Chapter 1

Farewell New York... Farewell America... Until 1971...!

The morning of our very last day - the day of our departure... from the shores of the United States of America - finally dawned... at the beginning of a new month... March 1st... and I remember thinking... as I gazed outside our tall windows... for the last time... how utterly full of doom... and gloom... the grey... overcast skies seemed... looming dismally close... above my head...

Upon awakening... I had been quite amazed... and relieved... that I was no longer bleeding... and a little puzzled... because Prima had told me... that the cycle would last... usually for five days... And here it was only three...! Although... come to think of it... the bleeding... had been very heavy... so perhaps I bled the amount of five days... in three... with 1942... being a leap year... and the month of February... having twenty-nine days...

And when... all ready and packed... I stood in the doorway... of my lovely bedroom... looking back... for the last time... it dawned on me... that the innocent-looking walls... had been privy... to many deeply intimate questions... whispered in the dark.... as I lay in bed... puzzling over some soul-affecting... extraordinary... and or shocking experience... I had undergone... that particular day... with me engaging... in yet another... intimate téte-a-téte... with my Heavenly Father... while the night shrouded the earth... in mystery... outside my misted-over windows...

And when I cast... a final backward glance... around our hotel suite... which had been our home... for about a month... I found myself reflecting on the recent... most poignant experience... that of my very first cycle of monthly menstruation... now barely three days ago... and the terrifying cruelty... my stepmother had inflicted on me... and the subsequent... most timely rescue... by my sister... Summoned to her baby sister... by God... via one of His Angels...

And recalling her tender... and understanding... motherly kindness... the tears suddenly stung my eyes... as the realization hit me... that I had now... irrevocably... and finally... reached the threshold of adolescence... leaving my childhood behind me... forever...

Despite the fact... that Papa... had shocked me... after our very last breakfast... in Manhattan... that morning... by suddenly ordering me... to undo my single grown-up braid crown... which he had so admired... but only a few weeks ago... and rebraid my hair... into the two despised pigtails... once more... sternly reminding me... that I was still a school girl...!

Papa Rau and his entourage of six... were all already assembled downstairs... in the warm... inviting lobby... of the Swiss Dauphin Hotel... as I joined them... standing around...

And soon... everybody was saying their fond farewells... to the most friendly... and accommodating staff... of our temporary home... whose great efforts... to make our stay with them... as comfortable as possible... had been greatly appreciated... and not gone unnoticed... by any one of us... And there were lumps in our throats... as we shook their hands... for the last time...

And while we waited... for the taxi to arrive... every time someone... swished through the revolving doors... the bitingly cold wind... would gust in behind them... penetrating our clothing... making us all shiver... involuntarily...

"The vicious wind of March... "coming in like a lion"... is like an evil omen..!"... flashed through my mind... and as the thought of doom... hit me... an inexplicable... icy cold feeling of premonition... shuddered up and down my spine...!

And it took every ounce of effort... not to make a run for it... because for some unknown reason... I was suddenly deathly afraid... to leave the warm... familiar... safe surroundings... of the hotel... most reluctant even... to venture one footstep outside...!

For the first time in my life... I was experiencing a contrariness... of my usual optimistic... pioneering spirit... which had always loved to explore... the exciting unknown - a predominant trait... in those born under the sign of Aries...

But there I was... suddenly terribly frightened... to leave America's safe shores... deathly afraid... to venture forth... into whatever the unknown future... might hold for me...!

But it would be foolish... to voice my sudden feelings of misgiving... that we were headed... for a harrowing time... in war-torn Europe - besides... I doubted whether anybody... would have been able to persuade Papa Rau... to stay on in New York... persuade him not to go back home to Switzerland... his beloved country of birth... but beseech the American authorities... to give him an extension of time... with the ultimate intention... of becoming a naturalized citizen... of the United States of America...

And when we duly arrived at the docks... of New York Harbor... as if confirming... my sense of gloom and doom... I noticed that the murky waters below... were just as grey and dull... as the skies above...

And as I noticed... the long outlines... of our smallish ship... for the first time... the bold lettering... on her side... showed that she was called the "Serpa Pinto" ... followed by Lisboa Portugal...

I was bitterly disappointed... for compared to the regal... snow-white purity... of the graceful lines... of the majestic "Klipfontein..."... this ship seemed quite ordinary looking... and nondescript... reminding me somewhat... of the "Tjisadane..."... looking just as neglected... and uncared for...

There were not that many people... anxious to set sail... for the devastated terrain of Europe... so that there were only a handful of "Bon Voyage" send-offs... with Prima’s “Philip Morris”... ever loving boyfriend... frantically waving goodbye... to his beloved... from the docks... not to mention a marked absence... of the emotionally stirring... "Anchors Aweigh"... usually played... by some band...

Hoping against hope... that the interior of the ship... would be less disappointing... than the exterior... I was eager to see... what our quarters... would look like... and was directed to go down... not two decks... as on the "Klipfontein"... but three decks... and to the lowest level... at that..!

And the lower down I went... meekly walking behind Prima and Remo... the more my anxious heart sank... and when... finally having reached our destination... Prima opened the cabin door... with a "knowing" feeling of dread... inside me... I was dismayed to see... that my sister and I... were expected to share a tiny... narrow... stiflingly hot cabin... equipped with nothing but bunk beds... one on top of the other... and a square black metal closet... for our clothes...!

Looking around me... with consternation... I wondered how on earth Prima... who was becoming quite voluptuous... and I... billeted together... in such a cramped space... would be able to maneuver our bodies around... without bumping into each other... whenever both of us... happened to be standing... in this small "cubbyhole"... at the same time... doing our best to cope... not only with the rolling... and pitching... of the ship... as we crossed the angry Atlantic... but with the constant vibrations... from the engine room close by...

Poor Remo was not to fare any better... either... perhaps even worse... for his tiny cabin... adjacent to ours... was right next door to the engine room...! But he did not seem to mind the vibrations - even composing some music... to the rhythms of the whirring... and the chugging sounds... they made...!

Our cabin quickly became too oppressive for me... so I decided to unpack later... and go up to the top deck instead... and join the rest of the milling passengers... or perhaps even explore the ship a little...

Chapter 2

My Wild... Gypsy Sister... Prima... The Careless Heart-breaker...!

Little realizing... that I was about to set in motion... a monumental event... of life-altering... tragic proportions... I raced along the passageway... my ultra-long legs... swiftly carrying me forward... headed for the stairway... up ahead...

...And as I rounded a corner... I ran pell-mell... smack dab... into a solid... immovable object...!

And as my head collided... full tilt... with what felt like a broad chest... the breath knocked out of me.... momentarily... the impact setting my senses... reeling in a daze... I noticed blearily... that I had bumped into... of all people... a very tall... very handsome man... and that he was dressed to the hilt... in an officer's uniform... looking very smart... indeed...

And as I gazed way up... at this gorgeous specimen... of the opposite sex... blinking... and saw that his chest... sported a lot of shiny buttons... and that there were a pair of glittering insignia of wings... on both sides of his collar... and on the brim of his hat... I was even more impressed...

He looked very much... like my second favorite movie star... Gary Cooper - Cary Grant was my very first favorite... and always has been - and as I gazed up at him... feeling somehow very safe... and secure in his arms... which had instantly shot out... to steady my careening body... feeling totally at ease with him... because he exuded such a distinct quality... of quiet inner strength... masculine to the core... the thought immediately flashed through my mind... that he would be the absolute perfect mate... for my sister Prima...!

And... without any preamble whatsoever... nor ascertaining first... whether he was married... or not... with his outstretched arms... gripping the tops of my shoulders firmly... I boldly blurted out... excitedly... that I had a wonderful... beautiful sister called Prima... and how absolutely sure I was... that he would fall madly in love with her... and she with him...!

And as I spoke my prophetic words... there was a sudden "knowing"... deep inside me... with an absolute certainty... that he would be the one man... who would be able to tame her wild... tempestuous... wayward gypsy ways..!

It was no secret... that she had already caused more chaos... and devastation... to the lives of countless specimens... of the male persuasion... than a young girl of her age... should have...!

And those boys... and even grown men... who had been foolish enough... to gravitate into her treacherous orbit... bound for heartbreak... each one believing... that he would be the one man... who could tame her wild... tempestuous spirit... were sadly disillusioned... for... to date... not a single one of them... had succeeded...!

If ever there was a term called...: "man killer..."... as opposed to "lady killer"... Prima fit the bill... to a tee...! There is a baby picture of her... sitting on a fouton... stark naked... with already a full mane of glorious... curly dark hair... and she is biting into an apple... with the most mischievous... impish... “come hither” look... in her flashing dark eyes - Eve... or more likely... Lillith... Adam’s temptress... in miniature...!

It was a known fact... that... by the age of twelve... already... her shameless flirting... and impetuous ways... had driven two grown men... literally insane...!

The more tragic of the two... was a tall... young... handsome... Eurasian... named "Jishin" (Japanese for earthquake)... because he was born... in the middle of one of Japan's worst earth tremors... the upward-wrenching kind... that splits the ground wide open... into deep chasms...

After she had quickly grown tired... of his fawning attentions... carelessly tossing him... and his love for her... aside... with disdain... he had gone quite mad...!

And the only word the poor... shattered man could utter... piteously crying out... was her name...: "Prima... Prima... Prima...!"... over and over again... like a horrible litany... of soul deep grief...

I had seen Jishin... with my own eyes... as he sat abjectly in his cell... in the mental hospital... when I suddenly had an urge... to go and visit this dear young man... for whom I had a secret soft spot...

And when I entered his stark quarters... equipped with nothing... but his cot... and a wooden chair... the bare walls around him... bleak and cheerless... he had looked up... his eyes blazing with hope... for an instant... that his beloved Prima... had finally come to see him...

And my sympathetic heart... had gone out to him... as he gazed up at me... with a glazed look in his eyes... looking so pathetic... as he intoned plaintively... in a querulous... heartbreaking voice...:

"Prima... Prima... Prima...?"

What a terrible... tragic waste... to have been thus reduced... from having been the ISY's star athlete... excelling in all kinds of sports... always laughing and gay... utterly charming... breaking many a female heart... before Prima came along... to this broken-down caricature... of a promising human being...

Prima had become sexually promiscuous... already from the age of nine... when she had engaged... in a brief love affair... with the world-famous... free-spirited... handsome blond Russian basso... Feodor Chaliapin... during his concert tour in Japan - or so my mother had told me... Perhaps his attraction for Prima... had been triggered by the fact... that he himself... had an Italian wife... at the time... whom Prima strongly resembled...!

And by her present age... of already a very mature... seventeen and a half... she had already broken... and strewn about her... the shattered pieces... of many a devoted male heart... carelessly toying with them...

How many countless times... had I seen her twist males... around her little finger... enslaving them... to her every madcap whim... and never once had I seen a boy... man... teacher... or even Papa... able to tame her wild gypsy spirit... control her tempestuous ways...

Hers was the enviable... perfect oval face... and slightly olive... flawless complexion - not for her the ugly ravages of acne - and with her crowning glory of thick... richly colored... glossy chestnut hair... naturally curly as well... framing perfectly round... seemingly pitch black eyes... until one saw them... reflected by the sun... when they became a soft... shimmering dark brown - eyes that gazed out upon the world... with a bird-like look of lively inquisitiveness... just like her mother's...

Full of a never ending... mischievous zest for life... living it to the fullest... she epitomized her birth sign of Leo... to the hilt... standing proudly... and confidently erect... and looking taller... than she actually was... as she faced the daunting world...

But... alas... she had one very tragic drawback... Unlike the usual Italian temperament... of letting all grievances out... loudly... and unabashedly... to all and sundry... within earshot... she bottled up everything... inside her - all her disappointments... and suffering... which could not help but result... ultimately... in severe bouts of mental depression... years later... becoming a hopeless alcoholic... and manic-depressive... for many years...

And by the age... of only twenty-one... she had already been diagnosed... as having her body riddled... with alcoholic poisoning... for the third time..!

And our positions became reversed... with me becoming her motherly protector... and rescuer... on many a poignant... drunken occasion...!

I had always adored... my big sister... who had tenderly mothered me... so very often... first... from my earliest memory... during the frequent absences from home... of our mother... who enjoyed preening... at the Yokohama Country Club... basking in the hot... lustful glances... of her ardent admirers... rather than staying at home... and being a proper mother to her young children... and then later on... from the age of six... during the painful years of separation from her... after she divorced Papa Rau... and married Alfred Stempfle...

There had been many... many times... when I had wished... with all my heart... that I could have been closer... to Prima's age... thus more easily blending... into her crowd of adoring friends... enjoying their company... instead of being the one gangly... awkwardly too tall... six years younger baby sister... who didn't fit in... but who was often spitefully forced on her... by Xenia... and reluctantly tolerated... by Prima... to tag along... always feeling tense... and uncomfortably out of place...

And now here I was... in the narrow passageway... going on twelve... standing almost chest to chest... with this gorgeous male specimen...

As if reading my thoughts... he smiled... and in such an endearing way... his warm brown eyes... crinkling at the corners... just like Gary Cooper’s... the great actor... whom I had actually seen performing... with Ingrid Bergman... on that never to be forgotten day... at Warner Brothers Studios... that my heart instantly melted... enslaving me to him... forever... on the spot...!

And looking down at me... from his great height... making me feel dwarfed... and suddenly extremely self-conscious... as my heart started to hammer away... in my chest... he dropped his right hand... from my shoulder... and engulfing mine in his big one... shook it very firmly...

And looking deep into my eyes... he pronounced... in a resonating masculine voice... sounding very serious... that he was very much looking forward... to meeting my sister... adding politely that... since we would all be sailing on the ship... together... for the next nine days or so... it was inevitable... that their paths should cross...

I immediately sensed that... being now anxious to get away... from this skinny... gangly girl... he was merely making polite conversation... not wanting to disappoint a baby sister's romantic illusions... and dashing her hopes... about her adored older sister...

And he had no inkling... whatsoever that... in fact... he had been talking... about the one person... who was about to become... the most cherished love... of his short life...!

And as I watched... his receding back... as he walked away from me... striding purposefully... his movements lithe and graceful... the certainty grew even stronger... within my very soul... with each step he took... that he was indeed... the perfect mate for Prima...!

The unmistakable aura... of his mature... quiet... inner strength... lingered behind him... and I was now filled... with an undeniable feeling of urgency... to find my big sister... and tell her of the extraordinary... accidental meeting... I had just had...!

Just at that moment... I saw her rounding the corner... carrying some suitcases... heading towards me... and our dismal... tiny cabin... way down below sea level... having just missed seeing him...

And when she came abreast of me... immediately sensing my ill-concealed impatience... because my eyes were so shiny... and I was jumping up and down... with excitement... she stopped dead in her tracks... and stammered...

"W-wh-at's got into you... Grace...? What is it...?"

Instead of answering her... I excitedly grabbed hold of her arm... and pulled her along... and the way in which she looked up at me... questioningly... made it very difficult for me... not to blurt out... what had just transpired... moments ago... in the passageway...

I had no intention... of saying anything to her... not until we were safely behind the closed door of our cabin... out of earshot... but hurrying her along... I couldn't contain my raging inner "knowing"... any longer... and unable to help myself... blurted out... my eyes as wide as saucers...:

"Oh Prima... you'll never guess... what just happened...! I've got the most wonderful news to tell you...!"

And no sooner... had I slammed the door to our tiny cabin behind us... when I pushed her down... on the bottom bunk... and... looking down at her... said in a hushed... dramatic whisper...:

"You just barely missed an encounter... in the flesh... with the most handsome man... I have ever seen... the spitting image of none other... than your very favorite dreamboat... Gary Cooper... his Doppelganger... at least...!

And because I told him all about how beautiful... and wonderful you are... he's very anxious to meet you... What do you think of that...?"

... ending my breathless account... with a huge grin... extremely pleased with myself...

I expected at least some modicum... of animated reaction from her... or at least some hint of interest... and was flabbergasted... by her display of utter lack of enthusiasm... as she merely shrugged her shoulders... with an off-handed... rude...:

"So what...?"

... distinctly conveying her utter indifference... to my excited news... in no uncertain manner... her whole demeanor... brushing off the to me... most momentous... fateful incident... as trivially insignificant...!

I was thoroughly crushed... for it was clear to me... that she was totally unimpressed... even when I babbled on... in desperation... trying to impress her... by describing his fascinating... manly qualities... and his shiny uniform... with silver wings on his collar... and hat...

But she remained... obstinately unenthusiastic... her negative reaction... a sore disappointment for me... putting a huge damper... on my hitherto high spirits...

And I consoled myself... with the thought... that she was probably heart-sore... still suffering... from the forced separation... from her most recent boyfriend... the "Call for Philip Morris" midget... she would have run away to Canada with... if her passport... hadn't been confiscated... by the American government...

My heart sank lower and lower... nevertheless... until I made myself realize that... since there had already been so many male admirers... in Prima's short... seventeen and a half years of life... it stood to reason... that she would be unimpressed... at hearing about yet another possible suitor... in her long line of panting wooers...

So I decided to say no more... about the handsome "dreamboat"... the perfect mate for her... and in silence... preoccupied myself with unpacking my suitcases... and putting my things away... in half of the small... built-in metal closet...

But Prima's utter... cold indifference... began to rankle inside me... and getting thoroughly annoyed with her... I muttered to myself...:

"It would serve you right... if I got him to fall in love with me... first...! And then... suddenly realizing... that he was the only man for you... after all... you would try to take him away from me... but it would be too late for you... because by that time... he would have irrevocably lost his heart to me... having eyes only for his "precious little Graziella...”... or perhaps some other... special pet name... he would have for me...!"

My unpacking finally done... my spirit more and more crushed... and feeling more and more foolish... by the minute... my throat so choked up... that I could not even ask if... and how... I had offended her... as she kept utterly silent... doing her own unpacking of clothes... I could not wait to get out of the now stifling... depressing confinement... of our narrow cabin... the prolonged silence... between us... making me very conscious... of the sudden rift... that had glaringly widened between us...

Where had all that shared... comfortable camaraderie... ever since that memorable first day... of my first bleeding... only just a few days ago... gone...? It seemed to have suddenly evaporated...!

And I was extremely aware... of Prima's "don't come near me"... attitude... expressed by the stiff way... in which she held her head... her back turned deliberately away from me... her heart... no doubt breaking... in silence... over the loss of her beloved “Philip...”

And longing for some fresh air... I vowed to myself... to spend as little time as possible... in our dismal... depressing... border-line claustrophobic quarters... and I pacified myself... with the reassuring thought... that our sea voyage... this time around... was to be a short crossing... of the Atlantic Ocean... and that we would have to endure the place... for only nine days or so...

I left the cabin... with some murmured excuse... my shoulders hunched... unable to look my sister... in the eye... and as I trudged up the long... narrow gangway... holding tightly onto the railing... trying to lift the black cloud... that had settled... over my head... my stomach let out a growl... and suddenly feeling ravenous... I hoped that at least the food... would compensate... for the dreariness of the ship... seeing that it was a Portuguese liner...

And my spirits perking up... once again... as I contemplated the stories... I had heard... about their cuisine being similar... to that of the Spanish and Italian... I was now anxious... for it to be lunch time... eagerly looking forward... to sampling intriguing... delectable dishes... cooked to perfection... with lots of garlic... and olive oil... seasoned with exotic Mediterranean spices... just as advertised... in their brochure...

(I already knew... thank God... that there was no such thing... as a Childrens Dining Room... on this ship... so that this time around... I would not be forced... to endure eating “mush”... with a roomful of screaming... bawling... messy babies... as on the "Tjisadane..." ... with all those transported army wives...)

When I reached topside... I did not need to but barely glance through the porthole... to see that a nasty wind... was whipping the seas up into rough... white-tipped... choppy little waves... seeming to lean in all directions... dancing abruptly up and down... and recalling my harrowing experience... on my very first day... on board the "Tjisadane..."... when I almost was swept overboard... on the slippery deck... it was most certainly not a good time... to venture outsideher..

Then... all of a sudden... I got a flash of my miserable... heartbroken sister... cooped up... all alone... in that stifling hot cabin... and my heart surging... with a huge wave of sympathy... I raced back to her...

And flinging the door wide open... took the one giant step of three... permitted in that narrow space... and gave my startled sister... who had her back to me... slowly putting away her clothes... in the metal closet... a great big hug... with all the love... I had in my heart... for her... my throat so choked up... that I could not utter a single word... squeezing my arms around her tightly... from behind...

Deeply moved... she turned around... and her eyes filling with tears... she flung herself into my arms... sobbing her heart out...

And I gently set her down... on the bunk... and sitting down next to her... held her close to my breast... our roles suddenly reversed... for it was as if I had become her mother... and she my precious child... as for the first time... in my life... I heard my sister cry... as she poured out her grief... silently... in my loving... cradling arms...

Chapter 3

The Surprisingly Quite Famous History... Of The S.S. "Serpa Pinto"...!

Over the next few days... I found out quite a lot... about this comparatively small ship... of the proud Portuguese fleet...

She was constructed in 1915... by the British Royal Mail Steam Packet Company... weighing 8,267 tons... with accommodations for 704 passengers... and originally Christened "Ebro"...

Then in 1935... she was renamed... "Princess Olga Of Jugoslavenska"... And five years later... in 1940... during the war... she had her name changed yet again... to her final one... of "Serpa Pinto"...!

This was in commemoration... of one of Portugal's great explorers... and soldiers... Major Alexandre Alberto Da Rocha De Serpa Pinto... born an adventurous Aries... on April 20th... 1846... (also my birth date!) ... and who... in 1881... explored the continent of Africa... resulting in colonizing Angola... and Mozambique... on the East Coast... before he died as a lauded... respected Portuguese hero... in 1900...

(Recently... through the wonderful medium of Google-Search... on the Internet... I also learned that the "Serpa Pinto"... became a refugee ship... during the war... bringing many Jewish children... escaping from Europe... safely... to the shores of the United States of America...!

And that she was in service from 1940... until 1955... when she became a cargo vessel... still sailing the oceans today...!)

Chapter 4

My Gypsy Wild Sister Prima’s Incredible... Utter Transformation... Caused By Her New Beloved... Strong And Silent Type... Alan...!

Nearing the end of winter... the Atlantic Ocean was very rough... and angry-looking... the winds biting cold... numbing the body... within seconds...

And I learned very quickly... that the only way... to combat the raging elements... was to always walk very briskly... whenever out on deck... like the resumed... early morning... daily ritual... alone with Papa... a bracing practice... that I kept up... for the rest of the comparatively short voyage - one very definitely different... from the earlier long one... sailing leisurely across the balmy oceans... of the Pacific... the sun always brightly shining down... on the crystal clear waters...

As the dreary days dragged by... the sky was always depressingly grey and overcast... casting a constant gloomy Shadow...... over the spirits... of the passengers and crew - the gay... jovial... light atmosphere... of the "Klipfontein"... sadly missing - as we inched... inexorably... ever closer to the continent of war-ravaged Europe...

The only bright spark... was the excellent Portuguese cuisine - every dish a masterpiece... of delectable delight... never failing to satisfy... even the most discerning of gourmands' palates... known to be very particular about their food... the only bright face... being the chef's... whose ruddy round face... was forever beaming... wreathed in smiles... from the many compliments... showered down upon his proud head....

There were some whispered rumors... aboard ship... that being such a small vessel... and despite being neutral... she had been forced to stop... by German U-boats... swarming the seas... between the continents of Europe and America... who had boarded her... several times...looking for Jews... and Americans...!

And some of the passengers... became quite nervous... understanding why the bearded Captain... never mixed with his passengers... never dined at any of their tables... but kept well to himself...!

And everywhere... there were signs of restriction... in several languages... so that I could never get to explore the ship... never be able to visit my favorite area... way up high... where the ship's one funnel was...

The only scene... that lifted my spirits... during that dreary sea voyage... was the charming tableau... that Prima and her new boyfriend - the man I had accidentally careened into - made... as they sat quietly... at a corner table... nestled close together... holding hands...

Watching them from afar... I could observe... for the first time in my life... how my sister... gazed up at a man... with sheer adoration... in her eyes... her face utterly radiant... as she sat quietly... next to him... perfectly content... and at peace...!

As I watched... mesmerized with delight... I could see the wonderful effect... her new... attentive escort... was having on her... and marvelled... at how her fiery... flirtatious... tempestuous nature... was being supplanted... by this gentle... feminine being who... seemingly overnight... was miraculously blossoming... into a tender... warm and loving woman...!

In all my born days... I had never seen Prima... concentrating her entire self... on a single boy... or man... completely serious... and loyal to him - her usually restless eyes... never even roving once... around the Dining Room... or out on deck... whenever I saw them together...!

Furthermore... she became extremely warm... and loving... towards me... exuding a quiet... peaceful serenity... a quality that I had never hitherto felt... or seen in her before...!

And on the third day... of the voyage... briefly separated from him... because he happened to be getting a haircut... she confided in me... how much she loved... this wonderful man... whose name was Alan... and who was a Canadian Air Force Officer... en route to England... via Lisbon... where he would be joining the RAF...

If I had expected to share a nice... long... cozy afternoon with her... I would have been sadly disappointed... for after about ten minutes together... as we sat in our tiny cabin... feeling closer... than we had ever been before... she suddenly became agitated... and anxious... every bit of her... longing to be with her beloved again...

It was almost as if somewhere... in her subconscious... she knew that she had very little time with him... and each precious moment... spent with her beloved... was more precious to her... than life itself...!

And I could sense in her... an instinctive feeling... of agitated apprehension... that she should not waste one single moment... of being unnecessarily separated from him... most unlike her usual confident... devil-may-care... light-hearted... happy-go-lucky attitude... towards the men in her life...

Her impatience mounted... and she began fidgeting... unable to sit still... so that I good-naturedly urged her... with an understanding smile... to go to him...

She still had not confided to me... the details... of exactly how they had met each other... and I reassured her... that we would have plenty of time... to be together... at bedtime... when she would have ample opportunity... to expound on Alan's many manly virtues... sitting huddled together... confiding delicious secrets... sister to loving sister...

Very late that night... in our cabin... with me stuffed to the gills... with delectable Portuguese culinary specialities... I sat back... cross-legged... on Prima’s lower bunk... leaning against the wall... next to her... and listened... with fascination... as she... in a voice of awe... shared with me... her impressions of this magnificent man... of inner depth... and mature... quiet strength...

He neither smoked... nor drank alcohol... nor did he indulge... in any of the current dance steps - very unlike the fun-loving boys and men... she had been attracted to... in the past... always mastering the latest dance craze... for fear of losing their popularity... with the fun-loving girls...

She confided her surprise... at feeling utterly safe... and secure... in his presence... and how much the aura... of his quiet inner strength... made her respect him...

She was also quite amazed... at her own utter contentment... quite happy... to be just sitting quietly close to him... holding hands... for hours on end... neither of them needing... to try to impress... each other... whatsoever... with their wit... or with intelligent... stimulating conversation... never feeling bored... or restless... in each other's company...

He reminded her... more and more... of larger-than-life... Gary Cooper... most definitely the strong... silent type... not only in his looks... but in his whole demeanor...

I was delighted... to see my beloved sister... so quietly happy... basking in the enveloping warmth... of her Alan's love... and I sent up a silent prayer of thanks... to my Heavenly Father... for Having Blessed my sister... with such happiness... and went to sleep... very content... that I had been obliquely instrumental... in bringing them together...

Thereafter... whenever I happened to come upon them... cocooned in their cozy little world... I would be struck... all over again... by how perfectly... they suited each other... delighted to see my sister so calm... and peaceful... so fulfilled... so utterly transformed...

The very next night... I woke up suddenly... out of a deep sleep... my heart pounding... And puzzled... for I rarely woke up... in the middle of the night... I leaned over my bunk... to see whether Prima was all right...

And with a stab in my chest... noticed that her bunk had not been slept in... at all...! And I immediately "knew"... within my deepest self... that something momentous... was happening to her... at that very moment...!

I had woken up... from brief naps before... and seen her bunk empty... both aboard the "Tjisadane"... and the "Klipfontein"... as well as on this ship... and had thought nothing of it... simply knowing... that Prima was off dancing... and having a good time... flirting with her many admirers on board...

But... somehow... this particular night was different... and I suddenly "knew" that... at that very moment... they were becoming one in body... as well as in spirit... and my romantic fantasies ran riot... as I tried to picture them... tightly locked in each other's arms...

With a sudden pang of yearning... I found myself longing... to be a grown-up... then and there... also being loved... by a very special man... as my dear sister... was obviously being loved... at that very moment...

I began to cry... with a mixture of joy for her... and envy... for myself... at the same time... "knowing"... in the deepest part of me... that in some inexplicable way... I had lost the very special relationship... I had shared with my big sister... for the past ten years... and I missed her terribly...

She had been like a tender... mothering sister to me... ever since I could remember... and now I felt that she would no longer belong to me... exclusively... in that special loving way... since I was utterly convinced... that Alan would not be a passing fancy... but the real thing... “Mr. Right...”

And as I sat up... in my top bunk... crying bitter tears of self-pity... the fear suddenly shot through me... that I would be forgotten... left behind... and I wept... as if my heart was breaking... at the idea... that her love for me... would be lessened... by the quality... of her great... deep love for Alan...

This was the reaction... of my selfish side... but at the same time... there was a bubbling fountain of joy... within the unselfish side of me... that rejoiced at her Blessed... God-given bliss... which made me feel very adult... and grown up...

For the rest of that night... I lay awake... switching from envy... to joy... joy to envy... and by the time... I sensed that the grey light of dawn... must be filtering dimly... through the portholes.. of other passengers' cabins aboard ship... I was thoroughly drained... and exhausted... and finally fell asleep... missing my all important breakfast...!

When Xenia knocked... on the cabin door... to ask why I had not made an appearance... in the Dining Room... enquiring whether I was seasick... I was loath to let her in... and have her see my emotional state of turmoil... which I had no intention of sharing... nor explaining to her...

I knew the futility... of sharing my night of torment... with Xenia... who... in her confusion... and narrow-mindedness... would... no doubt... instantly convert me... into feeling like a little girl... unable to cope... with my new-found adult awareness... which was extremely fragile... to say the least...

Intent on putting her at ease... with my fingers crossed... I simply told her... through the door... that the ship's engines... had kept me awake... so that I had overslept...

And although my voice sounded somewhat nonchalant... my heart was beating very fast... and I started to tremble... fearing God's Displeasure... at my having told another lie...

As soon as Xenia left... satisfied with my explanation... I went down on my knees... and fervently prayed for Forgiveness... Justifying my reason... for lying to Xenia... I explained to my Heavenly Father... how easily excitable she was... and how repugnant it was for me... to rock her uniquely Russian... cock-eyed... emotional... wooden boat...

I also thanked Him... for Preventing Xenia... from complaining to Papa... about Prima’s vicious onslaught... on her face... on that terrible morning of terror...

And also for His Seeing to it... that Papa had to work so hard... during our last week... in New York... finalizing his business affairs... that his family scarcely saw him...

After a goodly while... feeling Divinely Forgiven... yet again... my spirit calm and at peace... once more... I hurriedly bathed and dressed... and went in search of Prima...

But to my utter consternation... she was nowhere to be found... And the more I searched for her... in vain... unable to find her anywhere... on board ship... the more my sense of irretrievable loss... enveloped me... until I thought I could not bear the overwhelming sadness... engulfing my senses...

It was eleven o'clock by now... and as a last ditch effort of desperation... I was hopeful... that I would find her in the Reading Room... waiting to go into the Dining Room for lunch...

As head of the family... I was all too aware... of Papa's insistence... that his family always dine together... sitting at the same table... a rule he strictly enforced... accepting no excuses... from anyone... for being late...

His punishment for tardiness... was instant dismissal... and confinement... to our cabins... which disciplinary measures... he had enforced... ever since we stopped being live-in boarders... at the ISY... and lived under the same roof... with him and Xenia... about a little over a year and a half ago...

There was to be no diversion... from his observance... of strict discipline... not even during our sea voyage... and nobody was exempt...

And it quickly became clear to everybody... now that we were back on board a ship again... that his somewhat easygoing manner... displayed... during our magical time in New York... when he had relaxed his disciplinary tactics... to a great extent... was short-lived...

For here he was... being obnoxiously authoritarian... once more... making certain... not to relinquish his parental control over us... his children...

The few times I was late... and summarily dismissed... knowing it was useless to explain why... I would secretly hug to myself the fact... that I had made it my business... to befriend all the chefs... and waiters... in the ship's Galley... knowing they would never let me go hungry...

On this occasion... Papa referred only once... to Prima's noticeable absence... from the table... brusquely enquiring... whether any of us knew of her present whereabouts...

And upon sternly asking us... one by one... and upon ascertaining... that not one of us... had seen her anywhere... that morning... he dismissed the subject... with a wave of his hand... expecting all of us to resume eating... in silence...

I was secretly so excited... about the prospect... of Prima and Alan... being together... since... upon quickly looking around... I had noticed that the seat at his table... nearby... was also empty...

So that I could hardly eat the food in front of me... as starved as I was... having missed breakfast... because when I went to the Galley... for some delectable morsels of food... the ship's elusive... swarthy-looking Captain... happened to be there... forcing me to make a hasty retreat...

For some reason... I happened to glance over at "Whipped Cream's" table... my nickname for the good Reverend Whipple... a passenger... who was also a Canadian... like Alan... hoping to read something... in his beaming face... as he sat complacently eating his lunch... And when he noticed me looking at him questioningly... he surprised... and startled me... by giving me a very broad wink...!

Immediately... I knew that his jaunty behavior... had something to do with Prima and Alan...! And I became impatient to get lunch over with... and asked to be excused from the table... dying for an opportunity... to talk privately to "Whipped Cream"...

But Papa glared at me... reminding me... that I knew perfectly well... that nobody was allowed to leave the table... until everybody had finished eating...

So that... when the long... leisurely lunch... was finally over with... Papa and Xenia... as usual... voicing their satisfaction... with the delicious food... and excellent service... as they stood up... and stretched their legs... I noticed... with a sinking heart... that "Whipped Cream" had gone...!

For the rest of that antsy day... I wavered between rampant inquisitiveness... and anxiety... over my sister... and her new... “One and Only...”... hoping against hope... to see her at dinner time... at least... But again... neither she nor Alan... made an appearance... in the Dining Room...!

And when I went to our cabin... after dinner... to brush my teeth... I noticed... that some of Prima's clothes were gone... as well as her little vanity case...! And I realized... with a little pang... that I would not be seeing her that night... either...

And feeling suddenly disconsolate... and sorry for myself... I wondered whether I was to endure... yet another long and lonely sleepless night... all on my own...

But the previous agonizing night... and day's emotions... had taken their toll... exhausting me... and I fell asleep... as soon as my head touched the pillow... sleeping soundly... throughout the night...

I awoke the following morning... feeling very refreshed... after an undisturbed... good night's rest... and loath to experience... yet another day of gloom and doom... resolutely decided... that I was simply no longer going to drive myself crazy... speculating about Prima and Alan...

Instead of driving myself... around the bend... wondering about them... I would spend the rest of the day... entertaining myself... either by reading magazines... or playing Solitaire... in the Reading Room...

And I was very pleased... that I would be able to while away the impending hours... occupying myself happily indoors... for the outside... still looked so bleak and uninviting... the ominous dark skies... seeming to threaten a storm...

But in the back of my mind... I was trying very hard... not to think about the sobering fact... that every second... every minute... every hour... was bringing us inexorably... ever closer and closer... to war-torn Europe...

And as I played Solitaire... I could not help... but wonder... what kind of fate awaited us... when we set our feet down... on European soil... so much of which... I had read... in the New York newspapers... was soaked with the blood... of fallen... slain soldiers... in battle...

And I found myself wondering... how I would react... when I saw all that devastation... of blood... and rubble... from bombed buildings... with my very own eyes... and how I would carry the searing memory... of all those terrible sights... witnessing the senseless ravages of war... first hand... for the rest of my life...

Chapter 5

A Nameless Dread... Creeps Ever Closer... And Closer...!

The constant grey... overcast skies... day after day... were becoming extremely depressing... to say the least... and to add to the general feeling of gloom... and doom... that seemed to pervade... every nook and cranny... of the ship... the hours seemed to be dragging by... ever so slowly...

Whenever I happened to glance up... at the large clock... in the Reading Room... it was as if its second hand... appeared to be inching round its dial face... ticking haltingly... as if trying to hold back time... in a pitiful attempt to deter... even if for only a fraction... of a second... the senseless hours of bloodshed... that was going on... all over the world...

The deplorable... inhuman acts... that mankind was presently indulging in... against itself... brother against brother... in a time... that was now shamefully being used... everywhere... for indiscriminate intrusion... into innocent peoples' private lives...

Their heartless... relentless conquerors... perpetrating unspeakable acts of atrocities... of torture... and butchery... upon them - four particularly heinous segments of mankind... one German... or Arian... if you will... and the other British... and now most recently... the Japanese... and Americans... in relatively small parts... of the great planet earth...

All their hearts being filled... with mindless hatred... they were fighting against... and slaying their fellow man... a virtual stranger...! ... over most of the globe... the instigators of war... having gone quite mad... with avaricious greed... and lust for power... with total disregard... for the inalienable right... of each individual... to enjoy his precious freedom of life... and the pursuit of his happiness... as the American Constitution stated... so beautifully...

The closer we got... to the bloody earth... of war-torn Europe... the more I felt... as a fellow human being of earth... somehow partially to blame... for the rampant insanity... that was going on there...!

And my frequent discourses... with my Heavenly Father... were gradually becoming tinged... more and more... with deep feelings... of painful shame and guilt... even though I knew perfectly well... that the voice... of a mere almost twelve year old girl... would not be able to really influence the greedy wrongdoers... in power... do anything of magnitude... to alter the course of history... in the making... that of World War Two... nor to stem... its bloody tide of time...

However... I could do something... on a small scale... and made a fervent vow... to Him... that I would make it my duty... to spout anti-war slogans... at every opportunity... bringing the message home... to all and sundry - zealously shouting from the roof tops... if necessary - the everlasting truth... of the senselessness... and futility... of man pitting himself... in hate... against his fellow man... which in due time... always inevitably escalated... into more and more nations... warring against... more and more other nations...!

As far as recreation was concerned... there was really very little to do on board ship... and not much variety either... Since the nasty weather outdoors... discouraged spending too much time... out on deck... the passengers' combination Lounge/Reading Room... was by far... the most comfortable place to be in... with its cozy... over-sized... deep... soft... chintzy chairs... the walls lined with shelves of books... in many languages...

Underneath the book shelves were large... deep... roomy drawers... containing decks of playing cards... and parlor games... such as "Monopoly"... "Checkers"... and "Snakes & Ladders"... and the low coffee tables... were strewn with colorful magazines...

I already knew... that the Portuguese people... had been known to have spawned great explorers... like Vasco Da Gama... and Bilbao... and intellectuals and linguists... in their time...

Sitting there... in the company... of the great authors... the far-seeing thinkers... of the world... reading their words of wisdom... one could temporarily lose oneself... put behind one... the ever-threatening reality... that their vessel... was pushing them inexorably forward... towards the vast... blood-soaked arena of war... that was Europe...

Chapter 6

My Unexpected... Momentous... Brief Encounter... With “Whipped Cream...”... Reverend Whipple...!

That night... after dinner was over... I noticed a general exodus of passengers... heading towards the deck... so I followed them...

And when I stepped outside... into the fresh air... I was quite surprised to feel no chilly... gusting wind... attacking my face... whipping my infernal pigtails about... On the contrary... to my delight... the air was actually quite balmy...!

And the sky above... was clear and unclouded... for a change... with even a faint sprinkling of stars... twinkling away... way up above our heads... like a benevolent curtain...!

The sudden warmish air... and starry night... were such a pleasant surprise... that it wasn't long... before more and more passengers... began strolling leisurely... about the deck... becoming more and more relaxed... and at ease - there were even occasional outbursts of laughter... the pleasant sound of which... I had not heard... in quite a number of days...

Unlike on board the magnificent "Klipfontein"... the general atmosphere... in the Dining Room... aboard the "Serpa Pinto"... was not light and gay... but quite the opposite... heavy and grave... people usually sitting at their tables... in tense postures... with very little exchanges of conversation... between them... always fearful... that another German U-boat might come along... to intercept them... at any moment...

Furthermore... there was no debonair Bill Miller... nor his wife Hildegard... with her Nordic-blonde... exquisite beauty... on board... to entertain us... make us forget... there was a war on...

In fact... there were constant grim reminders... of things not being quite normal... all over the ship...! For instance... in my earlier efforts to explore it... it seemed that at every turn... my progress would be hindered... by some barricade or other... warning... "Passengers Not To Venture Beyond This Point"... posted in the languages of Portuguese... Spanish... English... French... Italian... and even in German...!

The captain and his crew... no doubt... were taking serious precautions... to keep their charges... within a tightly controlled area... in case there might be any inquisitive spies on board...!

And becoming quite disgusted... at their blatant display of suspicious distrust... of all and sundry... I had quickly given up on the idea... of trying to explore the ship... any further...

As I mused... at how more normal... the passengers seemed to be behaving here... out on deck... under a starry sky... and feeling in myself... a sense of glorious release... able to breathe far more freely... than heretofore... as if my chest had been imprisoned... in a cell of fearful uncertainty... in idly glancing around... I spotted... to my delighted surprise... none other... than Reverend "Whipped Cream"...!

He was standing at the railing... smoking a cigarette... and gazing out to sea... exuding an air of calm serenity... At the sight of him... I somehow instantly connected him... with Prima and Alan... and with a million questions... flashing through my mind... I impulsively pounced on him... without thinking...

And without extending... any polite pleasantries... began barraging the good man of God... with question after question... about my sister... and her new beau... Alan...!

And as I flung my questions... breathlessly at him... as he stood there on spindly legs... supporting a thin frame... it was as if the jumble of urgent words... issuing out of my mouth... were startling him... each aggressive question... making his body jerk backwards... farther and farther... as if it was being attacked... by lethal darts...! And in my feverish agitation... I never once drew breath... to give him an opportunity to respond...

When I finally ran out of steam... standing at his side... with trembling legs... the audacity of my rude impulsiveness... suddenly hit me... and my face grew beet red... with embarrassment...

And becoming terribly ashamed of myself... I longed to be anywhere else but there... feeling an overwhelming yearning... for the sea to swallow me up... What on earth could have possessed me... to have displayed such bad manners... and to a man of the cloth... no less...?

But instead of feeling affronted... and becoming angry with me... the good Reverend Whipple... rapidly regained his composure... and giving me another broad wink... with a twinkle... in his periwinkle blue eyes... and a gentle smile on his lips... gave my shoulders a fatherly pat... with his thin... tapering... sensitive fingers... cooing reassuringly...:

"There there... my child... Almighty God Has Indeed Smiled Down... upon the happy couple... your beloved sister... and her intended... yes... indeed...!"

And as I raised my eyebrows questioningly... he continued... lifting up both his arms... defensively...

"However... I am sworn to silence...! But your own intelligence... should answer all of your questions... about their present circumstances...!

Cheery-bye... and God Bless...!"

And before I could ask him... what he had meant... by his ambiguous words... with a wave of his hand... he had vanished into the darkness... leaving me standing there... with my mouth gaping open... gripping the ship’s railing for support... my heart beating faster and faster... the more I went over what veiled message... they had conveyed...

And I was suddenly feeling weak and nauseous... in my stomach... my knees beginning to tremble... my befuddled senses... reeling in a daze... as his words... kept churning around wildly... in my head...

Later on... as I lay in my narrow bunk... under the reassuring quiet cloak of darkness... I finally voiced my mounting suspicions... of the past two days out loud... whispering the words softly... into the night...

And suddenly sitting bolt upright... I exclaimed out loud... with an undeniable "knowing"... deep inside my being...:

"THEY ARE MARRIED...!"

“Whipped Cream”... pardon me... I mean Reverend Whipple... who happens to be from Canada... like Alan... must have performed the Holy ceremony...!

And because we are out at sea... in the middle of the ocean... Prima didn't need to get Papa's permission first... nor Alan... Papa's consent... in asking for the hand of his daughter... in marriage... to “legally seal the ties that bind...!”... "By God... and that no man... can put asunder...!"

There... I had said it... now it was out in the open... I had finally voiced my suspicions out loud... There was no revoking them - I had spoken the truth... and nothing but the truth...

“Oh my giddy aunt... Prima and Alan... are actually married... legally wedded to each other... hitched... they've really and truly... tied the matrimonial knot...!!!”

My words were breathed out... in a hushed... awed whisper... hardly able to believe... in hearing the words... issuing out of my own mouth... what my own voice... was so convincingly proclaiming... and with such certainty...!

And for the next several hours... I let my imagination and romantic nature... run riot... picturing the lovers... locked tightly in each other's arms... and how they... in between passionate kisses... were at that very sweet moment... tenderly declaring... their everlasting love... for each other...

I finally fell asleep... in a state of sheer emotional exhaustion... and woke up... on the next soul-searing morning... in a daze... feeling numb all over...

And I automatically went through the customary motions... of getting myself bathed and dressed... in the communal bathroom... down the short passageway... feeling like a zombie... but ever so slowly... as if in slow motion... deliberately avoiding glancing at Prima's glaringly conspicuous... still unslept in bunk...

And upon arriving... on time... in the Dining Room... on wobbly legs... I nervously consumed... an enormous breakfast... staring down at the tablecloth... as if it was the most fascinating object... in the world... keeping my gaze downcast... for fear that Papa would find out... about Prima's secret marriage... simply by reading the give-away expression... in my eyes...!

Even though... I was usually ravenous... in the early hours... of the morning... and this morning... was no exception... at this mind-boggling breakfast session... every item of food on my plate... which should have tasted delicious... tasted just like cardboard to me...!

And I did not even react... in the least... when Remo did his usual number... of sticking his fork... into the yolk... of my fried egg... gobbling it up... as I carefully ate the white part... around it first... leaving the best part... of the delicious orange/yellow yolk... for last...

Sitting there... quaking in my shoes... I thanked my lucky stars... that Papa did not ask me... in a sharp... accusing tone of voice... whether I had seen my sister... Prima...

Now that already five days had passed... since she had last sat... at the family dining table... Papa had seemed to forget... all about her very existence...!

Perhaps... since I was... once again... being forced by Papa... to wear my crowning glory... in loathed pigtails... with him reminding me... that I was still a school girl... I had... once again... become insignificant... in his eyes... since it was obvious to me... that I was barely being noticed...!

“The familiar saying...: “Out of sight... out of mind...”... certainly seems to apply... where Prima is concerned...!”... I thought to myself...

Chapter 7

The Final Anxious Days... Aboard The “Serpa Pinto”... Before Silently Docking... In Pitch Darkness... At Lisbon Harbor...!

Afterwards... for the next three days... into the month of March... because we were once again nearing land... all the passengers were ordered to assemble together... on the top deck side... for the compulsory life-boat drills... and I caught a very brief glimpse... of the “newlyweds”... way down the line... from where I was standing... wedged in between Papa and Xenia...

Even from this distance... I could see... that they had their arms around each other's waists... with Prima's head... barely reaching up to no higher... than his chest... resting trustingly... against her beloved's arm... and every now and then... she would gaze up into his face... adoringly... as he tenderly looked down... at her radiant face...

I never found out... whether there was a confrontation... ending in an angry altercation... between Papa... and his eldest daughter... Prima... but on the morning... of the ninth day... we were to sail into port... Prima finally surfaced... in our cabin... where I found her busily sorting through... our belongings and clothes... preparatory to packing them away... into our suitcases...

I was dying of curiosity... longing to ask her dozens of questions... questions that had been gnawing away at me... every night I saw her bunk empty... and still unslept in... the following morning...

The words were lodged... just at the back of my throat... longing to spill out... but upon seeing her so suddenly... after five long days and nights... of her absence... I could do nothing... but keep silent... my emotions all choked up... and I was hardly able... to look her in the eye... even more so... when I saw how radiantly... her face glowed...

Even though... I was bursting to know... what she had been doing... and where she had been... in all the time I hadn't seen her... I had suddenly become struck dumb with shyness... and much too tongue-tied... to ask her...

I had only caught occasional glimpses of her... with her new boyfriend... seeing them together... for the first time... one night... a few days into our voyage... when Papa allowed me... to stay up late... so that I could go to the Ballroom... to watch the dancers... and listen to the music... after dinner...

On that particular night... I had seen them from a distance... walking arm in arm... and although I wanted to approach them... something inside... instinctively told me... not to... and to leave them alone... in the cocoon... of their private little world of love...

And on the second... of the only two memorable... and rare occasions... that I had seen them together... was out on deck... on the only one bright sunny... warmish afternoon... of the voyage... with my beloved sister... sitting next to the very man... the handsome Gary Cooper look-alike... that I had bumped into...

Their chairs were touching... and it was as if they were tightly wrapped around each other... in a deceptively delicate-looking... but strong... protective chrysalis... rapt in a very special world... of their very own...

And from time to time... they would gaze into each other's eyes... uniting their souls... with long... lingering looks... that spoke volumes... with an invisible wall around them... that clearly said...: “Do not disturb...!”

And on that second occasion... as I gazed at them... from across the sunny deck... and saw how wonderfully... they suited each other... so perfectly matched... I became thoroughly mesmerized...!

And unable to help myself... found myself drawn... like a magnet... to their special oneness... boldly intruding... upon their blissful state... as they sat very close to each other... with the intention... of saying something gay and flippant... about how I had brought them together...

And they had been quite startled... to suddenly see me standing there... in front of them... And as they looked up at me... and I saw the strange... haunted look... in their poignantly beseeching eyes... I felt a shocking stab... in my heart - it seemed as if I was forcing them... to come down... most reluctantly... from their ivory tower of love...

And a surge of shame... suffused my being... to have so insensitively forced myself upon them... intruding... for even one single second... into their few precious moments... together...

Too shy to beg their forgiveness... the tears of compassionate understanding... springing to my eyes... I murmured something... and hastily retreated... walking backwards... away from them... as quickly as I could... hardly able to see... through the blur... filming my eyes...

And thoroughly annoyed... with my own callous insensitivity... I fiercely gave myself a verbal... reprimanding... admonishing... angry tongue-lashing...

And thereafter... I prudently made it a point... to leave the lovers... strictly alone... not only for the rest of that day... and evening... but for the rest of the short nine day voyage... as well...

But on those two nights... if I remembered correctly... after the precious time... spent with her new beloved... Alan... Prima had come back to our cabin to sleep...

Three days before docking... we had been told... just as on the “Klipfontein”... that for the rest of the voyage... we would be expected to sleep... in our clothes... and that there were to be black-outs... and as far as being out on deck... at night... was concerned... curfew time would be at ten o'clock sharp...!

I began to notice... how the lethargy of the passengers... prevailing during the past five days... was beginning to shift imperceptibly... and how there was now... an undercurrent... of thinly disguised... eager anticipation... albeit tinged with anxiety... and worry... sweeping throughout the ship... as we sailed... ever nearer... to the Continent of Europe...

...The heart-rending sketchy news of which... the radio kept telling us... was so ravaged and devastated... many countries in terrible states of upheaval... as Germany's megalomaniacal fiend... Adolf Hitler... ruthlessly marched his armies... across the face... of the Old World... greedily gobbling up... nation after nation... in his mad quest... for world dominance...!

Auckland... Australia... had been the last port... into which we had sailed... during the daylight hours... and I still cherished the fond memory... of standing on the bridge... with my dear fatherly friend... Captain Willem Post... watching the long... incredibly beautiful... breathtaking coastline... of New Zealand... with him... praying together... as we sailed along its spectacular length...

And I hoped against hope... that I would see the beautiful coastline of Portugal... romantically called “Costa Del Sol”... (Coast Of The Sun) ... in the daytime... as we sailed into Lisbon Harbor...

I naturally knew... of course... that there would be no chance of seeing the magnificent... famous Coast... from the Captain’s bridge... and let out a sigh of regret... that the Commander of the "Serpa Pinto"... had been so unapproachable...

What an utterly different man... the Captain of this ship was... compared to Captain Post... of the “Klipfontein”... hardly ever mingling with the passengers... always walking around with a grim... forbidding expression... on his swarthy... bearded face... his bushy black eyebrows... perpetually knitted in a frown... suspicious of every friendly gesture... extended towards him... his whole stocky demeanor saying...: “Keep away from me...!” ... making him very difficult to approach... to say the least... never mind befriend... for that matter...

The crew... likewise... no doubt following the Captain’s orders... had kept a healthy distance... from the passengers... as well... discouraging any friendly overtures... so unlike the charming... relaxed crew... of the “Klipfontein”... always light and gay... who had never tired... of mixing with the anxious passengers... being as accommodating... and as reassuring... as possible... to their melange of nationals...

But... alas... my fervent wish... was not to be granted... for the Captain thought it wiser... to reach the harbor... under the protective cover of darkness... in view of the possible presence... of enemy submarines... in the waters... which might mistake the neutrality... of our ship... and aim their deadly torpedoes at us... as they had... at the ill-fated... doomed “Tjingara...” ... the hapless sister ship... of the “Tjisadane...”... which we almost sailed on... from Shanghai...

So it came to pass... that we inched our way gingerly... into the mouth... of Lisbon Harbor... under the blanket... of pitch black night... for the whole port... was blacked out... except for a few wavering dots... of shimmering light... discernible... here and there... lit out of absolute necessity... docking stealthily... and silently... the sailors greasing the anchor chain... so that it slid into the water... noiselessly...

All the passengers... were ordered to disembark... very quietly... in single file... without making any fuss... having been warned... to make as little noise... as possible...

And it was just as eerie... as when docking... in Los Angeles... walking down... the narrow gangway... into the same kind of pitch black darkness... the whole harbor... just as blacked out...!

But this time... thank God... there was no bullying onrush... of clamoring... intrusive reporters... anxious to interview the passengers... of the “Serpa Pinto”...

Chapter 8

Yours Truly... Becomes An Inadvertent... "Diamond" Smuggler..?!

And as we all headed... towards the dimly lit customs shed... uncomfortably aware... that we were far too close... to enemy-infested waters... as if from out of nowhere... it seemed... a very well dressed... handsome... dark-complected man... suddenly loomed... right in front of me... seeming to have appeared... out of nowhere...!

And... to my utter amazement... without saying a single word... he quickly thrust a beautiful doll... into my arms...!

And before I could catch my breath... recovering from my astonishment... wanting to thank him... for his most unexpected... generous gift... he had vanished... into the crowd...!

I was in a terrible quandary... Should I draw Papa's and Xenia's attention - they were standing in line... right in front of me - to the fact... that a perfect stranger... of the male species... had just given me this exquisite... beautifully dressed doll... which I was falling more and more in love with... by the minute... only to have it rudely pulled out of my arms by them... with an admonishing... stern lecture... about accepting gifts... from perfect strangers...?

Or should I simply say nothing... and look surprised... if any one of them asked... how come I was cradling a doll... in my arms - a doll they had never seen before...?!

By this time... we were going... through the customs area... brusquely being instructed... to open our suitcases... for inspection...

And in the noisy hustle and bustle... of officialdom... exercising its power... over a huddle of anxious passengers... I stood quietly obedient... at Prima's side... as she obligingly followed... her officer's instruction... to open up our suitcases... disgusted to see... the way in which he drooled over her... lasciviously... his beady black eyes... greedily raking over her buxom breasts... of which she was totally oblivious... lost as she was... in her very own dream world... with her beloved Alan...

And he barely gave the gawky... tall... gangly girl... a dismissing... cursory glance... as she stood beside... the voluptuous young woman... with the huge new doll... in her arms... with her hair in pigtails... Papa having sternly reminded her... at breakfast that morning... how important it was... that she look... exactly like her passport picture...!

Finally... the Rau entourage... were duly passed through customs... without any incident... or hitches... and now tired... from the nerve-wracking ordeal... of having been subjected... to the capricious whims... of the stern... unsmiling customs officials... we were anxious... to get to our hotel... as quickly as possible...

And were delighted to see... once more... a friendly Cooks Tour representative... who was exuding an air of confidence... walking briskly towards us... smiling... his hand outstretched to Papa Rau... our patriarch... in a hearty welcome...

The good man... had a taxi waiting... having made advance reservations for us... at the best hotel in Lisbon... And as he proceeded to bustle us... into the roomy car... I got another shock...!

For just as I was about to get into the taxi... behind Prima... from out of nowhere... it seemed... the same handsome stranger... who had startled me... at the entrance... to the customs area... suddenly materialized again...!

And without a single word... he reached out... and roughly snatched the doll... he had thrust at me... only but a short time ago... right out of my loving arms...!

And before I could recover... from my utter astonishment... protesting... he had silently vanished... into the inky black night...!

And I could not say a single thing... about the extraordinary event... because throughout the remarkable incident... nobody in my family... had noticed me... with a brand new... large doll... cradled in my arms... not even Prima... whose thoughts were... no doubt... far away... with her beloved new husband...!

And then... still reeling in shock... just as I was the last... to get into the taxi... Alan was there... standing right beside me...!

And smiling warmly down at me... from his great height... he gave my shoulder... an affectionate squeeze... preventing me... from getting into the taxi... And silently thrusting a folded over piece of paper... into my hand... obviously meant... for his beloved bride... he quickly walked away...!

END OF NEW PART XI - EIGHT CHAPTERS

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