to the greatness of the One God.
Of course the speed of your progress depends on your state. So that the development of your soul, which has been awakened and is growing, will not be hindered and obstructed, Bapak hopes you won't use your mind to think a lot about spiritual matters. You should use your mind for your everyday needs, as people usually do - for working and so on. The realm of the soul is not the work of the heart, desires and thinking mind - the heart and mind only need to work for our worldly needs. Then when we face death, when our thoughts and desires don't work any more - meaning that they die - our soul can take over and continue its blissful life after death.
This is Bapak's hope for all of you. Now he will end his explanations about spiritual matters for this evening. Bapak sees that many of you are rather tired because he has been speaking for quite a long time. Please forgive him if he has said anything out of place. Bapak wishes you good night.