While Living In Soquel... California... Her Heavenly Father... Forbids... His Loving Daughter... Laura... To Worship Him... At The Santa Cruz SUBUD House...! And Also Forbids Her... To Observe The Upcoming Ramadan Fast...! All Because Of Her Disobedience... And Defiant Willfullness... Of His Perfect Will For Her... Having Angrily Expressed His Disappointment... While Totally Paralyzing Her Body... In San Francisco...! Then Informs Laura... About Her Possible... Future Life... Of Work... ... And Marriage...!

After Laura's recent... second disobedience... of God's Will for her... when she dared to observe... the Ramadan Fast... at least... since He Had Forbidden her... to attend both Group Latihan... and the upcoming Ramadan Fast... in Santa Cruz... where He Had Sent her to... from San Francisco... and she felt it might be all right... if she showed her sincerity... to Him... by at least observing the suffering of fasting... she became violently ill... on the third day...!

And now living in Soquel... in a charming annexed apartment... to the Baker's house... built by SUBUD Brother... Rafael Baker... himself... she found herself wondering... looking out of her bedroom window... on a bright sunny morning... a few days later... whether she would ever stop... constantly feeling... the Heavy Weight... of her State of Disgrace... inside her...!

A most unpleasant State of Disgrace... that her Heavenly Father... Had Put her Into... Making her feel its Heavy Weight... acutely... after He Paralyzed... her whole body... one morning... about two months earlier... when she awoke... in her apartment... in San Francisco...!

As Penance... for her recent gross disobedience... of signing her husband Mark's divorce papers... against the Will... of her Heavenly Father... Conveyed to her... via her life-long... Guardian Angel Friend... even though Mark... was already blissfully living... with his passionate... Argentinian lady love... and she was happy for him... her Heavenly Father... Had Forced her... to become a cleaning woman... for the Catholic church... and its two priests' houses... earning only a pittance... of $8.00 a week...!

Letting Her Know... In No Uncertain Terms... That He Was Fed Up... With Her Disobedience... (signing her husband Mark's divorce papers... against His Will) ... And Her Defiant Willfulness... Deciding Whether To Let Her Die... Then And There... In A State Of Disgrace... Or... ... ...

And she never got to hear... the rest of His Angry Tirade... because... in the Heavy Silence... that Followed... her dear SUBUD Sister... Rosada Cantrell... who had helped her so much... in trying to be a good Spiritual Helper... for SUBUD San Francisco... suddenly came bursting... through her Locked door... just as her Paralysis Lifted... with the Power Of God... Blazing Forth from her... telling her... that she had Received... to Come And Rescue her... out of the city of San Francisco... right away...!

Later on... once safely ensconced... in Rosada's charming house... on the outskirts... of the city... she explained to Laura... that she had become aware... how very difficult... it had become for her... to Spiritually handle... the SUBUD ladies... who were living... with drug addicts... who... during Latihan... seemed to make a beeline... straight towards her... hanging on to her body... for dear life... and staring into her eyes... as if desperately... begging her for her help...!

And that living in the city... which was ruled... by the satanic forces... was becoming more and more difficult... and overbearing... for her sensitive self... to endure...

Which reminded her... of the time... about three months earlier... when she had been so eagerly looking forward... to finally seeing the great metropolis... that her father... Papa Rau... over the years... had raved to her so much about... telling her that San Francisco... of all the great cities... was by far... his most favorite... in the whole wide world...!

And he had taught her... the rousing song... "San Francisco" ... which they would happily sing together... in perfect harmony... with him accompanying them... on his Spanish guitar... when they lived in Kobe... Japan...

And how... while she was staying... with the Robels... having recently arrived from Miami... and they were driving... on the freeway... destined for the German Hall... for Latihan... and got closer and closer... to the great city... to her amazement... she had become increasingly nauseous... with a frightening feeling... of foreboding inside her... that she was headed for disaster...!

And how her dear SUBUD Brother... Raymond Robel... who was driving his car... and noticing her increasing discomfort... had explained to her... that what she was experiencing... being so Spiritually sensitive... were the satanic forces... which ruled the city...!

And now... living in the Baker's annexed apartment... in Soquel... she recalled how... two days later... in Rosada's house... after Being Put to Sleep... for twelve hours... so that on the following day... she missed the scheduled... Sunday SUBUD picnic... but made herself useful... by reorganizing the files of Rosada's husband... Rachman's baby photography business... she suddenly Received the Command...:

"Now Time For You... To Go To Santa Cruz...!"

Where... as Divine Penance... for her gross disobedience... in signing her husband's divorce papers... against God's Will... He Would Make her... become a cleaning woman... for the Catholic Church... while at the same time... Denying her the happiness... of worshipping Him... in Group Latihan... and observing... the upcoming Ramadan Fast...!

And now wondering... feeling forlorn... whether Her Beloved Heavenly Father... Would ever let her... Blissfully... worship Him again... in the Miraculous Latihan Kejiwaan of SUBUD... or observe... the very Spiritually beneficial... Ramadan Fast... Laura suddenly heard... His familiar Voice... once again... in the silence... of her bedroom... at the Baker's apartment... only this time... He Sounded Loving... as He Said...:

"I Am Most Displeased... With Your Willfulness... And Disobedience... Of My Will For You... Deciding... Whether To Give You Another Chance... At Work... ... ... (and after the longest Silence) ... And At Marriage...!"

But first... Laura was to undergo... a State of necessary... Spiritual Crisis... for about five months... unable to work at all... and even becoming frightened... of the daylight... and too scared... to step outside the safety... of her apartment...!

Those terrifying five months... of Laura's Spiritual Crisis... ending in becoming... her final SUBUD name of Muftiah... are more fully described... in a subsequent Chapter... as shown... in the Table of Contents...

...read more in Chapter 13

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