Muftiah Experiences "Dying Of Stroke... In Full Awareness..." ... On A Daily Basis...!

For the past seventeen months... and to date... in 1984... Muftiah still Suffers... the same Allah-Willed Symptoms...!

Every few days... she suffers what her four brain specialists have diagnosed... as "mini-strokes"... an affliction... that she has inherited... from her ancestors... all of whose fate... was to die of strokes...!

When she was in her thirties... her Contessa mother... told her darling Tzi-Tzi... daughter... about how all their ancestors... like the famous violin maker... Amati... and Leoncavallo... composer of the very popular opera... "Pagliacci"... had died of stroke... in their fifties... and that she should expect to die... the same way... when she reached that age...!

At the time... horrified at what her mother was telling her... Tzi-Tzi had brushed aside... her horrible prediction... putting it down... to her usual propensity... of putting her barely tolerated daughter... off balance... and ill at ease...

The brain specialists... believing her to be only in her thirties... for she still looked twenty years younger... than her actual age... of fifty-two... had all expressed surprise... that such a comparatively young woman... should already be suffering with strokes...

But when they heard... to their astonishment... that she was already fifty-two and a half... and about what her mother had told her... they sympathetically told her... one by one... that there was nothing they could do for her... because of her advanced age... and since her affliction... was hereditary...!

And that she has been very lucky... that the many strokes... had not incapacitated her... to the point of total paralysis... each specialist... warning her... that it was imperative... that she remain in bed... for the rest of her life... to avoid a massive... fatal one...!

Curiously enough... ever since her first God-Willed Stroke... her Spontaneous Latihans... Consist of a great deal of Received Yawning... which Causes a gradual Intensification... of the "baseball" Pressure Sensation... in her head... and Tightness... of her skin... and Numbness... down the length... of her six foot two... left side...!

And the "Full Awareness" ... of these debilitating Symptoms... Causes her to surrender herself... to her Creator... even more deeply... as never before...!

At the same time... they Grace her... paradoxically... with such a Light Feeling of Joy... that she feels... as if she could Lift off the earth... at any second...!

And whenever her suffering... becomes so unbearable... at times... that she begs her beloved Almighty Allah... to Let her see a doctor... after initially Letting her see... the four brain specialists... mainly to satisfy the doubting SUBUD Members... Allah's Answer Would Always Be...:

"No Doctor... Only Allah Is Your Doctor...!"

Likewise... whenever she wants to ask Almighty Allah about something... in particular... she is Reminded... that her only concern... should be about "Dying of Stroke... In Full Awareness..." ... and that she should ask... about nothing else...!

During the first year... after Receiving Spontaneous Latihan... in bed... upon awakening... early in the morning... she would be Guided... to get up... for an hour or so...

First staggering to the bathroom... on wobbly legs... for her usual Latihan Shower... while feeling the intense... Swollen Sensation... of a Baseball... in her head... not unlike the pressure... one feels in one's head... while swimming underwater...!

Then... at about 12:00 noon... she will Receive... to get out of her bed... to prepare something to eat... for herself... wash the dishes... and sometimes even clean the small kitchen... and water the plants... despite what all four brain specialists... had warned her...!

She never had energy left over... for anything else... so that it fell to Farlan... to do the dusting... vaccuming... as well as preparing their evening meal... a real "Prihatin" for him...

"Prihatin" literally means... suffering of the heart... Restraining oneself from enjoying food... drink... sleep... and all kinds of other pleasures... like drinking... and smoking... a kind of asceticism of fasting... "Prihatin" being excellent... for one's Spiritual Growth... and Development...

Since that incredible dawn... of her very first Allah-willed Stroke... on October 28th... 1982... even today... on September 2nd ... 2008... some twenty-six years later...! ... as she re-edits the volume of her work... for the very last time... at the ripe old age of seventy-eight and a half... she has the very same... hereditary Symptoms...!

Although for the past nine years... her whole body... except for her head... has become totally paralyzed... lasting for several hours... each time...!

And finally Being Allowed... to see a doctor... here in Grand Bay... Alabama... because of new problems... with her heart... and it was discovered that... in addition to her life-long affliction... of "paroxysmal tachycardia..." ... of her heart... which had been flaring up... every single day... she had also developed... "mitral valve prolapse..." of the heart...!

And her dear doctor friend... Dr Allen... prescribed Atenolol beta blockers... which helped for a few years... but are now no longer effective...!

And to this very day... she is constantly Being Prepared... to leave earth... and Reminded frequently... in exactly the same Phrases... as she originally wrote... in her "Open Letter" ... of January 3rd... 1987... to all her SUBUD Brothers and Sisters... all over the SUBUD world... such as... to give a very few examples...:

"Now Experience Process Of Dying Of Stroke... In Full Awareness...!"... "Muftiah Mati...!... "Rise Up Now... And Go To Allah...!"... "Sleep Now... And Go To Allah...!

And many more... along the same lines... all of them Reminding her... that she is about to leave earth... at any moment...!

As her wonky heart... now continues to flare up... several times... every single day... with the continuing... very powerful Inner Urge... to go on writing...!

Two Great Blessings... Have Occurred... during the past years... of 2005... and 2006...!

The First... in 2005... Being... that her regular... fortnightly Migraines... of Ancestral Purification... suffered... ever since her very first period... when she was almost twelve... in New York... after some sixty-three years... Have... Hallelujah... finally Come To An End...!

And right after a very significant Visitation... from her Beloved Bapak...! Which made her wonder... whether Bapak had put in a good word for her... to Allah Almighty God...!

And the Second Blessing... recently... in 2006... Hallelujah... was when she discovered Black Kohosh... and Soy Isoflavones...!

And Being Given Permission... by Almighty Allah... to take them... she no longer suffers... with severe hot flashes... and night sweats... as she has... on and off... for some thirty-nine years... beginning... right after her necessary pan hysterectomy... when she was about thirty-seven... !

Ever since she was Guided... About A Month Ago... To Stop Her Daily Taking... Of Any More... Of Her 13 Vitamins...!

Being Told... That All Her Nourishment... And Nutrition... And Vitamins... Would Be Coming... From The Healthy Foods... She Is Guided To Eat... Daily...

And That She Is To Daily Immerse Herself... In Her Spa... Where... While Being In A Surrendered State... Of Latihan... She Will Receive... All The Physical Exercises... Necessary... For Her... Through The Water Of Life...!

Praise God... From Whom All Her Blessings Flow... And Flow... And Flow... And Keep On Flowing...!

As He Continues... To Guide Her Life... So Perfectly... Especially These Past Over Forty-seven Years...

Oh Thank You... Heavenly Father... Allah Almighty God... This Humble Daughter Of Yours... Is So Very Grateful To You... For Your Perfect Guidance... For The Moments... Of Her Life...

And For Your Brilliant Curbing... Of The Negative... Self-destructive Traits... Of Her Willful... Defiant... Fiercely Independent Character... By Making Her Worship You... Inwardly... As A Muslim... (Islam)... And No Longer... As A Christian... When She Was About Forty-three...

Islam Meaning... Being Obedient... And Surrendered... To The Will Of Allah Almighty God... At All Times...

...read more in Chapter 49

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