I realized I couldn't write a piece about practical jokes and snipes without investigating the origins of "bagging a snipe" . As our editor/ornithologist probably knows,, snipes are not at all like the Phoenix or the Unicorn. They are real in the material sense and they are “bagged” by rifles. It seems right to also share with you that the spires appeared once again this spring, and now there were 30 to 90 feet apart.
One learns by my age to watch out for any ASSumption. I became so curious about "land craw'dads" I eventually browsed my ancient Britannica and discovered, to my great surprise, they're the real deal. They eat a lot of crops in the south. As Mr. quickdraw I have learned that ASS is quite often found on the front end of things, rather than the rear end where it belongs. Last month I went for a walk with my brother during a special visit. A day before that I wondered if I would ever see a land crawdad. As we walked in the meadow in tall grass my eyes saw a mound and at the opening to the spire I saw a land crawdad. It was at dusk and he did not scurry back in so I could look at him for quite a while. As I contemplate such mercy I wish I was more faithful to the all merciful and the latihan.
Cardinal World
The Cardinal popped his head out after the spring snow. The sun shown brightly on his royal cloak of feathers. The winter had been harsh.but seeds could be found and he and his mate pulled through. Their conversation was about when the blue jays would arrive and what they hoped to find as food.
Mulberries would come eventually but now other seeds from last falls bushes would do.
They both felt the warmth of the sun as the snow melted in the afternoon. The earth worms came up to the wet surface. The cardinal noticed one in particular.
Just as the Robin knows that the prey of the great Heron is fish, the worm relaxed in the Cardinal's presence. The feelings of the worm were felt by the Cardinal.
"Nice day" "Yes a time of cheer after hardship."
"Yes indeed, a very hard winter. I've often wondered if it really suits you to never leave the ground?"
"Oh yes, so nice and safe, and seldom is there hunger, though life requires much work,"
The worm replied politely, "Do you really like being exposed to the elements and wind?"
"Oh yes, very. At sunrise I spread my wings in prayer and soar, yet my thicket is a safe enough place. My nature is to coexist. Only other Cardinals really bother me."
The Cardinal moved closer. "You seem in good shape for your age. You are very old, yes?"
"For a worm, but our life is but a short piece of yours. Yet ours feels long and full to us"
So would you trade places with me?" asked the Cardinal. "Yes, said the worm. Man notices you more than us. We are noticed only when he goes fishing and seldom appreciated.""True enough." replied the Cardinal.
"You have just about picked all the seeds here and I see your mate is calling."
"True enough, true enough."
The Cardinal noticed a Robin at a fair distance. As he thanked the worm he pointed out the Robin. The worm was appreciative and receded. The Robin knew what had transpired. Last spring the two birds shared the same territory with an agreement between them.
Though so many eat from his ground in April the Cardinal never goes hungry.
"No matter, said the Robin, I will get that old one sooner or later."
"We'll see, we'll see."
The Cardinal got up very early and wished to show himself. Never any good to let other Cardinals get any ideas about poaching. The Robin was standing up tall and alert and still as only Robins do. The robin was already fat. His attention turned back to his own mate. She was hungry he knew.
Strong winds and flooding had taken many seeds. He wondered if there was enough for them until the new seeds arrived."Good day" thought the worm.
Perhaps not. The Cardinal reach deftly over and snatched the worm. The worm barely protested at all with a slight twist. The Cardinal launched forward to down it. The worm was at peace. The Cardinal felt the necessity. Only the Robin was disturbed. A definite breach of etiquette.
The Robin told his mate who told a few other Robins. A mob was gathering to drive off the two Cardinals. But a Cardinal has no fear and could not be in the least intimidated. Soon his courage was justified as a flock of Grackles arrived sweeping the lawn in equal spread formation and with total efficiency. The Robins soon forgot about the Cardinal. Millions of worms however ensured the truce even after the Blue Jays arrived.
The only noticeable difference was the respectful distance the worms kept from the Cardinals, despite the rarity involved. By this the Cardinal knew the old worm he had eaten was one with his brethren. Respect for the worm rose up in his breast. The worms then relaxed about the Cardinal and a friendly attitude returned. The Robin watched the ease of relationship return between them with wonder. The Robin also had a relationship of mutual interaction with the worms and understood their nature very well. Well enough to live well. And the foreknowledge of rain makes the Robin hard working in general and yet patient when profitable. It knows when not too far in the future arrives a whole docile worm; much better than half or a third with much work.
When the Grackles had left the area calm returned to the Cardinals realm. The large chested Robin couldn't help wonder how the worm tasted to the Cardinal, and the red crested Cardinal wondered how the Robin could skip over those small delectable seeds they craved. The Robin departed on schedule later that summer looking forward to his time next spring with the hard working, steady, and educational Cardinal.
Hearty Winter
Winter would soon come and the children looked out the school window to the naked and desolate court yard.
This scene easily prompted memories in the fourth grade teacher of last weeks mandatory writing seminar. A flash in the brain awoke a connection to the love of birds that her principal talked about afterwards. Of course. Her children could write about winter and the habits and hardships some birds have in the winter. When the small essays were posted on the wall in the main hallway, indeed the principal were touched.
The 4th grade met with the principal as a special event in the library, and the principal and teachers suggested the 4th grade raise money for a bird feeder for the courtyard as an ecology project. The beautiful courtyard with evergreen could be complete in the winter with the cheerful presence of sparrows. Not even a month passed before the school janitor was presented with the feeder in the cafeteria during a lunch time ceremony. A week later the feeder was still desk on the small desk in the cubby hole that also stored some supplies. This was Sol's desk. He was the maintainence staff, or custodian, as the ever changing connotations words throw off are neatly sidestepped by the ever politeness of the educator class. Sol was raised on a farm and his humility, broad smile, and ready humor always seem to more than compensate for his grammatical poverty whenever his name came up in the teacher lounge."Truly sorry ma'am, I surely am." he said, Jus' could't bring myself 'round to getting at it.", he told the principal. "We'd hurt the ones we'd help, yaknow ma'am."
he said barely looking up from the mop on the floor. "Yes yes, I'm, sure." We must all, however, do the work we're requested to do."
( One of her favorite phrases)
"Yes ma'am." his head hung down. Everythin's a lesson for us one way t' nother, I suppose."
After the feeder was hung and filled nearly a dozen sparrows cheerfully took turns flitting in and out. Certainly winter seemed brighter this year than last Everyone delighted in the birds good fortune and there was a warm feeling of love that seemed to permeate the air. Sol was very quiet that week.
A cold snap of the first order came and the principal gave instructions during announcements to the children and teachers about what to wear, how to conduct recess, and warnings about running on ice, and waiting indoors for parents after school. Their also was a congratulation to the fourth graders for the helping the sparrows. That day the children in their free time after lunch watched happily in the glass hallway that formed the perimeter of the courtyard. This teachers, braved by the insinuations and posture of the principal, broke with precedence and watched along with the children rather than shooing them on to their destinations. It was far too cold to send them out and the day just felt out of the ordinary somehow, something principals strive mightily to dismiss as fiction by body language, unuttered words that speak of unuttered consequences, as well as their spoken words words and actions as well. It is a rare moment when there is a tear in the curtain of demeanor that speaks of a devotion beyond even those who attend church regularly.
As this unlikely assembly looked on, two very large owls deftly and quickly swooped down and carried the sparrows off the feeders. They only went as far as the top of the pine tree a few yards away and inches from the invisible plate glass and the children. There they devoured their prey, The typical commotion transpired that those who have worked with children are so familiar with. It was obvious this one would last through the day.
The excited conversations of the children were repeated many times that winter as their eyes digested the red spots and feathers breaking up the clean white canvas nature had provided. For the sensitive ones their heart fell and the winter seemed harder than ever, save for the wise Sol, who ever appreciated real life lessons provided each day, yet never allowed to be absorbed by the distracted mind and happy heart.
Imprudent Purchase
Once a pig lived in a town and everyone knew about this pig. The folklore of the town was that the pigs ancestors had lived in the town for centuries.
Nobody could answer the question why the pig was alive. Certainly his brethren had made many a fine meal. This pig could be seen casually meandering through the town square on holidays, even if a pig roast was the main agenda.
There were various reactions to the pig. The poor wished to capture him but never seemed to be at the right place at the right time. A group of them would go to his wallow on the out skirts of town ready to do him in. He never seemed to be there on those occasions. The lower classes did not want to be seen as desperate so they might try once in awhile to snare him alone, but he always squealed his head off at such times. The middle classes were too busy and could see the classes below them had no success. The upper class had no need, and of course the wealthy neither. The wealthy , on the other hand were offended by its presence in what they considered to be under and within their control and sphere. Visitors would often comment on this pig, and the pig had a real talent for showing up at their fine estates just as they were to have a fine dining experience with their guests. From time to time the rich would get in a huff and decide to call a town meeting . Inevitably the day of the meeting or soon before, a new crisis would arise or perhaps a small flu would come upon them. Other times the circus would come to town or the main initiators would be called out of town on business.
No one knew for sure how long this state of affairs had existed, not even the eldest among them.
One time the pig even showed up at such a meeting, but moments before those in charge were called away to their homes for emergencies. Everyone there thought the meeting was about the condition of their main road and felt like chit chatting about the latest gossip about their town or their own daily problems and concerns.
In exasperation once the leading citizens secretly went to see an old man far out of town that had a reputation as a quiet reflective man, perhaps even a sage. They went without any fanfare because they did not want to be seen as helpless in a trivial matters such as this.
The mayor of town hat in hand respectfully knocked on the door, and it swung open from the force of the knock. There was food on the table and a candle was lit, and the back door was open, No one could be found anywhere. Each time they went they had the same result and the pig would always greet them returning to town on such occasions.
Well certainly to outer appearance this was just a pig. However our readers now have much more than the ordinary knowledge of the townsfolk concerning the pigs affairs, and we might begin to wonder about its history. At least the reader might ask themselves, who here is master and who figures for amusement?The story that is not evident on the surface would be useful as well.. Centuries ago there was a stranger who arrived in the town. He wasn't a storyteller, a minstrel, nor a seller of wares. This eventually peaked the towns curiosity as to his purpose for being among them. He certainly didn't talk much. A reputation as a good person began to form. His needs seemed few. And in truth he was a sort of holy man who was instructed to go to the town that he might learn of its character. There was no ill will in his heart, in fact, his heart was empty of good will or ill will. People when close by felt good about him or at least neutral.
Eventually two townsfolk became sort of pupils of his and felt they could benefit from associating with him. But after a while they found the sage only muttering quietly, "you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear." Somehow this phrase, new in those parts, found its way into the psyche and conversation of the townsfolk and eventually to the mayor. The mayor found himself going over this phrase quite often until he announced to those close to him" within this saying we have actually found a use for pigs ears that could make our town prosperous." Within weeks a commission was set up to do just that, at taxpayers expense of course.
About that time the sage said to his pupils "ears they have none" It was the end of winter and the corn that had been stored was eaten already. When this phrase became muttered by his 2 pupils, it also found its way into conversation. The mayor and his comrades believed it referred to the absence of corn.
The following year after large losses trying to sell "silk" purses the sage began muttering "a stitch in time saves 9" Later the mayor and council stumbled across this phrase around town and thought it meritorious. The idea was to capitalize on its popularity and benefit the wealthy clock manufactures. They passed a law that all tailors had to have a clock in view when sewing. A year later all the better tailors had moved to neighboring towns.
At that point the sage muttered to his 2 junior associates " they have no eyes" Again these words went from muttering and whispers to several weeks later the top of peoples conversation, and again the mayor and council encountered them in conversations. The council on the heels of the purse disaster felt criticized began to vote "Aye" instead of no to proposals brought before them, and passed still more cumbersome laws.
The sage muttered "there is real need for food for thought." Within months large meals were being served at the council meetings and little or no work was managed.
The sage muttered " There are snouts where noses should be" To this phrase as it spread among the town there was no reaction at all, only silence.
Silence is golden were in our sages thoughts and in the townsfolk as well. No laws were passed for quite a long time and they prospered.As the sage departed town he felt compelled to break the silence with " Never buy a pig in a polk." His 2 pupils left with him. Prudence was now a rare commodity and prosperity was becoming harder to endure in peace. The very next day a stranger came to town with a pig in his cage in quite a hurry asking only a price that a couple of turnips might fetch. Even if the pig was diseased there would be no great loss thought the mayor. Even the jacket and hat the pig wore were made by excellent tailors from a nearby town and would be worth something. It might be mentioned the pigs squeals were not to be ignored and occurred at uncomfortable times. That would be the most temporary of matters as he would soon be a free feast that the townsfolk would enjoy. In his thoughts the mayor thought to himself a cage is certainly not a bag hiding a cat. There was nothing hidden here from the ordinary eyes. The bargain was struck.
The reader should further know what the mayor could not know. The pig truly reflected his own nature, but unlike a typical pig, it was reflected in a way very visible to his human caretakers. In a way that reminded them of incredible similarities. Seen from the view of the world of pigs, there was a kind of total honesty and understanding within our pig about his nature that went far beyond the innate instincts born to an average pig. In fact this perfect understanding of who he was gave him a protection or a sort of invulnerability, and also worked as sort of a reminder to those who were not in tune with themselves.
In our own day and age the pig is a mascot for the towns soccer team, and has been for the last 35 years. It has been know to get up on its hind feet and squeal mightily when a goal is scored or when a hot dog is thrown to him from the stands. Our town, in a remote part of Europe, is no longer in the least uncomfortable around the pig and the residents have sort of adopted it as one of its own. Perhaps their nature has changed over the years to where there is no more discomfort. No sage has been there since the aforementioned sage so many centuries before. On the other side in his eternal life our sage perceives the extreme comfort of the town folk and constantly asks the One watching to send another reminder, If in human form, perhaps one a bit more course and pointed than his own nature.
- - - - - - - -
This Story was inspired by a true experience shared by my wife and I in Christchurch.
As we walked across a soccer field we kept hearing the noises of a child;s toy. We were by a dorm that had children sometimes, but no matter how we looked we couldn't find the source. In fact the only thing around was a large bird with white wings. We told the odd story to our friend Lucian who was an expert ornithologist. He said the large bird was a NZ style magpie and they copy noises!
David McCormack
Magpies in Christchurch
Rose and Rozak laughed and danced outdoors most of the summer. The small children came to love their time in the sunny afternoons on the empty soccer field and their cheerful sounds reflected it.
The nearby Magpie retorted. "Tree, tree, tree. Ha,ha,ha. Caw,caw,caw". Tee hee.
As the summer wore on in Christchurch the children delighted in the bird echoing their sounds.
Cheerio cheerio cheerio.
The magpie retorted Cheerio cheerio cheerio.
One watching their acceptance of everything around them would marvel at its simplicity and beauty. By mid June the sounds came from here and there around the soccer field. Nothing seemed odd to them, everything was a delight to them.
It was only several weeks later when nature arranged a rather large grouping composed of hundreds of magpies at dusk. Cats do not copy as is so often stated. The true copycats are magpies. They were picking up on all the children’s noises.
By mid July magpies flew out each day repeating the joyful noises they heard. Everywhere was heard the innocent and joyful noises of the children at play. Many in the area assumed it was a single magpie, that is, those aware enough to realize the source was indeed a bird.
“The” magpie slowly became somewhat of a celebrity, as people talked about the joyful sounds coming from nowhere. At first they talked to each other about it, then on the Internet, then radio, and later TV. The TV element obscured the truth with speculation as the saner element talked about the magpie; how it crisscrossed the city so effectively peppering its joyful sounds everywhere. There was a special feel in the air that was happy yet calm.
The real truth is it made for a very special summer in Christchurch as it citizens happily received the wondrous words and sounds that seemed to be ever fresh. Some insisted the sounds were of a little boy, others, a little girl.
The term “The Magical Magpie” was coined. The mayor called for and received protection for the magpies. The joy was felt all summer in Christchurch residents. The magpies felt the joy as well, the many visitors, and perhaps other perceptive creatures as well. Long time residents and many Maori’s felt a contentment and peace they had not experienced since their childhood.
Addendum
The magpies flew north that winter to traditional lands of the Maori. The sounds of a traditional song of welcome were in the air for several days, a song praising the eternal spirit for bringing guests. These joyful sounds helped uplift Christchurch the following summer as well and were warmly received.
Sixty years later Rozak and Rose, the two young children, recalled the two joyful summers in the city. As they did so, a magpie landed at their feet to repeat their joyful noises and to recall the Maori song of welcome.
Persnickety Toasters
Have you ever experienced the temperamental toaster? Mine went far beyond temperamental and actually went into the marriage counseling business.
One night after more than a year of excellent service, my bread wouldn’t stay down in the toaster. Fifty to a hundred times I tried on various settings, and not once would it stay down. Finally after reading the manual, making sure the elements were heating up. etc., I gave up and went to bed.
The next morning eager for my toast, I tried several more times without a hint of success. My wife joined me, and as she reached for the bread, I informed her toaster was broken and couldn’t be fixed. Without a smidgeon of hesitation she replied, “No its not, you just don’t know how to push it down.”
“No, no it’s definitely broken”, I protested. “I tried for more than an hour last night and again this morning.”
“I’ll show you”, she said. With a carefree air she put in the bread and pushed down the lever ‘her way’, which amused me, because it was the same as ‘my way’.
My eyes then beheld what my 55 years of life had taught me should not be happening, yet I watched it come to pass. She was not in the least surprised by her successful results, nor my expression! And yes, the toaster has worked perfectly for us ever since. I am still in a state of amazement as I write this. Each time I gently press down the toaster lever I am rewarded with perfect toast and I am reminded that no human can ever know anything with absolute certainty. A persnickety toaster can teach. Now I try not to discount an opinion that is alien to me and far from my experience.
After nearly a lifetime of surprising and educational experiences, I feel grateful to the one who watches over marriages.
The Frog Prince
THE frog comes along once in a lifetime, as if he were part of a vivid dream. There is no reason for a young woman to run away from such a frog, even though it was once a person of high rank in a kingdom to do with human affairs. Our frog?? It does not remember its former life as a person. In it's life as a frog it is also high in rank in the society of frogs. Frogs not only have a social order, there is much similar to our own society in their world, though most humans refuse to be open to reality. If you were a frog as our friend here is, any arrogance about that question would melt away. A fairy tale to a frog would be about some two footed giant that lives in huge groups in tall glass boxes. Or that the strange noises that come out of the giant relates to some kind of societal communication. Far fetched indeed to our green friend, though he lived it once.
His life represents to a high order of beings, those made of light and filled with obedience, a cautionary tale for humankind. For them aspects of divine mercy are highlighted. When in his human saga our green friend was the labor of a such a creature of light- we will use the term guardian. The human prince was taken on as a project. It had nothing to do with the fact the human being was truly nice at court or was well regarded. It was also incidental that he was handsome and well mannered, sporting a dashing mustache, and never argumentative, and had bright future. A prince of this order doesn't concern themselves generally with their material possessions. No, that is not what princes of rank generally occupy themselves with. It is their desire to be well regarded at court. Our prince, within his heart, aspired to be admired.
Many persons at court did find him agreeable and pleasant as he worked at earning their favor all throughout his twenties. By his thirties he even had a small cadre of admirers . So it would always seemingly be, if not better. As he passed into his forties life became less simple. Unbeknownst to our prince his guardian patiently waited working within and without the soul.
To please people who have not known you is easy. To please those who are intimately familiar and have had a variety of experiences with you is not.
And if a guardian is allowed to make every last piece of your hair fall out, that will nudge things a bit. The truth is, the princes entire life was built upon nothing real. That is to say, his imagination of what their imagination contained. Confusion and demoralization crept into the heart of our prince. His guardian found this a good sign, something real to work with. It wasn't even a couple of months when former friends began whispering all kinds of stories to each other about his missing eyebrows, leg hair, etc. The end result was he gave up a lifetime of habit and eventually gave up trying to please anyone at all, Two more demoralizing years after that he began to wonder, who am I really? His guardian was then able to come to him in a dream talking as a human voice, but in the form of a frog."You will be like me in the future. When this happens you will wonder why you did not heed this dream."
The prince woke up immediately to see a frog hop off his bed. He followed it to its small pond where the frog submerged. As the night wore on the prince fell asleep there dreaming of life as a frog. In this frog life he was well regarded, the equivalent to a prince, with markings that frogs admire in their society. All the frogs liked him and it felt pleasant to him indeed. There was nothing strange at all in his feelings about being a frog. In fact it was to the contrary. He did not even remember being human while he dreamt. And while this particular dream transpired his guardian came to him as a large creature with a handsome mustache, a human image of his former self. His guardian said,"You were a creature of a high order and looked like this. Would you like to return to your human world? I will warn you it will not always be pleasant. You may accept or decline. He considered for a long time. Finally in a halting voice he accepted, though he realized it was extremely difficult to embrace what he was agreeing to.
"You will wake up and this life as a frog will disappear. It will be only the dream that it truly is."
Instantly the prince was awake and realized the frog life was only a dream. However this dream was as real as any event he had ever experienced, if not much more so. He remembered how he had walked to the pond after waking and the warning of the special frog in the earlier dream that transpired in his bedroom He began to realize he easily could have remained a frog.
That year things became more difficult. A coup removed his blood line from the royalty, and he was exiled from court.
As he had no choice, he moved quite a distance and became a teacher of horseman ship and fine manners to those with money, but lacking in grace.
He married. He adjusted to his new life and saw that work could be noble. His wife supported him to her full ability. He knew the relationship with his wife was based on a true love and a wish to help him in his life, and later his children loved him as well. Yet who was he? Did he now know? This wish to know nagged him for a long time until finally his guardian prompted him." Please my maker, show me my true nature."
At once he felt like the frog again from the dream. He wondered if he could change. He realized from all these experiences that his nature as a frog was to want to be well regarded by his peers. It occurred to him when reviewing everything that had happened that there was probably some sort of power intervening in his outer life and was involved in the changing of his appearance. It also occurred to him that if he lived out his life surrendered and prayed to lose his desire for approval, perhaps he would eventually acquire a new nature. This is the path he followed for five years and was even more loved by his family.The time finally came for an exam or sorts, an assignment given to the guardian of our prince. His hair grew back and his smooth frog like skin grew hair as well. In fact he became extremely handsome. He made friends at the court where he taught manners and gained fame for his equestrian feats. Soon they even invited him to join the court. The king ordered he be given a title for his exceptional ability (he had quite improved the kings abilities in horsemanship) and for his fine manners.
It should probably be mentioned here that his wife was graceless and their two children had no hair to speak of. They were very pale with a greenish tint to their complexion. His wise wife intentionally stayed at distance from the court in order to help him. At court they were pressing him continually to bring his wife and children for festive affairs. An introduction of his family to the king was finally rumored. He was ill for a while, yet the day arrived when he was sent a squire commanding them all to appear the next day. He was trapped. That night he contemplated everything. After twenty years of toil could he give up everything and perhaps move on again? Every patron he had was at court.He dreamt again. His guardian appeared, this time as a human.
"Remember me? "
" Yes yes, you were the frog that came to me before in a dream. Only your outer appearance is different."
"Please ask what is on your mind" said the guardian.
" All right then No matter what happens tomorrow, will I stay in the outer form of a human?
"Yes."
He decided not to ask more and awoke.
...................prayers change his fate...............
Meanwhile his wife had a dream, a dream that felt very much more like a premonition than a dream. This was a gift from her guardian and the children's guardians as well.
She dreamt that her husband had sent them far away to her mothers to live for good. Her husband told the king the next day the family had move to another land where she was born to look after her mother. The dream continued on into the princes future. From that day on she became aware her prince could not see any person in their human form. The part of themselves inside that lent itself to the nature of a frog was all his eyes could see. No matter how hard he tried he could only see various frogs. So he never saw a human form again, not even his own. Never the less he was too attached to his comfortable and renowned life to leave it. Upon his death he found himself in the very frog pond he had once experienced and liking it very much.
Now there was no guardian that was able to reach him. When a very young woman approached the pond he was strangely unafraid. All the frogs around ran from the giant earth shaking predator. She was wearing a wig and had a pale complexion with a green tint. She also felt strangely comfortable with this frog and then began to daydream about her father who had died in a neighboring kingdom at court. It was said his horse threw the renowned rider into a small frog pond and broke his neck.
The wife of the prince then woke up. She prayed for her husband and implored the help of their ancestors and the children's guardian to pray for him as well. The guardians were then ordered by the one committed to mercy to give the prince the same dream at dawn.
Upon awakening husband and wife looked at each other with no words exchanged at all and packed their things and quietly departed. They lived very simply in another land always giving thanks to the source of mercy and for the enormous help they had been to each other in their lives. The children grew up with out the need to feel approval from anyone. Their complexion became a little less pale, and their hair grew. They led lives that were satisfying, peaceful, and happy and became a real help to all who knew them. They prayed for their parents and were a joy to them, and devoted themselves and their children to the one committed to mercy.
The End