It is a depressing Saturday afternoon... hot and muggy... so to relieve the boredom... slightly in the doldrums... because of a silly quarrel... with my boyfriend... Ruben... a medical student... who... to my mind... simply was not applying himself seriously enough... to his medical studies... even though he was a genius... I look for a way to cheer myself up... and alight on the bright idea... that what I need today... is my favorite form of distraction... a movie...

I decide on a musical... showing at my favorite cinema... the famous His Majesty's Theater... built some time in the 1920's... in honor of King George the Fifth... of England...

A large... beautifully appointed building... of magnificent architecture on the outside... its interior is opulently decorated with plush... roomy seats of red velvet... with exquisite Greek statuary... carved in white marble... standing in subduedly lit wall niches... set at intervals... along its veloured walls... topped by a star-studded ceiling... the whole theater comfortably air-conditioned... very elegant and posh...

I forget now what was playing... in view of the startling events... that took place that afternoon... taking me completely by surprise... awakening poignant memories... long buried... and heart-wrenching pain...!

I duly purchase a balcony ticket... for the matinee performance... and find myself a plushy seat... in the already darkened theater... sinking back into its soft contours... feeling nice and relaxed... and looking around me... idly notice that the house is almost empty...

The Pathe Newsreel is about to begin... and I am subjected to the usual heartrending reports... about more famine in India... high fatalities of the Korean war... floods... fires and typhoons... when a picture flashes on the screen... showing a nightclub scene in Tokyo... And my interest quickens... because I had spent the first eleven years of my childhood... in the Orient... ten of them in fascinating Japan...

As I watch... incredulous with disbelief... I am dismayed to see the sexily gyrating form... of a young Japanese girl... looking as if poured into her shiny... slinky black cocktail dress... which seems to be glued to her body... accentuating her breasts and buttocks vulgarly... as... while bumping and grinding her hips... to the beat of the rock and roll music... she belts out a cacophony of deafening noise... in a raucous voice... the whole mind-boggling scene... putting me into a state of dazed... momentary shock...!

What I am witnessing... is almost unbelievable... to say the least... as never before... had I seen a "Nippon no shojo" ... behaving in such an unfeminine... cheap manner... in all the ten years I had lived... growing up in my beloved Nippon... Land of the Rising Sun...!

On the contrary... my experience of Japanese women... young or old... more often than not... except for my succession... of common... low-class village Amahs... had always been most pleasant...

And I had always particularly admired... their very retiring air of modesty... their soft-spoken... genteel manner... whether beautiful or not... whether rich or poor... their graceful bodies.... draped in exquisite... colorful kimonos... their jet black hair... traditionally coiffured... in age-old... intricately elaborate creations of magnificence... always charmed... and delighted... to see their example... of gentle graciousness... and exquisite femininity...

In all the ten years... I had lived in Japan... I had never seen any of them... clad in Western dress... except for school girls... who... for practical and disciplinary purposes... were compelled to wear modern uniforms of tunics... or skirts and blouses...

So that the horrible news segment... that I am now absorbing... is very hard for me to accept... as I sadly realize that... alas... even these delicate... and most feminine of creatures... have also been mesmerized and seduced... and succumbed... to joining the ranks... of their more modern... Western sisters... coarse by comparison... in a by and large competitive world... ever since the end of World War II... when the American victors... swarmed all over Japan... in droves...!

No sooner have I digested... this bit of painful truth... when my already dazed... and befuddled senses... are subjected... to yet another shock... only this one is far greater... and more painful... than the first...!

Already finding the newsreel... much too lengthy... and much too depressing... in my already heavy-hearted state... wishing fervently... that it would end... so that I could be transported... and enchanted... for an hour or two... by the magical make-believe... of the cinematic arts... my interest is suddenly re-awakened... by what the newsman... is now reporting...

I look down at the screen... and see before me... the scene of a ship about to sink... off the Strait of Mozambique... along the coast of East Africa... and all at once... her name... "Klipfontein"... leaps out at me... and I sit bolt upright... overcome by a flood of realization... that I know this ocean liner... know her most intimately...!

Everything in front of me... becomes a blur... as the tears spring to my eyes... and I remember what she means to me... the myriad scenarios of adventurous frolicking... when I was eleven and a half years old... and already standing... at five feet eight inches tall... flashing across my mind...

And the poignant sight... of my beautiful ship... half submerged... in the waters in front of me... evoke painful memories... making me think back... to the carefree time... when I happily hopped... skipped... jumped and raced... across her gleaming decks...

Especially after my fervent prayers... Were Answered... when my Papa's specially engaged... loathed young tutor... filled with wanderlust... had suddenly decided... to get off the ship... at Singapore... to go to the Phillippines... to explore its fascinating islands... even though the war... was raging all around him... throughout the Pacific...!

This gallant... graceful vessel... "Klipfontein"... that had Miraculously escaped being torpedoed...! This streamlined... 520 feet long magnificence that... during the dark... foreboding years of 1941 and 1942... had carried hundreds of frightened... but brave refugees... across the perilous seas...

These included... my loved/feared father... Theodore "Papa" Rau... and his family... consisting of the love of his life... his Russian wife... Xenia... and his three Swiss/French/Italian children... Prima... his eldest seventeen year old daughter... Remo... his only son of sixteen... and his youngest... eleven and a half year old... brainless... "dumb cluck" daughter... Graziella... whom he ... nevertheless... still secretly regarded... as his "Darling Nadia..."!

For about thirty days... people of all nationalities... desperately trying not to dwell... on the very real and constant threat... of either being torpedoed into Kingdom Come... or captured... detained and incarcerated... in some horribly inhuman... Japanese internment camp... where they would most likely be tortured... and starved to death... had entrusted their precarious lives... into her keeping... as she majesticaslly sailed... across the Pacific Ocean...

I cannot help myself... I am choked up with memories... indelibly printed... upon the innermost recesses... of my very soul... and I weep with unchecked emotion... as I watch her slowly sinking... thinking to myself...:

"How tragically ironic...! You sailed through so much danger... during the War... and now... in peace time... you have to perish... into the depths of the ocean... by hitting a reef...! What a senseless... stupid accident...!"

Apparently... on the 18th of January... 1953 - almost eleven years to the day... after she deposited us safely... in the blacked out harbor... of Los Angeles... - she was racing the British passenger ship... "Bloemfontein Castle"... to get to the single berth available... at the port city of Beira... in Portuguese East Africa... and in her haste... sailed too far inland... striking a reef...!

Fortunately... since it took her... a good three hours to sink... there was plenty of time... for her passengers and crew... to be rescued aboard... by the "Bloemfontein Castle"... which quickly went to her rescue... Naturally... she won the race... but at what a terrible cost...

Silently paying further homage to her... I whispered softly...:

"My dearly beloved "Klipfontein"... I shall forever treasure you... in my heart... How safe you always made me feel... and how valiant... and courageous... your master... "Captain Post"... and crew always were...

Thank you... intrepid "Klipfontein"... from the bottom of my heart...

Even as I am filled with deep sadness... I am grateful and honored... to bear witness... to your final hours... and wonder... if any of my co-passengers... in other parts of the world... will see this Pathe Newsreel... and how their reaction will be... Will they also recall your bravery... and weep... or will they not even remember... the enormous part you played... in bringing them all to safety...? I wonder...

To me you were not just a mass of steel... and metal and glass... but a spirit of benign power...! Whenever I felt the throb of your strong heart... under my feet... I always felt very secure... and filled with an inexplicable sense of safety...!

Who can explain how one ship... can feel different from another...? Something intangible... gives one the feeling of rapport... of "knowing"... that one is safe from harm... I just simply "knew"... somewhere deep inside me... that no evil fate... could ever befall us... not whilst on board... your sturdy decks...!

Of course... as you know... there was also the fact... that I did a lot of God Flattering... Praising His Magnificent Creation... of Sea and Sky... to Him.. together with dear Captain Post... every morning at dawn... as we watched the spectacular sunrise together... way up high on his deck...! Which might have also helped... in our remaining safe... from harm... as my Beloved Heavenly Father's Reward...!

I remember falling in love with you... at first sight... from the very first moment... when I caught a glimpse... of your beautiful... graceful lines... as you sat sparkling... in the sunlight... at the docks of Surabaya... Java - you had such an air of queenly... proud confidence... like that of a formidable Grande Dame - and yet you looked so gentle...!"

Our dear Captain Post and his crew... had always managed... to put the jittery... anxious passengers... entrusted to their care... at ease... even while fully aware... that their ship was surrounded... by the very real threat... of Japanese submarines... destroyers... and battleships... lurking in the waters... of the China Sea... and the Pacific Ocean...!

Threatening monsters... which might at any moment... in mistaking her for the enemy... turn hostile... pointing their cannons... and their deadly torpedoes... in her direction... intent on smashing her... into oblivion...!

Or maybe even... drunk with the power... of already so much conquest... throughout the Pacific... on purpose... ignoring the fact... that she was a Dutch ship... and therefore neutral...!

Furthermore... the news on the ship's radio... was always unsettling... and a lot was withheld... from the passengers... in order to prevent any possible spy activity... that might be going on... or outbreak of panic and pandemonium... with passengers... jumping overboard... the Captain and his men... doing everything in their power... to keep morale high... on board ship... for their often nervous... easily apprehensive charges...

Although the "Klipfontein"... was a Dutch ocean liner... and therefore considered neutral... we never knew... from one day to the next... when Holland might also be plunged... into the terrible holocaust... of the War...

As a matter of fact... we found out... months later... that a twin Dutch passenger ship had... in fact... been an indiscriminate target... for the Japanese fleet... on its second day out to sea... after leaving the port of Shanghai... its destination Surabaya... Java...!

The neutral... twin Dutch ship... of the "Klipfontein"... named the "Tjinagara"... was torpedoed... and sunk... on the very same day... that Pearl Harbor... was attacked and bombed... leaving not a single survivor on board... the ship having left Shanghai... only one day... before we did... and sailing the same sea route...!

As I mull over these sobering thoughts... I again realize... for the millionth time... how many close calls... we had experienced... several times... coming to within twenty-four hours... of being a deadly target... for annihilation ourselves... on that fateful ocean crossing... if it had not largely been... for fractured... neurotic Xenia... my Madonna loving... Russian stepmother... who seemed to be the God Chosen One... to at crucial times... keep us... out of harm's way...!

And I feel a swelling of pride... filling my chest... even as my heart throbs with sorrow... at now being a witness... to my beloved "Klipfontein's" inevitable... tragic end... And even as she lays dying... half submerged in the water... there is an indestructible dignity... about her still...

I had periodically wondered... what had become of her... during the twelve years... or so... that had elapsed... since that memorable... long... ocean voyage... sailing from Java... to the United States of America... via Auckland... New Zealand... and here she was... as large as life... right before my astounded eyes...!

With a lump in my throat... I finger the silver "Klipfontein" brooch... outlined in a fancy script... that I always wear... in honor and memory of her... and that often Miraculous sea voyage... on board a make-believe atmosphere... of quasi forced... devil-may-care gaiety... the passengers of whom... were a motley collection... of International "neutrals"... including a Nazi spy...!

Actually... a diabolical fiend... who played an enormous part... in the passengers' lives... duping them very cleverly...!

It had been a perilous journey... from the Far East... to the Far West... which sojourn... by far... had been one of the most exciting times... of my burgeoning young life... a soul-shaking four-month slice... out of what had already begun to be a turbulent existence... starting back in Japan... a never-to-be-forgotten journey... that is indelibly etched... even unto the very depths of my soul...

As I grieve... whispering... "Farewell... my splendid... majestic ship of valor..."... the agony of watching her slowly sink... like an enormous beached whale... is almost more than I can bear... and I almost wish... that I was not being a witness... to her sad demise...

And yet... through the excruciating pain... clutching my breast... there is a strange instinctive feeling... inside me... that I Had Been Singled Out... for a "Greater Purpose"... that I Had Been "Directed"... to this particular theater... on this particular afternoon... by Providence... and was not there... merely by chance alone..!

The main feature... is about to begin... and I deliberately try to push away... the sad thoughts and memories... of my magnificent... undaunted... regal "Klipfontein"... focusing all my concentration... on the musical comedy... I had come to see... instead...

But later... back home in the privacy... of my lonely room... once again overcome... by the startling events... of that bewildering afternoon... I give myself up totally... to my grief... and anguish...

And as I weep bitterly... the vivid memories... of my beloved Nippon... and that incredible sea voyage... across the Pacific Ocean... flood back... unchecked... with my almost twenty-three year old heart... filled with an aching longing... to turn back the clock...!

And I am suddenly Reminded... of the Momentous Occasion... when my Guardian Angel Friend... ever since I was four years old... Whispered into my right ear... as usual... as I walked up the gangplank... to board the magnificent "Klipfontein"... Saying...:

"You Must Be Very Observant... And Remember Everything... Because You Will Be Writing About It All... One Day...!"

And now the feeling... begins to grow strongly inside me... to tell the world... about my ten tumultuous years... of growing up... in the strangely exotic... "Land of the Rising Sun"... and of the part... this indomitable ship... the "Klipfontein"... played... during those long... thirty days and nights... of uncertainty... of my childhood... sailing from the Far East... all the way across... to the Far West...

And I can picture it all distinctly... and clearly now... as if it had all taken place... happening only just yesterday...!

And I begin to write... about it all... beginning the pages... of this epic saga... way back then... which became titled... many years later... as "From The Shadow... Of The Rising Sun..." ... the name Received Simultaneously... by both yours truly's much younger... and third and last... SUBUD husband... dearest Farlan... and herself... while driving through the beautiful Painted Desert... of New Mexico...!

Farlan... a very rare... and noble soul... who would be destined... a few years later... right after their Loving Creator... Ended the intimate side of their marriage... for good... to continue to take care... of his much older... fifty-two year old wife... who still... by the Grace of God... looked twenty years younger...!

To nurse her... through a seven year long period... of being totally bed-ridden... due to countless God Willed Strokes... suffered... as very deep... Ancestral Purification... of the myriad evil sins... of her noble ancestors... who... in their positions of power... over their helpless subjects... committed heinous acts of cruelty... like robbery... and in their greed... and covetousness... even murder...!

And during which time... He Commanded... that she... His loving daughter... from time to time... write her Spiritual Odyssey... titled "From Seven Hells... To Seventh Heaven... SUBUD..."!

And now... some twenty-seven years later... it is presently... in the last stages... of being re-edited... for the very last time...!

Although PARTS I to III... are ready... to be read... now... and hopefully enlightening... for the many... specially Chosen by God souls... Assigned by His Angels... To Be Blessed... To Be Led... By Them... to this Holy Website... named "SUBUD Stories..."! God Willing... and Amen... So Be It...

Also available... are PARTS I to III... of "Heavenly Visitations..." ... describing some wonderful... awesome Heavenly Visitations... from this humble to God soul's dearly departed Loved Ones... throughout her SUBUD life... and most particularly... when she was seventy-two...!